


Not Quite What You Planned

by MellowWrites



Series: TiMER Series [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - TiMER Fusion, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, In-Laws, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-10-25 07:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellowWrites/pseuds/MellowWrites
Summary: It seemed pretty simple and it made sense to those who bought it, but the actual science behind it was complicated and far too lengthy to comprehend. But the point of the TiMER was simple - a digital clock that would count down to the exact day you met your soulmate.That was the ideal romantic future Tooru had grown up with.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Watched TiMER again recently and thought up this. I hope I have fun with this and I hope you enjoy it.

The trend started several years ago; some people bought into it while others believed the natural way was the best way. It caused many controversies, but soon the media had been sold on the product - the satisfaction rating making it to a whopping 98% - and eventually the conversation of how long you had to wait for it was commonplace in all social forms.

The product was known simply as TiMER.

It seemed pretty simple and it made sense to those who bought it, but the actual science behind it was complicated and far too lengthy to comprehend. But the point of the TiMER was simple - a digital clock that would count down to the exact day you met your soulmate.

That was the ideal romantic future Tooru had grown up with.

The TiMER came out on the market long before Tooru was born - exactly ten years, actually - and his parents had both immediately gotten it. Their story was silly, but the way they told it to him was magical and wonderful and Tooru always wanted that for himself. Well, maybe not having it go off the second it was implanted into his wrist - right in the middle of the store too, the fact that his parents met buying the thing that would seal their fates together forever was embarrassing enough without them swooning over it - but something like that!

Tooru’s older brother, Souta, had a much more magical story if you asked him. Maybe that’s what he wanted…

Souta was nine years older than Tooru - born right after their parents married - and he met his soulmate when he was eighteen years old. He had taken Tooru to the mall to buy knee pads for volleyball since Tooru had fallen in love with the sport and decided that was what he’d dedicate himself to. The woman behind the counter hadn’t made eye contact with him due to Tooru animatedly chatting at her and gaining her attention before Souta could even put the pads on the counter. But when Souta spoke, Chiyo took one glance at him and the sound of the TiMER going off filled the store.

Tooru still remembers how silent it felt, watching them register what was happening and seeing their faces soften into lovestruck smiles and flushed cheeks was enough for Tooru to decide that he wanted that, too.

His sister on the other hand got her TiMER three years before he did, and Hiroko was not pleased that it counted down to when she was nearly forty years old. Tooru worried his TiMER would say something similar when he got it at sixteen, but Souta and Chiyo assured him every TiMER was different. Tooru still couldn’t let go of the anxiety of a bad countdown and hoped it would be okay.

It was worse than Hiroko’s.

When the specialist came to his home the night of his sixteenth birthday, only his family had gathered around. His young nephew, Takeru, stood by watching in awe as the man took out the tool that would embed the clock into his arm. Tooru grew excited and worried all at once and hoped for the best as the man positioned it over his right wrist.

The pain was crazy awful, sending a jolt through every nerve of his body and an aftershock wave of energy pulsed through him. It barely lasted a second but the entire second felt terrible. Once it subsided though, everyone had leaned forward to see what would happen.

Nothing did.

They waited a moment longer.

“Is it broken?” Hiroko had asked with her snarky tone, though having grown up with her Tooru could tell she was concerned in some way.

The dashes remained flashing, no set time forming or counting down. Tooru grew worried.

The specialist sighed and shook his head. Tooru felt dread wash over him. “There’s no need to worry, it’s not broken. It just means your soulmate hasn’t gotten her’s yet.”

Tooru relaxed. That could mean one of three things. Option one was that she wasn’t sixteen yet and she couldn’t get it. Option two was that her parents didn’t consent to her getting it and she’d have to wait until she was eighteen.

Option three was the worst in his opinion - she didn’t want the TiMER and preferred the old fashioned way.

While the TiMER was commonplace in just about every household in the world, it was not completely accepted yet. Though it had been over twenty five years since the product came out, there were still skeptical people and the satisfaction rating was not a perfect 100%. In fact, the Oikawa family knew of one particular family that felt very strongly against the TiMER and because of it, they weren’t on good terms.

At least, all of them but Tooru, who’s best friend was Iwaizumi Hajime, son of two people who had met and fell in love without the TiMER’s help.

When Tooru first met Hajime in primary school, they had clicked instantly and grew to spend all their time together. If Hajime went bug hunting, then Tooru followed after, and if Tooru wanted to go play volleyball, then Hajime followed after. It was a push and pull relationship that was met with plenty of healthy competition and many fond memories.

But the one thing that kept their relationship far from perfect was their parents’ mutual hatred for each other.

The Oikawa’s couldn’t believe the Iwaizumi couple’s relationship was perfect without the TiMER’s say so, but the Iwaizumi’s argued back that they didn’t need some implant to tell them what they had was real. And by questioning each other’s sanctity of marriage, they had effectively cut off any ties they may have had from one another - all except Tooru and Hajime, who were welcomed to one another’s home, but it was clear the families wanted nothing to do with each other.

And so, Tooru knew how possible it was that his soulmate did not want to find him this way.

Hajime was a month older than him, and when he came to practice without a TiMER after his own sixteenth birthday, Tooru had to ask him why. Hajime had just shrugged.

“My parents don’t want me to get one, but I honestly don’t think I want one anyway.”

Tooru could not imagine it, never knowing when he’d meet his one true love. At least, during that time he couldn’t.

It has been nearly two years, and his TiMER still met him each morning with flashing dashes and no time to go by.

Setting the ball up to Hajime, Tooru tries to shake off those memories. It had eventually grown easy to ignore his wrist, and Tooru has now fallen to simply running his finger over the smooth surface of the clock without checking it. Hajime had been supportive through it all, but it’s still clear to Tooru that he believes Tooru should just get over it already.

Hajime smacks his shoulder, eyes on Tooru’s wrist. “Focus, Oikawa; now’s not the time.”

He nods and drops his fingers from touching the clock. “Nice spike, Iwa-chan…” he mumbles back, glancing to their coach when the whistle sounds for the next round of spiking practices.

Hajime jogs away to help out some of the younger members, and Tooru readies himself to continue setting the ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first story I've written in a VERY long time, and the first story I've submitted here. Thought I'd try a test run...
> 
> If I don't tag something and you think I should, let me know. Again, first time here :P


	2. Chapter One

Matsukawa and Hanamaki have Iwaizumi choking on his noodles with laughter as they tell their story, but Tooru just isn’t listening. Some first year couple had their TiMER’s go off that morning in the hallway and everyone had applauded them, but Tooru just felt a sinking feeling in his gut as his best friend pulled him away. He glances to Iwaizumi then, watching Hanamaki smack the hell out of his back to help him stop choking, but it looks like it only made it worse. Tooru rolls his eyes and grabs hold of Hanamaki’s wrist, stopping him from hitting Iwaizumi again. “Put your arms up, Iwa-chan. It will help with airflow…”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki settle back in their seats, watching Iwaizumi try to regain his breathing. “I didn’t think it was that funny, Iwaizumi,” Matsukawa admits, shaking his head in time with Hanamaki.

Iwaizumi coughs a few more times, shrugging off their words and wiping away a few stray tears. “Sorry, I was mostly laughing at that  _ ridiculous _ face you made, Hanamaki. No way that’s how Kunimi looked!”

Hanamaki nods vigorously, grin returning to his face. “Oh but it is!”

Tooru begins to recede into his thoughts again when Matsukawa kicks him under the table. “What’s up, Oikawa? You’re usually more lively than… whatever this is.”

Iwaizumi scoffs before Tooru can even begin. “He’s just mad his TiMER is still blank.” Tooru glares at him, bottom lip jutting out in betrayal. “What? It’s true and you can’t hide it.”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa make noises in agreement, and Tooru clicks his tongue indignantly. They laugh, but knowing how Tooru’s moods work, the three move on to a different topic to take the pressure off of him.

The TiMER is a sensitive subject with Tooru and his friends knew it. While Iwaizumi was the only one among them that didn’t have it, Hanamaki and Matsukawa also treated the product with little care. Their TiMERs were counting down steadily, and they had joked that it was unfortunate their clocks didn’t go off when they next saw each other. But Tooru caught glimpses of their wrists every now and then - Hanamaki has a few more years to go, and Matsukawa’s was down to a few more months. It looks as though Hanamaki would meet his soulmate in college and Matsukawa would meet his upon graduating high school.

Perfect times to meet the person they’d spend their lives with.

Even as their clocks counted down to zero, Tooru could tell neither of them cared much. “It’ll happen when it happens, you know?” Hanamaki had once said, and Matsukawa just silently agreed as he ate the ramen Tooru had bought them on a lost bet.

“But how can you not be excited?!” Tooru had pouted, trying to glare discreetly at his blinking wrist.

Matsukawa had responded then, “because it will happen when it does. It’s not important right now, and I have other things to worry about.”

Tooru hated that; Hiroko was similar in mindset, jumping around with relationships and dating people she knew weren’t the one. She argued that if she had to be forty when her perfect relationship started, then she wanted to have fun until then. Tooru supposes that makes sense, but it still would be nice to just know instead of having to guess all the time.

Which is why it frustrated him to no end that Iwaizumi didn’t have one.

Iwaizumi might as well have a blank TiMER too, but Tooru felt bad for whatever girl he has left waiting for him. She probably feels the same way Tooru does, asking herself if she’s even good enough to have a soulmate if her other half isn’t going to try to find him.

He knows it’s not a huge deal, and Iwaizumi is content with not knowing so why can’t he be content as well? Iwaizumi’s parents were clearly in love - they looked at each other the way Tooru’s parents did and it was sweet to see them so in love. There was no doubt in Tooru’s mind that Iwaizumi’s parents were meant to be, but how could they ever know for sure?

Iwaizumi nudges him then, pulling him from his thoughts. “I paid for you, dumbass, now let’s go.” He’s standing, pulling his bag up to his shoulder while Matsukawa and Hanamaki head out the door, chatting away. Tooru blinks up at him, wondering how long they’d been there. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and grabs hold of his arm, pulling him from the booth. “We’re going home, sun is setting and I know you have homework, too.”

Tooru trails behind him to the exit, adjusting the strap of his sports bag over his shoulder. Iwaizumi holds the door open, watching him closely. “I’m fine, Iwa-chan, you don’t have to baby me…”

He scoffs in return, letting the door swing shut behind them. “You know you’ll find her one day; maybe she’ll realize she’s dating all the wrong guys and finally get the TiMER to find you.” Iwaizumi’s patting his back, the most comfort he can offer on a topic he doesn’t really care about.

That’s the one thing Tooru appreciated about his best friend; even though it didn’t matter to him, it mattered to Tooru and so there was some value in it.

“What about you though? How can you live with yourself knowing that there’s some girl out there feeling worthless like I am?” Tooru counters, side eyeing him as they move to walk down the sidewalk to catch up with their friends.

Iwaizumi scowls and moves to kick him. Tooru side steps it and grins back. “If she’s my soulmate, then she probably doesn’t have the TiMER either.”

Tooru has to give him that one, unfortunately. “Okay, but—”

“But nothing, Oikawa. Look, she’s out there and you’ll meet her, just not yet.”

“I don’t think she wants to…” Tooru kicks a rock, watching it skid across the concrete and bounce off Matsukawa’s heel. He jumps in surprise, glaring back at Tooru.

“Everyone wants to find love, though,” Hanamaki jumps in, reaching back to pat Tooru’s shoulder. “Even Iwaizumi wants a girlfriend, right?”

Iwaizumi shrugs, “I’ve had a few, but it wasn’t really worth it.”

“That’s because they all had TiMER’s that were blank until their one turned sixteen and got it too,” Matsukawa interjects, earning a punch to the shoulder from Iwaizumi. Tooru knows he only did it because he’s there, but it didn’t make him feel better.

Deciding he doesn’t want to make his friends cater to him any longer, Tooru asks, “so what do you think she’ll be like, Mattsun?” The three all stop and stare at him, jostling Tooru just a bit when he almost runs into Matsukawa. When no one responds to his question, Tooru grows nervous. “What? I can’t ask you about your ideal girl?”

Matsukawa visibly relaxes. “Wait, you’re asking me about my soulmate?”

Tooru actually feels offended. “What do you take me for, a selfish prick?”

“Yes,” they all chorus, and Tooru blanches. “It’s just,” Iwaizumi continues, rubbing at his neck, “you’re always so worried about your own TiMER, you don’t seem interested in hearing about other’s…”

Clicking his tongue, Tooru crosses his arms and glares out at the road. “Sorry I never bothered to ask…”

“Well, if you really want to know,” Matsukawa starts, shrugging a bit, “I guess she’ll be sweet, and laughs at my jokes… beyond that, I don’t really think about it much.”   
  
“Why not?” Tooru asks, looking his friend in the eye. “You’ll be meeting her soon, haven’t you ever wondered about her?”

Matsukawa exchanges a glance with the other two before looking back to Tooru. “I mean, I’ve thought of how we’d meet and stuff. But for the most part, I guess I never thought of what to expect.” He shrugs again, gesturing to Tooru. “Have you thought about her? I mean, someone is out there, otherwise your TiMER would be completely blank, right?”

That was true, Tooru supposes. Or at least, that was the rumor everyone had heard. They never really specified what the TiMER would be like should your one suddenly die, and there have been some reports of completely blank TiMERs. It just didn’t say why they were blank like that.

“You’re right, I never have thought of her either beyond that she’s out there and not waiting for me.”

Iwaizumi scoffs and punches him lightly on the shoulder. “That’s not true, she might just not be ready for a commitment to finding her one.”

“Or she’s scared her one will be too perfect to be real,” Hanamaki adds, smirking a bit.

Matsukawa huffs a laugh, “and then she’ll meet you and realize you only  _ seem _ perfect, you’re actually a giant nerd.”

Tooru smiles at this, shaking his head. “I’m not a nerd, you dick.”

“Aliens, Oikawa; you’ll never live it down.” Iwaizumi says, patting him on the back with a smile of his own.

They all laugh, and after they glance over Tooru to check on him, they start walking again. Tooru watches them before he moves to do the same, feeling less insecure about his soulmate and her lack of interest in finding him.

“Seriously though, Mattsun, you’ve never considered what she might look like?” Tooru asks, grabbing his friend’s shoulders to look over left side, allowing him to continue to walk but only if he drags Tooru with him a bit.

Humming, Matsukawa puts a finger to his chin, trying to shrug Tooru off his back. “I suppose… she’d be perfect.”

They’re all silent at this. Tooru looks between Hanamaki’s grin and Iwaizumi’s eye roll before he says, “define perfect?”

“Man, I don’t know! I just know I’ll meet her and know it even without the TiMER saying something!”

Hanamaki laughs, “you’ll just know? How do you suppose that?”

Matsukawa glares at him. “Look, it’s hard to explain! You know what I mean though, don’t you?”

“Nah dude, I’m pretty sure I can define my soulmate beyond ‘perfect’.”

“No you can’t!”

“Yeah I can!” Hanamaki laughs at Matsukawa’s glare and shakes his head. “She’ll have nice hair and soft skin, and she’ll be small but womanly and—”

“Literally every girl is like that, Makki!” Tooru yells, making Iwaizumi and Matsukawa laugh. “‘Oh, she’ll be soft and small but womanly, you know, like every girl ever!’ Seriously?”

They reach the split off point, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa coming to an end of their laughter. They exchange their usual goodbyes and assurances of seeing each other tomorrow before Matsukawa and Hanamaki go to cross the street on their right and Tooru follows Iwaizumi straight across the street.

Iwaizumi kicks a pebble down the sidewalk, and the two walk in relative silence. Tooru doesn’t mind it much, their friendship was filled with the occasional comfortable silences. He looks down as he comes across the pebble, kicking it ahead of himself, knowing that Iwaizumi would keep it moving with them when they reach it again.

“Is that why you don’t want it?” Tooru asks suddenly, remembering what Iwaizumi had said.

He shrugs, kicking at the pebble. “I don’t know… I mean, I’m definitely not ready for a relationship. And even if I was, my parents seem pretty happy, so what’s the point of stressing about what some science said about my one?”

Tooru hums in agreement, kicking the pebble lightly. “I guess that makes sense. But, you know that it’s possible she did get one and has been sitting around like I have, just wondering why you haven’t.”

“I guess…”

Iwaizumi kicks the pebble again, only this time he kicks it harder and it skids out into the road. They stop and look out at the car that drives over it, continuing on when they don’t see the pebble again.

“Look, I get what you’re saying, Oikawa. I just… is there really any reason why I should get it?” Iwaizumi looks over at him, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I mean, if she really is waiting for me with one…”

“She’d be miserable,” Tooru mumbles, turning his gaze to his shoes as they walk. “I’m miserable with a flashing TiMER, so she’d be too.”

“And if I got one and it flashed at me too, what then?” Iwaizumi snaps, kicking another rock in front of them, bigger than the last.

“We’d have each other, then.”

Iwaizumi stops in front of the rock, turning to Tooru. “Is that what you’re looking for? Someone to have solidarity with in the flashing TiMER?”

“Maybe…” Tooru sighs, kicks at the rock to progress it’s adventure down the road. It kind of hurt his foot to kick it, but it’s nothing unbearable.

They stand looking at each other for a few beats, the sun’s moved beyond the horizon now. It’s still sort of there, lighting the sky in purples and oranges that change the color of Iwaizumi’s eyes to being more brown than green. They were an interesting color, Tooru always thought. Those same eyes were looking between Tooru’s now, trying to get a feel for his emotions in this moment.

“You turn eighteen in two weeks,” Tooru says, his voice soft and hopeful.

Iwaizumi sighs, scratches at the back of his neck. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course; for someone who’s been against it, you can take as long as you need. After you’re eighteen you can decide at any point to get it.”

He nods, and they continue on. Iwaizumi doesn’t kick the rock, and he doesn’t say anything else. Tooru looks to the horizon, watches the colors change to darker reds as the sun continues to set. They reach Iwaizumi’s home first, and he nods to Tooru without a word. He waves back, quietly adding, “goodnight, Iwa-chan,” as his friend moves up the path to his home.

———

Hajime slams the door shut on accident, still feeling the pressure of his decision weighing on his back. His mother pokes her head around the corner of the kitchen, giving him a look. “Sorry, Tooru was talking about his TiMER again and it was frustrating.”

She clicks her tongue, coming fully around the corner to watch him take his shoes off. “His parents certainly brainwashed the poor boy. Honestly, I’m glad they never tried to make you think that way!”

Hajime thinks of the times the Oikawa’s have talked about how great getting the TiMER was for them, and decides his mother doesn’t need to know about that. She especially doesn’t need to know Tooru just suggested he get one for the first time in their friendship.

“Yeah, no brainwashing here…” Hajime catches himself against the wall as he pulls off his other shoe, putting them together against the wall and out of the way. “What’s for dinner?”

“Dinner was an hour ago, you get leftovers.” She says, a small smile betraying her stern tone. “Besides, you’re the one who said he went to get ramen.”

“One bowl, it wasn’t very filling,” he mumbles, moving around her to the kitchen. His little sister is sitting at the counter, doing some math problem that Hajime could already say he didn’t get either. He opens the fridge, looking around at the contents until he finds the leftovers his mother was talking about.

His mother has moved onto her younger child, looking over her shoulder at the math work. “Oh Kaida, sweetheart, I don’t think I can help you here. Hajime, stay down here and do your work while you eat, and try helping your sister.”

Hajime groans to himself, wincing at the thought. “Sure, mom…”

Kaida growls to herself, mumbling about how Hajime was worse than she was at math. The indignant yelp he hears next tells him their mother hit her in the head - lightly, of course - in response.

He makes himself a plate of leftover pork, heating it quickly while he runs to grab his bag from the front door. “Don’t run in this house, Hajime!”

“Sorry, mom!” He calls back, moving back to the kitchen and grabbing out his homework. Kaida eyes him as he sets up next to her, but giggles when he ruffles her hair. The microwave beeps and he goes to grab the food, putting that down next to his books.

Hajime settles in for the next hour, going between working through his own homework and showing Kaida how to work through her math. She backtracks him a few times, telling him he’s doing it wrong. Eventually, they’re able to figure it out and she puts away her work happily.

“Thanks, Hajime-nii! Goodnight!” She jumps from the stool, leaving the kitchen to run up to her room. Hajime mumbles back a goodnight as he gathers his things, ready to move up to his room.

He thinks back to Oikawa’s request and winces at the bottom of the stairs. It was going to be a long two weeks with him, Hajime was sure of it.

The next morning, Hajime meets Oikawa outside his house and they walk to school together. They don’t talk about the TiMER, and Oikawa doesn’t check his or touch it, so Hajime sees no reason why he should worry about it.

They get to practice and find Yahaba storming out of the club room, face red with anger. He’s at least heading to the gym, so Hajime decides to worry about it when they get out there themselves. Inside, they’re both shoved at by someone trying to leave, and Hajime barely catches sight of Kyoutani.

Oikawa whistles, looking over at Hajime. “Guess Yahaba tried to bring Mad Dog-chan here again, huh?”

Hajime nods, still looking at the door. That’s probably a good argument against the TiMER, he thinks. Yahaba and Kyoutani  _ hate _ each other, but according to their TiMERs, they’re meant to be. It was an awkward day when Kyoutani showed up last year after they both had the TiMER, and the sounds of it beeping were loud in the gym despite the shouts and yelling of volleyball players. Kyoutani didn’t come back for months after that, much less than he used to, and Yahaba covered his TiMER up with a sweatband to not think about it.

This year, though, it was obvious Yahaba was trying to make it work. Kyoutani clearly didn’t want it to.

They make it out to practice and Irihata starts off a lecture about Interhigh starting in the next week. Hajime doesn’t pay attention, seeing the TiMER on Mizoguchi’s wrist. It’s already at zero, has been since Hajime was a first year. Irihata never got one himself, but knowing one of the couches has one and seems pretty happy is enough to make Hajime wonder.

He goes through practice mindlessly, moving through his routine with Oikawa and occasionally focusing on things when someone says something to him. He isn’t terribly off his game, but it’s clear he’s not really trying. Oikawa sends him a look every now and then, but it just makes it harder to focus. His wrist is within sight and Hajime catches himself looking.

Hajime hides himself in a stall after practice, head against the door. He can already see it, a TiMER that blinks dashes at him and tells him what he already knows. What would be worse is a TiMER beginning to count down, which means he did leave some poor girl waiting for him like Oikawa is waiting for some girl to just make the decision like he’s trying to now.

Oikawa’s so pathetic sometimes, the TiMER has eaten away at him and made him hopeless. Hajime doesn’t want to become a slave to the TiMER, he doesn’t want to focus on that so much that he can’t sleep without knowing she’s out there waiting for him.

Oikawa’s TiMER being blank is enough of an excuse to not want to get one. With his luck, he’d be like Oikawa and have a soulmate that doesn’t want to meet him.

Shit, he can’t think like that. Oikawa needs support, not someone who agrees with his negative mindset…

Sighing, he hits the door of the stall before pulling it open. Oikawa is standing on the other side against the sinks, the warning bell ringing overhead. “You okay?”

Hajime shrugs, moving to wash his hands. Oikawa’s arms are crossed and he doesn’t watch him wash his hands.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan, you don’t have to get a TiMER if it’s messing you up this bad,” Oikawa murmurs, pushing away from the sinks to look at him. Hajime hums in response, grabbing some paper towels to wipe at his hands. “Just do what feels right to you, okay?”

Hajime doesn’t say anything, just throws the towels away and grabs the door for Oikawa. He leaves the bathroom, checking to see if Hajime would follow. He does, but he doesn’t look at Oikawa before going off down the hall to his class.


	3. Chapter Two

Oikawa had thrown himself into captain mode that week, so Hajime followed his example and focused on the tournament. Being exempt from the first round, they came in and crushed Oomisaki High School, only allowing their opponents fourteen points in the first set and twelve in the second.

It was the match against Karasuno in the third round that Hajime recalled the clearest. Just as they had back in April, they fell into a three set match against them, and Hajime knew Oikawa thrived off the energy of that match. Off the feel of crushing Kageyama, his hate for their old kouhai loud and apparent when he stood over him. Hajime felt an unease at that time, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel proud of his best friend for overcoming his insecurities and proving his worth as a setter after comparing himself to Kageyama for so long.

Still didn’t keep Oikawa from inadvertently praising Kageyama later and putting himself down, much to Hajime’s annoyance.

They went on to beat Senseki High School in two sets in the quarterfinal, and Jozenji High in the semifinal. Oikawa’s confidence in crushing his old kouhai and his new team, along with Kindaichi and Kunimi’s rejuvenated energy for what Hajime could only assume was for the same reason, lead them through their victories that day.

Yet, the finals came and once again, Hajime’s strength as an ace was challenged by the one and only Ushijima Wakatoshi, and Oikawa’s nerves were killed in the end. They fought tooth and nail for the win, but were soundly shut down without a chance. Hajime can still hear the taunts of Tendo bouncing around on the other side of the net, suddenly appearing across from him when he thought he could make it.

Seijou lost again and Hajime felt the defeat bearing down on him. But Oikawa was worse off, and he had to pick up his best friend after he’d met with Ushijima.

He still doesn’t know what Ushijima said to him in the hall, but Oikawa’s clutching hold on his arm later told him it was bad. From what Hajime knew of Ushijima, he wasn’t a bad guy, but he certainly knew how to get under Oikawa’s skin, and even his own on occasion.

After that, life returned to it’s regular order and practice became less intense. With their loss in the InterHigh finals came a crash of reality for Hajime. Namely his eighteenth birthday and what he’d been ignoring all week.

It had never been an issue before. The TiMER was a thing that didn’t matter and was easily ignored before.

But now, it seemed like it was everywhere all at once.

Hajime could be logical about this and realize it might just be because he’s almost eighteen - four more days! - and he could choose to get one with or without his parents blessing. It could also be because of his age group and that, by now, everyone in his class has one.

Literally, it seemed all of them had one. The guys didn’t make much noise about it except to point out who was the closest in meeting their one true love every now and then, making jokes at those who were and how they’d be tied down sooner than later. Girls giggled and talked about their soulmates they hadn’t met yet in the seats near him. A few girls didn’t have a TiMER countdown yet - Oikawa wasn’t alone among the third years with a flashing TiMER it seemed - and Hajime was starting to notice them glance at his TiMER-less wrist.

Shit, what if one of his classmates was the girl he was making wait for him?

Shaking his head, Hajime ducks his head down and away from noticing their wayward gazes. It was free study time, and he could have left the classroom, but Oikawa’s class usually had the same timetable as him and he wasn’t sure he could face his best friend right now.

He needed to talk to someone about the TiMER, but his family would only talk badly about it and Oikawa was clearly biased with his own family being slaves to the TiMER. Hanamaki and Matsukawa have made it blatantly clear that they didn’t care at all about the TiMER beyond waiting for the countdown to finish.

Hajime needed someone who seemed as unsure as himself about having it.

He sees him before anyone else registers he’s there. Quickly, he grabs hold of his kouhai and drags him out the doors to talk with him.

“What the fuck…?” Kyoutani grumbles, pulling his arm out of Hajime’s grasp. “What’s that about?”

Hajime isn’t even really sure this will help. “I need to talk to you.”

Kyoutani scowls, his glare steady but Hajime can tell it’s less intense. It’s a bonus for gaining the guy’s respect, he supposes. “I’m not coming back unless I’m a starter.”

“No, not about volleyball!” Hajime lets out a breath, trying to keep from raising his voice. Kyoutani looks confused now - at least that’s what Hajime guesses - but remains quiet, waiting for Hajime to start talking. “Why did you get the TiMER?”

“Has that prick been saying shit?” Kyoutani starts, but when Hajime doesn’t say anything, Kyoutani sighs. “I don’t know what you mean…”

“When you were a first year and Oikawa first got the TiMER, you seemed pretty firm on the TiMER being a waste of time.”

“So…? People change…”

“And then you showed up with one, months after you turned sixteen, and  _ right _ after Yahaba did.”

Kyoutani remains silent.

“Look, I’m not saying you did it because of Yahaba, and I’m not suggesting you like him—”

“Because I don’t!” Kyoutani snaps, but Hajime sees a flush on his cheeks. “At least, I didn’t before…”

Hajime is almost shocked. “Wait, so you’re saying the TiMER really does work?”

Kyoutani hesitates. “No… I mean, it’s not wrong… Yahaba, I don’t think I have feelings for him…” He scuffs his foot, looks anywhere but at Hajime. “But he’s become important to me in the last few months.”

Hajime lets his words hang for a moment. “So you think you could—”

“Look, Iwaizumi-senpai,” Kyoutani starts, glaring at him again, “if this is about you and your issue with the TiMER, don’t use me to figure it out. My family thinks it’s a great device and they love Yahaba. The only reason I didn’t want one is because my dad was miserable after my mom died. I didn’t think I could deal with it. I caved when I did, and it just so happened that Yahaba had just gotten his, too.” Kyoutani shrugs. “You’ve never wanted it, and your parents didn’t need it to find each other. Why change your mind now?”

Kyoutani turns and leaves, and Hajime doesn’t even think to stop him when he finally notices it’s not in the direction of the gym.

Why indeed?

———

Tooru hums as he takes the cookie from the rack, the warmth of it heating the tips of his fingers and already it feels like it will break if he moves the wrong way. Before he can even take a bite, someone is hitting him in the head. “Ow, what the fuck!?”

“Oh shut up, and don’t eat my cookies…” Hiroko says, snatching the cookie back and shoving it into her mouth with a glare. “Aren’t you supposed to only eat healthy things?”

Tooru glares at his sister. “I can eat a cookie, I’m not in need of a diet.”

Hiroko rolls her eyes, moving to find a bin to put her cookies in. “You sure about that, flabby?”

He knows he doesn’t have to, but he actually double checks that his stomach isn’t getting bigger. “Positive,” Tooru mumbles, sadly watching the sugary delights get stored away. “Why’d you bake here? Don’t you have a kitchen in your apartment?”

She glares up at him. “Mom has better baking supplies than I do, duh.”

Tooru rolls his eyes. “At least let me try it - I can tell if baked goods are actually delicious.” Hiroko pretends to think about it but shaking her head within a second, blowing a raspberry at him. “You’re a terrible human being…”

“Never said I was good, let alone human,” she bites back, small grin at the corner of her lips. “Anyway, where’s your boyfriend? Mom said Hajime would be staying for dinner tonight…”

Tooru fights the urge to roll his eyes again, crossing his arms and leans against the counter. “He had to run home for a book I loaned him; I don’t think he actually used it for class…”

“If he didn’t have it with him, he most likely didn’t,” Hiroko quips, snapping the top on the bin. She gestures to the four cookies she had left out. “Share with him, I’m heading out.”

He watches her leave with her bin of cookies, and thinks about sharing with Iwaizumi. Before he can officially decide that the cookies were all his, Iwaizumi is walking through the same door his sister left through and has spotted the cookies.

“Hiroko said two of those were mine.”

“Damn it,” Tooru whispers, reaching for one himself. “Help yourself, then…”

Iwaizumi raises a brow, reaching forward as well. “Should you really be eating that?”

“Why does everyone think I need to go on a diet?!” Tooru shouts, biting down on the cookie. It’s just as gooey as he thought it would be.

Iwaizumi gives an unamused look. “Never said you needed a diet, stupid, just that you probably have cavities or something from all the milk bread you eat.”

Tooru doesn’t bother to respond, knowing that every argument he can make about his love of milk bread has already been heard by Iwaizumi before. “Did you find my book?”

“Yeah, I got it… I never used it though.”

“Shocking, Iwa-chan; borrowing a book for school and you didn’t even take it with you.”

“Oh shut up,” Iwaizumi shoves him, finishing his cookie in one bite. “Room?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They move up the stairs to Tooru’s bedroom, and he thinks about all the math he was going to have to help his best friend through. It’s Friday night, why does he have to be spending it doing homework?

Plopping down by his computer, he pulls up a playlist to fill in the empty noise of the room. Iwaizumi shuffles around behind him, but Tooru doesn’t worry about any potential mess. A brute his best friend may be, but he was cultured enough to not ruin someone else’s room.

“Hey, Oikawa…”

He turns around, sees that Iwaizumi had taken a seat in the middle of the room but has yet to pull out any homework. Iwaizumi isn’t looking at him, rather he’s looking at Tooru’s wrist. He doesn’t have to follow his gaze to know that, he’s looked at his own wrist enough to know exactly where someone else is looking.

This is about the TiMER, isn’t it? Tooru feels tense, knows that Iwaizumi has been struggling with it since he suggested it.

“Give me one good reason to get that thing, and we’ll go tomorrow.”

Tooru feels his throat contract, his heart speed at the thought. Iwaizumi’s birthday was tomorrow, wasn’t it? Shit, Tooru’s a terrible friend, he almost forgot.

He takes a deep breath and looks away, Iwaizumi’s gaze fixed on his blinking TiMER. Tooru wracks his brain, trying to think of a reason that would be good enough for his friend to want what he has - or well, what he would have if his soulmate actually cared—

‘This is about Iwa-chan. Not Tooru. Stop it, you idiot,’ he thinks, closing his eyes to focus.

Tooru takes a while to really think about his best friend. Iwaizumi Hajime was simple, but not… not too simple. He cared about others without judgement, though people thought he was some kind of horrible person who only had his sights set on terrorizing Tooru. He had a big heart, and while he didn’t talk about feelings, he was pretty good at discerning how someone felt and acting accordingly. The amount of times Tooru didn’t even have to say how anxious he was over something and Iwaizumi was just there to comfort him couldn’t even begin to highlight how good of a man his friend had become.

Outside of his character, Iwaizumi Hajime had pretty stubborn belief systems. He never felt anyone needed to explain themselves, but he’d call you out instantly if you were being a dick - Tooru knew that all too well. He admired his parents, and their ability to love so completely without someone - or some _ thing _ \- pointing them in the right direction. He wanted that himself, to be able to chose who he loved, not be told that was the person he had to love.

Tooru guesses that was the one thing keeping him from even considering the TiMER. But he also supposes Iwaizumi had only ever heard the romanticised version of the TiMER.

“The TiMER,” he starts, taking a deep breath, “is designed to help you find your most compatible person. And while everyone usually says it felt like love at first sight, that’s not always true… actually, I wouldn’t say it’s true at all.”

He turns to Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi finally looks him in the eye. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, just because everyone goes with what the TiMER tells them doesn’t mean they have to,” Tooru shrugs. “You could meet your one and decide that you may feel closest to them, but that doesn’t mean you love them.”

Iwaizumi seems surprised by this. “You mean… I could still choose to fall in love with someone else?”

“Isn’t that how love works?” Tooru asks, shrugging. “We don’t really know what it means to be in love, but… we can guess.”

They stare at each other, and for a moment Tooru wonders why his brain is causing the crescendo of music to play between them before he remembers he started the playlist of instrumental music. He turns to check what song when Iwaizumi clears his throat.

“I guess we’re going tomorrow, aren’t we?”

Tooru snaps back to look at him, surprised. “Really?”

Iwaizumi shrugs, avoiding eye contact as he pulls out his homework. “Yeah, just… help me with this math problem.”

Tooru groans inwardly, knowing it would be a long night.

———

Hajime leaves his home around three in the afternoon, more wishes of “happy birthday” following him. He feels the guilt in his chest when he thinks of where he’s going that afternoon with Oikawa, especially when his mom asked him what they planned to do at breakfast and he made something up about Oikawa getting him something from the mall.

It wasn’t a total lie, but just knowing that his mother would never approve of the gift makes it hard.

Oikawa is waiting for him by the road, giving one of his fake smiles as Hajime approaches. “You ready?”

“Will I ever be?” Hajime responds, shrugging his anxiety away. Oikawa doesn’t answer, just turns to head down the road towards the station to catch the train. They walk in silence, and Hajime wonders about the process.

From what he understands, the TiMER is implanted into your wrist and you cannot remove it, even after it reaches zero. You could have it removed, he thinks, but it was costly and most people chose to leave it alone unless they were really dissatisfied.

There was only a 2% dissatisfaction rating in the last twenty five years though…

They board their train and stand amongst the crowd, Oikawa smiling and waving to a little girl who sat by her mother down the way and was staring in awe up at them. Hajime tries to smile but looks away in case it came out wrong, his nerves eating away at him.

What if he was a part of the 2%?

Oikawa bumps him when their car rattles on the tracks, and at first he thinks it’s a mistake. But he doesn’t move away and Hajime knows it’s meant to be a move of comfort. He tries to relax, isn’t sure he succeeded when Oikawa doesn’t move still.

They reach their stop in no time and step off together with around ten other people. It’s not too late in the day that the crowds have thinned, but it’s also not rush hour for a Saturday. Oikawa moves first and he goes to follow, trying his best to remain calm.

The mall is within their sights before he knows it and he can’t hold the panic in any long.

“I don’t think I can do this…”

Oikawa turns to him with concern. “You said you would if I gave you a good reason, though.”

Hajime shrugs and rubs at his arm. “I just can’t do this, Oikawa.”

He’s about to respond when they hear a voice. “Oh, it’s Oikawa and Iwaizumi.”

They both turn, and immediately Hajime feels the annoyance coming from his best friend. He can feel it too.

Ushijima and Tendo are standing there, Tendo carrying some bags from one of the stores in the mall and Ushijima only holding one from the sports store. Shocking that he only bought one thing and it was from one of the more expensive sport shops in the area.

“What do you want, Ushiwaka?” Oikawa snaps, his annoyance clear. Tendo grins at them, especially Hajime, and his own annoyance spikes with Oikawa’s.

“Just happened to see you, thought we’d say hello,” Ushijima says casually, and it’s clear the guy can’t tell he’s pissing Oikawa off. Sometimes Hajime wonders if he does notice and doesn’t care or if he genuinely cannot read the atmosphere.

“Also thought we’d ask how you’re both doing after your terrible loss last week,” Tendo snickers, and Hajime can say without a doubt that Tendo liked causing trouble.

Ushijima looks at his teammate with confusion, but nods a little bit. “I guess that’s true, you weren’t too upset, were you Oikawa?”

Oikawa scowls, “oh fuck off, Ushiwaka!”

“I was just asking…”

Hajime is pretty sure Ushijima can’t read the atmosphere…

“And you, Iwaizumi? You weren’t crying too, were you?” Tendo asks, grin growing.

“No one cried, Tendo. We’re not children,” Hajime grounds out, ignoring the fact that Oikawa might have been upset later that night and Hajime himself had to fight back tears.

They stand in silence then, and Ushijima checks his watch. “There’s a sale today for knee pads, if you two are here for that. As for the other stores, I don’t know much about them,” Ushijima says, and Hajime wonders if that’s his idea of a conversation. He doesn’t dwell on it, finally taking notice of something he had been all week.

Both of them had TiMERs, clear as day on Ushijima’s left wrist and Tendo’s right. And they were both at zero.

Ushijima had a soulmate - of course he did, no matter Oikawa’s theories he was still human - and it would appear Tendo did as well.

If these two could have soulmates, then why couldn’t Hajime?

When he finally came back to reality, Oikawa was making faces at their retreating backs and Hajime wondered who had the last word this time.

“Let’s go,” he says, pulling Oikawa away from his silent taunting. “I have to get that TiMER.”

Oikawa doesn’t question it, just follows Hajime to the mall and the TiMER store.

His resolve is short lived when the bell overhead jingles and Hajime feels all the anxiety he’d felt before drown him again at the sight of all the happy couples in the images and the red word of TiMER painted on basically every surface. 

“Hello!” The woman at the counter says happily, hurrying over to them. “I’m Matchmaker Saeko, I’ll be at your service today!” She winks at Hajime, and he blushes from her attention.

When he doesn’t respond, Oikawa bumps him, and when he still doesn’t say anything, Oikawa slings an arm around him. “Hello, Saeko-san, I’m Oikawa and this is my friend Iwaizumi! He’s eighteen today and would like to get his TiMER!”

Saeko smiles despite Hajime’s awkwardness and moves to grab hold of his wrist. “Alright then, I can definitely help you, Iwaizumi-san. First, I’m going to need you to come over to this computer and fill out all the required information.” Hajime follows her to the computers where other people were, and when he sits down he looks at the screen. “Okay, so first we’ll need to know some basic information about you, but we’ll also need you to read through the terms of use and accept everything. If you don’t understand anything, call me over, and if you can’t agree to some of the terms, we’ll have to part ways here. Good luck!”

Saeko smacks his back and waves before hurrying over to help someone else. The store had quite a few people, but there were only a few employees. Hajime sighs and starts looking everything over.

“Iwa-chan, you’re not that short, are you?” Oikawa whispers, and Hajime hits him.

“Shut up, stupid, and stop reading over my shoulder!”

Oikawa laughs and backs off. Hajime settles in, filling out all the information he needed and gets ready to read through all the paperwork.

There was a lot to the TiMER that he didn’t know about. For one, no one said it would  _ fucking hurt _ , though he supposes that makes sense, what with the implanting. But what really caught his attention was the fact that the TiMER, while obvious on someone’s wrist, will eventually feel like nothing if you grew to ignore it. Hajime couldn’t imagine that, had always thought the slip of a clock on people’s wrists must be a constant in their lives, even out of sight. There was a section that even talked about the TiMER being impossible to snag on things, and Hajime wondered about that. Hell, it said if it ever did get caught on something to see a doctor immediately because “it shouldn’t lift from the skin.”

What was he getting himself into?

Hajime sighed, checking things off, eventually giving up on reading through it all. Oikawa appears at his shoulder. “Are you even reading it all?”

“Did you?”

“Good point.”

The last one was the one to catch his attention, though.

_ We guarantee 100% that the TiMER will find you your soulmate, and should you not be satisfied with the love you find, we’re not at liberty to refund you any money. _

What the fuck?

Hajime groans to himself and checks it off anyway. Oikawa smiles at him, and moves to call over Saeko.

She returns, all grins and grand gestures. “Alright, Iwaizumi-san, if you follow me we can get your TiMER implanted and you’ll be one step closer to love!” Saeko pauses, looking at Oikawa with curiosity.

“Oh, I’m here for support. Also payment, since it’s his birthday and all.” Oikawa flashes his card, and Hajime stomps out any envy he has at the Oikawa family’s money. He knows they’re not that rich, but he also knows the TiMER isn’t just a quick payment.

Saeko nods and smiles again, moving towards the back with Hajime and Oikawa in tow. He’s almost surprised at how private the room is, but he guesses no one wants to actually watch some random stranger get their TiMER out in the open like they used to do.

He’s heard Oikawa’s parents’ story of how they met. He can’t imagine that being a thing now-a-days.

Saeko settles Hajime into the chair and he’s immediately reminded of the dentist. He wonders if Oikawa actually does have cavities, if only to keep his mind off of what was about to happen.

“Okay, so I know you just read through it, but I’m still supposed to say it,” Saeko says, typing something into the computer and clicking through to Hajime’s information. “The TiMER will hurt like crazy, but only for a second. Also, there’s some basic care to ensure there is no infection, but I’m sure Oikawa-san can show you all about that.” She winks at him, and Oikawa grins. Hajime rolls his eyes. “Other than that, I’m ready when you are!”

Hajime looks at her, sees the tool in her hand and the TiMER that was about to implant itself into his arm. Holy  _ shit _ , those spikes were huge!

Oikawa touches his shoulder and he looks up at him. “You can do it, Iwa-chan!”

Hajime takes a deep breath. “Yeah… okay… I’m ready.”

Saeko gestures for his arm. “Then give me your dominant hand and we’ll get this underway!”

He puts his right hand into hers and she flips it over to expose his inner wrist. Hajime winces at the sight of the tool over his wrist and moves his gaze up to Oikawa. Oikawa smiles at him, and he swallows his nerves, right before Saeko goes for it and shoots the TiMER into his arm.

Immediately, he is overcome with the worst pain he’s ever felt, worse than when he fell out of the tree trying to help Oikawa get down when he climbed up there and got too scared to come back down. A shockwave of energy shoots through him from his arm then, and then it was gone, as though nothing had happened.

Saeko moves the tool away, and the three of them look down at it.

It blinks once with the dashes, then chimes. Hajime is confused, seeing the flashing zeroes across the screen. There’s a second chime, and he looks over.

Oikawa’s TiMER is also flashing zeroes—

Wait.

It’s the longest second of his life as he moves his gaze upwards. He can’t breath, his eyes locking with Oikawa’s sweetly colored brown eyes.

Another jingle comes from their wrists.

“Well,” Saeko whispers. “That’s… awkward.”


	4. Chapter Three

Tooru’s pretty sure he’s still dreaming. He stares at himself, shuffling a bit to see if it’s noticeable.

For him, it’s so noticeable he can’t imagine no one looking and immediately not knowing.

He pulls on the hem of his right sleeve, trying to cover the TiMER - trying to cover the zeroes - from view in the mirror. It just looks  _ suspicious _ , the way he’s trying to cover it up.

Plus, it’s fucking June, why would he be wearing a jacket?

Also, when the Hell did he get a purple jacket? Purple just wasn’t his color - oh. It’s Iwaizumi’s.

Tooru chucks it off his shoulders, all but throwing it as far from him as possible, moves his right wrist behind himself. Maybe if he didn’t cover it up his family wouldn’t notice.

Fat chance, they’re just as obsessed with his TiMER as he is, especially because his is the only one flashing dashes.

Was.

Was the only one flashing dashes.

Those zeroes are reading out to him with neon bright lights, screaming at him “HEY LOOK. IT’S ME. TELLING YOU IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS THE ONE. YOU KNOW. YOUR ONE.”

Tooru groans into his hands, notices the TiMER again and thinks about grabbing another jacket. He sighs and grabs the closest one to him, the one on his desk chair, and is about to put it on when he realizes it’s red - that’s cool, red looks  _ okay _ on him - but also that it belongs to Iwaizumi, too.

When the fuck did he get so many of Iwaizumi’s clothes?

Actually, looking at himself in the mirror of his bedroom, he wonders if the shirt he’s wearing belongs to Iwaizumi too (shit, it does) and strips it off.

So now he’s shirtless, the TiMER is glaring at him from his wrist in his reflection, and he’s supposed to be down for dinner in two minutes with his TiMER obsessed family.

At a loss for what to do, Tooru digs through his dresser drawers, searching for something he knows is definitely his, has long sleeves, but isn’t heavy enough to cause a heat stroke in June.

He finds a thin cotton sweater with an alien winking at him on the shoulder. Good enough.

Throwing it on, he takes a deep breath, tells himself to not think of the TiMER -  _ good fucking luck _ \- and moves to shuffle out of his room.

It was such a shock when he heard his own TiMER going off in that room. It was a complete shock when it was beeping in time with Iwaizumi’s, the second they locked eyes. He could hear nothing else and he only saw the surprise on Iwaizumi’s face, the same surprise that was probably mirroring his own. Iwaizumi’s then-green eyes had widened, his jaw had dropped, and Tooru could do nothing but stare.

Some girl wasn’t keeping Tooru waiting, wasn’t making him feel unwanted. His  _ best friend _ was keeping him waiting. His best friend, who believed in finding love on his own terms, was the one he was destined to love.

Tooru could see how that would work. It was like any old romantic comedy, only this time Tooru wasn’t laughing at how corny it seemed with Iwaizumi. In fact, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Iwaizumi again after that.

They didn’t say anything to each other the entire walk home. Saeko had given Iwaizumi all that he needed to care for the TiMER, and they’d gone to get knee pads - because if Ushijima was impressed by the sale enough to tell them about it, they would be too, Tooru grudgingly had thought - and then they left to catch the train back home. Tooru then dropped Iwaizumi off at home, and they didn’t say anything still. And they didn’t acknowledge each other. And they went their separate ways.

“Happy birthday, Iwa-chan…” He mumbles now, feeling like the worst friend in the world as he reaches the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh yeah, it is his birthday, isn’t it?” Tooru jumps, flattens against the wall as Hiroko comes down the stairs beside him. “You get him anything, or are the Iwaizumi’s celebrating alone?”

Tooru hesitates. “They’re having a dinner of all of Iwa-chan’s favorites…” Like they do every year. Sometimes, Tooru is invited. It’s usually only if Iwaizumi himself invites him though.

He wasn’t invited after that debacle at the mall.

Hiroko makes a noise of understanding and continues to the dining room. Takeru appears around the corner then. “Tooru, grandma says to wash up and get down here.”

He nods, doesn’t say much else to his nephew. “Sure sure…”

Tooru follows his nephew to the bathroom, and thankfully Takeru doesn’t ask him about Iwaizumi. They wash their hands, Takeru telling him about the Pokemon he caught on his mother’s phone app and Tooru does his best to pay attention. All he can think about from that is how he and Iwaizumi had a competition to see who could get more Pokemon when the app first came out, but they forgot about it sometime within the first few months.

“Oh yeah, are you gonna come back to Lil’ Tykes to help us with our serves?” Takeru asks, drying his hands on the decoration towel. Tooru doesn’t bother to correct him on what towel to use, and thinks about the question.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“You should bring Hajime!” Takeru says, and Tooru wants to die. “He would be awesome for the wing spiker’s group!”

Tooru hums, chooses not to say anything and is slightly happy they’ve made it to the table. “What’s for dinner, mom?”

She’s just finished laying out the spread and gives him a look. “You have eyes, see for yourself,” his dad jokes, ready to dig in himself. Tooru chuckles with him.

“I’m actually surprised, usually you’re with Hajime all day on his birthday, Tooru!” His mother says then, and Tooru laughs again - it’s clearly awkward, not a natural sounding laugh. “Everything okay, baby?”

“Everything is fine, mom. Iwa-chan wanted to celebrate with his family alone tonight.” Tooru lies through his teeth, and his sister is giving him a weird look now.

Souta speaks up then, “did you at least get something for him? You’re not a very good friend if you didn’t, you know.”

Tooru wants to kill his brother - a rare occurrence - and just shrugs. “I got him knee pads…” Not a complete lie then.

His brother doesn’t look impressed. “Is that really all you two care about? Volleyball?”

“Yeah, what, no video games? No giftcards to that tofu place he likes?” Hiroko adds, smirking across the table at him. “You’ve gotten him that before.”

“I’m trying to save money,” he mumbles, knows that’s a lie. He dropped thousands of yen on Iwaizumi today for that TiMER. But he didn’t need his family to know that.

His mother gives him a look. “Tooru, I hate to break it to you, but you spent way more than a knee pad is worth today.”

Tooru stares at her. “What…?”

“Don’t pretend for a second that I don’t have your card’s information in my phone. Where in the world did you take Hajime to spend thousands of yen on him?”

Tooru feels his stomach drop out of his body and his heart shoot into his throat. His siblings both drop their utensils to stare at him, and even his sister-in-law looks fairly shocked at him. Takeru is looking between everyone with confusion, and Tooru’s father doesn’t look surprised - his mother probably already told him.

His mother purses her lips, “I’m not mad, Tooru, but that is a  _ lot _ of money to spend in one place. I thought it was better to ask then to look through the charge, but if you’re not willing to tell me—”

“TiMER,” Tooru whispers, but he knows they heard him.

Silence. Even Takeru is staring now. He’s eight and he knows how important the TiMER is to their family, and how  _ not _ important it is to Iwaizumi’s.

“I’m sorry?” His mother asks, shock evident in her voice.

“I bought him a TiMER,” Tooru admits quietly, unable to look away from his mother.

Hiroko hits the table, and Tooru doesn’t have to look to know she only did it to ground herself from the shock. Souta and Chiyo are looking at each other from what Tooru can tell out of his peripherals, and his father is staring at him.

Staring at Tooru’s wrist, actually.

“Why would Hajime want a TiMER?” His mother’s voice betrays no emotion.

Tooru shrugs, finally drops his gaze to look at the food. “I told him he should get one because he could be making some girl feel the way I was because my TiMER was blank…”

No one says anything. His father clears his throat, finally puts down his utensils. “And did his start to count down?”

He’s trapped in this conversation and the only way out is to tell the truth. Tooru knows this, knows how his family works. They’d figure it out eventually. “No,” there’s a sigh of relief it seems, but Tooru takes a deep breath, “it started beeping.”

Silence.

Suffocating silence, and Tooru can’t bring himself to look up at his family.

“What does that mean?” Takeru asks, his young mind unable to take the tension anymore.

“It means either that Hajime will meet his soulmate tomorrow,” Tooru’s mother starts to answer, “or he…” She can’t say it.

Hiroko snaps forward, grabbing Tooru’s right arm. He yells in surprise, feeling her pull him towards her and pull the sleeve away.

“Zero,” she snaps, glaring up at Tooru. “You reached zero, what, three hours ago, and you haven’t said anything?”

Tooru drops his gaze, rips his arm away from her.

He knows Hiroko is only upset that both her brother’s found their soulmates early on while she has to wait years, but he can’t bear to see what the rest of his family is thinking.

Souta starts to say something, stops, and breathes. “I didn’t… know you liked men, Tooru.”

He doesn’t sound disgusted, at least.

Chiyo reaches over, pats his shoulder comfortingly.

His mother claps her hands together, making Tooru look up at her. She’s got the biggest smile on her face, and Tooru is finding it hard to tell if it’s real or not - one part because she’s definitely happy her baby’s TiMER finally said something other than dashes, and the other because she’s not thrilled about who his soulmate is.

“It doesn’t matter who you’re interested in, Tooru! Just that,” she’s searching for the right words, “just that you’ve found your soulmate!”

His father has gone back to eating, but he’s still glancing at Tooru and his wrist every now and then.

“Honey, we should throw a party!” His mother continues, gesturing to his father.

“I don’t think Tooru wants to celebrate, dear,” is the answer she gets, and she frowns down at him.

“Why not? Tooru, you’re excited, aren’t you?” She’s looking at him again, and any feelings she has for the Iwaizumi family is not apparent on her face then.

Tooru knows she’s hopeful that Tooru is happy, knows she just wants her children to find the happiness she found because of the TiMER.

He’s not sure if he can give that to her.

“Yeah mom, it’s… it’s something…” Tooru says, dropping his gaze to his food and pushing some rice around his plate.

He can see his mother’s shoulders droop in response, but is glad when she turns her attention to Hiroko and her art projects. They’ve all taken the hint that Tooru doesn’t want to talk about his TiMER right now, or who it’s associated with.

Well, everyone but Takeru. “Does that mean Hajime is gonna be my uncle for real now?” He whispers up to Tooru, and Tooru wants to slam his face into the plate.

———

Hajime falls back onto his bed, feeling drained. He was able to keep his family from seeing his wrist throughout the whole dinner - even his grandparents had come to celebrate. It was a great dinner, and no one asked about his long sleeves staying firmly at his wrists. His sister did give him a weird look when the hem of his right sleeve got a little wet from juice when she knocked her cup over, yet he didn’t move to take off the jacket.

Thankfully, she was the only one.

So now he was alone, late at night in his room on his eighteenth birthday. Hajime was able to keep his family at bay and got to see his grandparents - lots of birthday presents from them, things he didn’t really need or want but was happy to get anyway, and plenty of birthday money as well - but at the back of his mind, all he could think about was the big, brown eyes that had bore into his a few hours earlier.

Oikawa looked… upset during that time.

Hajime didn’t know how to describe that face, but it was etched into his memory, clear as day. Oikawa was a master at covering up his real feelings, but Hajime was trained in the art of decoding his micro-expressions, the only person who could look at his best friend and know within five seconds how Oikawa was really feeling.

He found he couldn’t figure out this expression at all, however.

The beeping -  _ god _ the stupid beeping - was ringing in his ears again. It was pounding right along with the beating of his heart, deafening in his head and constricting his throat in ways that Hajime wasn’t able to name.

Was he happy? No, this didn’t feel like happiness. Well, okay, Hajime might be happy to know the fate of the world was telling him he was meant to be with Oikawa Tooru, his best friend and the only one outside of his family he could never imagine a life without, but… But that was only if Oikawa was okay with friendship.

Soulmates being just friends didn’t sound like an Oikawa thing to do.

He sits up, taking the jacket off then to look at the TiMER and flinging it across the room.

It’s just a strip of plastic, white on the face with a clear cover to see through to the numbers. It laid flat against his skin, and the frame of the white was red, his favorite color. Oikawa’s was blue, that much he remembers, and he runs his thumb over the face of the clock.

All zeroes, with little notations of the years and months and days, even down to the seconds, were listed as nothing but zeroes for him. The same could be said for Oikawa, though he had an older model - his only told the days, hours, minutes, and seconds. Back then, you’d have to do the math and see how many months or years you had if your’s had hundreds or thousands of days.

Oikawa Hiroko’s TiMER still gives Hajime a headache. Hanamaki’s was actually in the thousands as well, though it had never been higher than two thousand.

Hajime supposes they changed the TiMER just in time for him to get it, because there was no chance in hell he’d be able to do the math right if his said something like “5000 days.”

Too bad though, he didn’t have to wait - he’d known his soulmate for the last eleven years.

He falls back onto the bed, still staring at the TiMER. What did this mean though? He didn’t have to love Oikawa - actually, he felt pretty much the same as he did before. What was this bullshit about feeling like everything made sense and knowing this was the one you would love forever and ever the second you saw them?

Hajime sits up again, grabbing the bag to find the stuff that would ensure no infection would occur around the TiMER. There was at least a booklet that explained what he needed to do, seeing as Oikawa was too upset to say anything.

He’d taken that from him, Hajime knows this. He wasn’t what Oikawa wanted, and Hajime couldn’t say he was too upset by that fact. Oikawa wasn’t what he wanted either, but this supposed 100% guarantee of finding true love was a croc of shit.

Hajime’s about to rub the lotion around the edges of his TiMER when he hears a knock. Startled, he grabs the closest jacket to him - it’s blue like his uniform, and something tells him in the back of his mind he needs to get it back to Oikawa soon.

“Come in!” He calls, and Kaida pokes her head in. “What’s up?”

She hops her way over, bouncing to flop onto his bed next to him. “Happy birthday, Hajime-nii!” Kaida sing-songs, shoving the poorly wrapped gift into his face. “I didn’t want to give it to you in front of mom, she would have cried…”

Hajime takes the gift with a smile. “Thanks, tiny,” he says, and she kicks him. He laughs, and thinks about what she means by their mother crying. He figures it’s just because their mother wants them to get along so well that Kaida giving him a gift at all is enough to drive her to tears.

The gift is a few Shonen Jump books tied together with string he thinks came from their father’s tackle box. On the top, however, is a drawing Kaida clearly drew.

She wasn’t the best artist, but she was improving - all that manga must be influencing her. The drawing itself had Hajime staring though, and he could feel the grin start on his face before he could register what he was feeling.

Kaida had drawn him and Oikawa, holding hands with her and swinging her between themselves. In poorly written handwriting, she’d written out “Happy Birthday Big Brother” with a heart underneath before her signature. Hajime’s first thought was that it was sweet, and his second thought was that she needed to work on her penmanship.

“Thank you, Kaida. It was nice of you to get me anything,” he says, reaching around to pull her into a side hug. Kaida squeezes at his middle, laughing at his words. “I like the picture, too. Better than anything I could do.”

She rolls her eyes as she pulls away. “That’s because you have volleyball on the brain.”

Hajime huffs a laugh, ruffling her hair. “Yeah yeah, I love my volleyball…”

Kaida hops up then, waving to him. “Goodnight, Hajime-nii.”

“Goodnight, Kaida…”

She leaves then, and she doesn’t pull the door closed. But Hajime doesn’t notice, too busy looking at the drawing and thinking about Oikawa again.

‘I was so stupid,’ Hajime scowls at the drawing. ‘Why did I agree to this stupid TiMER? Now Tooru’s probably panicking about what it all means.”

At least, he hopes Oikawa was panicking, because he sure as hell was. He puts the pile of books carefully onto his desk and groans, falling back onto his bed.

Oikawa being his soulmate made sense, but not in the way Oikawa interprets it. He wanted nothing more than friendship from him, but Oikawa would…

Oikawa might…

Hajime can’t bring himself to think about it that way.

“Everything all right, Hajime?” His mother asks, and Hajime jumps in surprise. He sits up, looking at the doorway his mother is standing in. “You seem pretty distressed, want to talk about it?”

Absolutely not, Hajime could never tell her what he did. “Um…”

She moves into the room, and Hajime can’t tell her to leave. “Hajime, what’s wrong?”

He avoids her gaze, looks to the floor, directly at the bag he was going through when Kaida knocked. She follows his gaze and gasps.

Shit, the bag said TiMER.

Hajime looks back at her, worried she’d be disappointed. She only looks surprised. “Did… did Tooru…?”

“He didn’t make me do it.”

She’s turned to look at him again, and that was clearly not what she wanted to hear. “Hajime, did you get…?”

Hajime cannot lie to his mother, he was raised better than that. Shaking, he looks to his right arm and pulls the sleeve up. He watches her face, sees the expression shift from surprised and worried to resignation.

The zeroes were clearly there, Hajime knew she could see them. He wondered if she knew what that meant.

“It’s already at zero,” she mumbles, turning her tired eyes up to Hajime’s. “Was it Tooru?”

Hajime wonders how she knew.

She sighs at his silence and moves to sit beside him on the bed. “Why wasn’t he at dinner if he’s your soulmate?”

“Because I don’t think he wants me to be his,” Hajime responds, looking to the floor.

“He’s lucky it’s you and not some stranger,” she says back, reaching up to make him look at her. “Are you dating him now?”

“No,” Hajime snaps, but calms immediately when she takes her hand away. “I don’t love him - not like that…”

His mother nods. “With the way his family is, he’ll want you to eventually.”

“I know,” Hajime answers, but he’s not sure why he says it. He doesn’t actually know that. He doesn’t know what Oikawa is thinking.

“And what will you do?”

Hajime hesitates. “I… want to find my own love…”

She nods. “It’ll be harder with a TiMER that’s reached zero.”

“I know.”

“You’ll have to tell your father.”

“... I know.”

She kisses his forehead, whispers one last happy birthday, and leaves, closing the door behind her.

Happy birthday, indeed.


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of short, but it was hard to decide what to put into this chapter exactly...

After looking himself over again, Hajime sighs and runs his hands through his hair a few times, messing it up more than usual.

Sunday went by so quickly he wasn’t even sure it happened or that it was actually Monday already. He also wasn’t sure what to expect when he left his house this morning, considering it’d been over twenty-four hours without Oikawa calling or texting him.

In fact, Hajime wasn’t even sure if Oikawa was alive after they separated on his birthday.

Sighing again, he grabs his bag and bounces down the stairs in a rush, as usual. He wants the day to go as planned and for Oikawa to be out there, not acting weird and avoiding him. He wants for everything to go back to like it was before the TiMER.

His father says his usual good morning to him over the reports he’s going through at the kitchen table, coffee in hand, and Hajime just nods. He hasn’t told him about the TiMER yet, isn’t sure he ever can. His mother has treated him coldly since Saturday night, and Hajime figures she was only calm about it because it was his birthday. He’ll have to talk to them both, but right now, Hajime can’t bring himself to do it.

He grabs the bagel his mother laid out for him before she left for work and turns to leave, still hopeful Oikawa is waiting for him. Kaida nearly crashes into him, and she yawns up at him as she waves him out the door. He’s not sure if she knows about the TiMER, seeing as she’d spotted it on his wrist yesterday when they were finishing weekend homework together. She never said anything though. He hopes she never does.

Hajime shoves his feet violently into his shoes, barrels out his door and turns to lock it while scanning the sidewalk.

No Oikawa. Scowling, he jams his key into the lock and locks the door much more harshly than necessary. What a coward, can’t even face him after what he did…

He shoves his key into his pocket, ripping the bagel to pieces with his teeth, taking his anger out on it. Hajime wonders why Oikawa is the one avoiding him - if anything, he should be the one avoiding Oikawa. Yet here he is, getting pissy because his friend didn’t meet him outside his house. Or text him back all of Sunday. Or acknowledge his voicemails.

Hajime growls again, ripping into the bagel once more and chewing so violently his jaw starts to hurt.

“I-Iwa-chaaaan!!!” The most annoying whines of all the whines comes from behind him, but all the anger drains from him immediately upon hearing that stupid nickname in the stupid voice of his stupid friend. Hajime gives a breath of relief, swallows the bagel dry and turns, hoping his face doesn’t look so hopeful.

Oikawa is running to catch up, and his tie is all skewed - he didn’t even tuck in his shirt like usual. His hair is slightly stuck up in ways Hajime hasn’t seen from Oikawa in a long time outside of when he first wakes up, and he wonders if Oikawa just woke up.

That’s weird, though. Oikawa, for all of his late nights, was usually up very early in the day and took to meeting Hajime outside his house everyday. Sometimes Hajime would just be leaving his house when Oikawa walked up, but he was never late otherwise.

“What the hell, Shittykawa?” He snaps when Oikawa is finally standing before him. “I called you at least a hundred times yesterday!”

Oikawa huffs and puffs to catch his breath, and Hajime wonders just how long he was running for. “I-I know! I was taking care of Takeru though and my mom took my phone away to give him ‘proper attention’ or whatever!”

Hajime wants to call bullshit but he knows Oikawa’s mother. She was a strange woman, and believed that technology like phones wasn’t real human interaction. He feels better at least, knowing that Oikawa wasn’t avoiding him.

“I fell asleep early yesterday and didn’t have a chance to text you back, and I just woke up,” Oikawa seems to have finally caught his breath, and was turning to grab something from his bag. “Sorry, Iwa-chan, I didn’t mean to offend you…”

Hajime wasn’t really offended though. More hurt than anything, but Oikawa’s excuse was legit and he knew better than to argue this. He shrugs, watching Oikawa dig in his bag. “No big deal, just… text me to tell me she’s taking your phone next time…”

Oikawa flashes a grin, but it’s so fake Hajime wants to hit him. “I can try! Anyway, here,” he says, and he’s holding out a bento. Hajime stares at him, wonders why the fuck Oikawa would make him a bento, when Oikawa flails. “Wait! No! I didn’t make it!”

“Then who…?”

“My mom, she… uh… wanted to wish you a happy birthday, so she made you a bento for today.”

Oikawa’s cheeks are suddenly red. Hajime feels his own face heat up - he realizes what isn’t being said: “She wanted to welcome you to the family.”

His family knew about the TiMER.

Oikawa doesn’t look him in the eye at this revelation. Hajime isn’t sure what to say, slowly reaching out to take the bento.

“I… I uh…”

“She um… is excited…?”

Bullshit she’s excited, Hajime knows she’s only nice to him because he’s Oikawa’s best friend.

“And she… She said to invite you to dinner this weekend…” Oikawa’s voice is too soft to be normal, and Hajime hates how quiet he got.

Hajime also hates how Oikawa seems to be going along with his parents messed up belief that you love the person your TiMER tells you to.

“Oikawa—”

“Iwa-chan—”

They both pause, wait and Hajime sighs. “Look, I… I think we need to talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Oikawa asks, his voice cracking a little. “You’re my best friend and soulmate, there’s nothing else going on there. Now let’s go, Iwa-chan, we have practice this morning!”

Oikawa moves around him, starts to lead the way to school, and Hajime can do nothing but follow.

Fuck, if Oikawa wouldn’t talk about it, then it’s all on him if things go south.

———

Tooru is pretty sure this isn’t normal.

Okay, it’s totally normal. He checked all day yesterday over and over again. While Tooru has had feelings before, they were never real. And while this feels like those times, it’s the TiMER saying it’s right, so…

Does that make this real?

Class is blurring together. Tooru isn’t even sure if they’re in class right now or if it’s a free period. He’s so distracted by his thoughts that he can’t focus.

The internet could only tell him so much about having a crush on someone and whether you can tell the difference between real feelings and just imagined ones. It just…

It didn’t help.

Tooru isn’t sure if he’s actually got a crush on Iwaizumi Hajime or if he’s just fooled himself into thinking he does.

He’s replayed the moment so many times he’s not sure how he actually felt then. The sound of the TiMER going off rings in his ears during the most intense silences, and every time he remembers Iwaizumi’s face differently. Sometimes he’s happy, other times he’s sad, other times he looks so pissed, but most of all, Iwaizumi looks like he feels nothing in that moment.

Tooru’s memory is so skewed he’s not even sure if he was happy - or sad or mad or confused or - and when he thinks back to how things were before the TiMER was implanted into Iwaizumi, he finds his feelings are muddled then too.

Did he like Iwaizumi then? Does he like him now? Has he always liked him, and it took a TiMER going off to make him realize it?

It doesn’t help that he’s not sure what Iwaizumi will feel now.

All of Sunday, he avoided his phone. A few times he had to grab it away from his mother or his sister when they got fed up with it ringing the annoying tone of the  _ X-Files _ theme and stop them from answering Iwaizumi’s calls.

He knows he’s a horrible friend for that, but Tooru couldn’t bring himself to talk to his best friend when he didn’t know how he felt about him. Not yet.

This morning was a great example of how he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t even wake up because he never went to sleep. He tossed and turned all night because he couldn’t stop thinking about Iwaizumi - romantically, platonically, hell even as an enemy.

It was easy to imagine Iwaizumi hating him, shockingly enough. And it hurt every time he imagined him hating him for the TiMER.

Tooru’s even tried to Google search for answers on what to do if the TiMER goes off with your best friend’s TiMER and if you can remain just friends.

It unfortunately turned up results of only instances where the friendship ended badly or they immediately fell in love and it was the best thing in the world.

He can’t imagine Iwaizumi falling in love with him. He’s said it enough, Tooru was kind of a horrible person at the worst of times.

But Iwaizumi was also the first person to fight for Tooru’s honor and defend his good attributes… 

“I take it you’re having a hard time,” Matsukawa says then, and Tooru jumps out of his skin.

He stares at the other third year seated in front of him. “You’re not in my class…”

“It’s lunch, genius,” Matsukawa pops the straw into his juice box then, sipping from it while watching Tooru amusedly. “Trouble in paradise with our captain and ace?”

Tooru blanches. “E-excuse me?”

“You and Iwaizumi were pretty weird during practice this morning. Wanna talk about it?”

He hesitates, wonders if they’re trying to keep it on the down-low. But Matsukawa and Hanamaki - wherever Matsukawa’s partner in crime was - were their best friends. Sure, no one would be more of Tooru’s best friend than Iwaizumi, but Matsukawa and Hanamaki were right there in second place in his heart.

Sighing, Tooru rolls his right sleeve up. Matsukawa watches, and his eyes widen at the TiMER’s display. He whistles low, “I saw Iwaizumi had one too… is he…?”

Tooru nods, pulling the sleeve back down. “Got it Saturday.”

“I take it you two haven’t talked about it?”

Tooru shrugs, shifts in his seat. “He tried on the way to school this morning, but…”

“You’re having a hard time figuring out your end, huh?”

Matsukawa was getting way too close to Tooru if he could read him as easily as Iwaizumi, but Tooru wasn’t sure if he should be worried about that or not.

“Oikawa, you need to tell him how you feel,” Matsukawa says, moving to eat the onigiri in his bento.

Tooru drops his head to his desk then, letting the cool surface relieve his face of the heat growing. “Mattsun, I caaaaan’t…” He rolls his head to the side to cool his cheek, bangs falling into his eyes. “I just… I don’t know what I feel anymore…”

“Your family is obsessed with the TiMER being about romance, so therefore you have been conditioned to associate the TiMER with romantic love,” Matsukawa intones, sipping from his juice again. “Whereas Iwaizumi’s family believes in finding and discovering love on their own terms. If you really wanna know if you’ve fallen for our ace, I suggest you do things his way.”

Tooru picks his head up, dropping his chin down onto his arms. “You really think that will help?”

“No, but it’s worth a shot,” Matsukawa replies, shrugging. “Look, you acting down and out without mine or Makki’s help is not fun, so I hope you figure it out soon, captain.”

Tooru realizes he’s finished with his lunch when Matsukawa stands, so he bobs his head on his arms and raises a hand to salute his teammate and friend. “Got it, Mattsun…”

Matsukawa leaves with his empty bento, and Tooru checks the time. There’s still time for him to eat his own bento, but he finds he’s not hungry.

Sighing, he buries his face in his arms.

———

The next few days go in a similar fashion, and Hajime is ready to punch someone when he realizes Oikawa actually is avoiding him - preferably Oikawa himself. At least, he is in Hajime’s eyes - to others, Oikawa is acting just as normally as before.

Hanamaki had come around during lunch on Monday to ask him what was going on between him and Oikawa and he didn’t want to feel guilty lying to his fellow wing spiker. So Hajime told him about the TiMER and Hanamaki laughed so hard Hajime wasn’t sure if he was actually laughing at the fact that Hajime got a TiMER or if he was laughing at the situation Hajime was in.

After he got over his laughing fit, Hanamaki had apologised and turned on real friend mode to talk Hajime through it. But Hajime found there was nothing wrong on his end, it was all Oikawa - and what that entailed, Hajime wasn’t exactly sure.

Hajime had agreed with Hanamaki that he was going to have to make Oikawa talk to him about it, but the TiMER was always such a sensitive topic that Hajime wasn’t sure he wanted to force Oikawa to do anything.

Growling, he slams the locker shut and is ready to go into practice to spike a few volleyballs when he hears the voices. Hajime had thought no one else was in the club room still, especially after Oikawa barrelled out yelling about how important this practice was - it wasn’t, but everyone was convinced he was acting normally so Hajime couldn’t get anyone to believe he was actually running from him.

He moves cautiously, looking around the lockers to find the source.

“Look, do whatever you want, but if you want to play real volleyball for once you need to come to practice again,” Yahaba said, hands on his hips as he stood over whoever was sitting on the bench next to him.

Kyoutani stood up then, and Hajime wants to say he’s surprised but knows he’s not. “Whether I come back or not doesn’t matter, and you know it. Oikawa’s an asshole and he’ll never get the coaches to let me play.”

“Not with that attitude, he won’t,” Yahaba shakes his head, reaching forward to touch his shoulder. “Ken, please—”

“ _ Don’t _ !” Kyoutani smacks his hand away. “Not here!”

Hajime feels his face warm, and he feels like he’s intruding on something so he turns and quietly leaves the room.

He pauses just outside, wondering at that. Kyoutani said Yahaba had become important to him after the TiMER went off, but he didn’t have feelings for Yahaba the way everyone else said he should. Hajime feels a kinship with his kouhai then, wonders if Kyoutani still feels that way or if anything has changed for him.

Hajime wonders if anything will change on his end, or if he’ll only ever look at Oikawa and feel a fondness he can only describe as friendship - as brotherhood.

Shaking, Hajime moves to a deserted staircase and sits down. He can already try to guess what Oikawa’s problem is, and it scares him more than anything.

If Oikawa was struggling with his feelings for Hajime - if Oikawa was actually letting himself fall in love with Hajime, what then? Would Hajime have it in him to try to reciprocate? Would he have to eventually break the heart of the one person who knew everything about him?

Hajime couldn’t think about it like that. Couldn’t think of a heartbroken Oikawa Tooru - couldn’t think of it and know it was his fault.

But he also couldn’t see himself falling in love with another man. He couldn’t see himself looking at Oikawa and wanting to kiss his stupid face, wanting to do more than sling an arm around him or raise a hand for a high five.

It actually made him uncomfortable to think about. Oikawa’s body has been bare before him in the changing room, and being childhood friends they’d taken a few baths together in their youth. He’s seen him naked, but Hajime isn’t sure he wants to see Oikawa  _ naked _ , isn’t sure he’d ever want to touch someone who wasn’t soft, with delicate curves and smooth skin. Oikawa most certainly wouldn’t be soft - his musculature would be all hard angles, and he’d have patches of hair where Hajime would rather feel soft skin.

Oikawa is taller than him. Oikawa is masculine. Oikawa has a rough outline and long fingers and short, fluffy hair.

Oikawa is a man, and Hajime has only ever kissed girls - girls who didn’t have TiMERs yet either, who broke his heart when they eventually did and found Hajime was not their one.

It wasn’t hard, being heartbroken by girls he didn’t know very well. But if he escalated that pain tenfold, and compared it to how he’d feel if Oikawa left him for dead…

That’s how Hajime will make Oikawa feel, when Oikawa finally decides he loves Hajime and Hajime has already come to the conclusion that it’s impossible for him to love Oikawa in that way.


	6. Chapter Five

Tooru clenches his fist in the pocket of his jacket, licks his lips and hopes he doesn’t look nervous.

It was Friday, exactly one week since he’d convinced Iwaizumi to get the TiMER, nearly a week of thinking about it and he’s sure he’s ready to talk to Iwaizumi now. He just hopes Iwaizumi still wants to talk about it.

He stands outside the Iwaizumi household, kicking a few pebbles away here and there, mostly so he can stare at his feet and not the door he’s waiting for Iwaizumi to walk out of. Iwaizumi’s mother waved as she drove past a few minutes before on her way to work, and Tooru had put on his best smile for her. He never brought himself to ask if Iwaizumi told his family about the TiMER, but he knows Iwaizumi knows his own family… knows.

That is a lot of knowing going on without actual talking.

Tooru takes a deep breath, unclenches his fist and tightens his jaw. He swallows, looking to the sky. There were some clouds, but Tooru couldn’t remember if the weather report said it would rain today or not. He hopes not, Tooru wasn’t fond of rain most days.

The door slamming shut alerts him to Iwaizumi, but Tooru can’t tear his eyes away from the clouds. He’s so scared Iwaizumi will look at him and just  _ know _ , and he can’t let that happen.

“Morning,” Iwaizumi grumbles, stifling a yawn. Tooru nods and they start to walk in silence.

It’s almost like it used to be, only it’s not. Tooru can feel the shift. He feels how anxious he is and how tense his body is. Tooru can’t let his hands out of his pockets, knows that if he lets his hand hang, it’ll bump against Iwaizumi’s and he’ll be tempted.

So instead he walks as casually as he can - which is funny, because he doesn’t know what casual walking is so he’s probably walking suspiciously instead - and keeps his jaw clenched and wiggles his hands inside his pockets a little bit. Man, he is just so nervous…

“You okay…?”

Damn it, he noticed. Of course he did, he’s Tooru’s best friend -  _ best friend and soulmate and the only person who knows him better than anyone. _

“My mom asked again,” he starts, trying not to make any weird movements as he tries to loosen up, “if you’re coming to dinner tonight?”

Iwaizumi huffs out a breath and Tooru wonders if he’s laughing or feeling relieved about something. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

“She’s making your favorite.”

“I’ll text my mom, one second,” Iwaizumi says simply, and Tooru wants to know how he’s so casual about all this. He tries not to watch the movements, tries to focus on the road ahead, but he can’t help it. Iwaizumi has such nice hands…

Tooru mentally smacks himself, makes himself look forward again. This crush was getting out of hand!

Iwaizumi nods to himself, tucks his phone away. “She’ll answer me once she’s at work, but I’m sure it’s no big deal. You gonna text yours?”

Tooru shrugs, rotates his head a bit to get the kinks in his neck from being so stiff. “I’ll text her after practice or something…”

He’d already told her Iwaizumi would be coming, because he’d been too hopeful and was putting himself up for disappointment. Luckily, Iwaizumi didn’t bring it, and instead brought a lot of hopes up.

“After dinner, do you wanna…” Tooru takes a deep breath, swallows thickly. “Do you wanna talk about… it?”

Iwaizumi’s looking at him, and Tooru’s trying his best not to look back. “About time, idiot.” There’s a thump on his back, and he knows it’s Iwaizumi’s nonverbal command of calming down. “Yeah, we need to talk.”

Tooru nods, tries to smile, isn’t able to even force a fake one. There’s dread in the pit of his stomach.

They make it to the school and immediately head to the club room. Tooru tries not to look at anyone, just quickly gets changed to be able to launch himself into volleyball, the one thing to distract him from what was to come.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out that way. He’s so distracted by Iwaizumi’s legs - his  _ fucking legs _ \- that he isn’t able to set properly. Tooru has seen Iwaizumi’s legs hundreds of times and not once did he ever get distracted by them! They weren’t even that good looking, what with the way they flexed every time Iwaizumi jumped for a spike, and moved so smoothly under him as he ran, and led to the perfect shape of his—

Tooru needed to get some water. On the other side of the gym. Far away from Iwaizumi.

He pauses halfway across the court next to Yahaba, gives him a look and decides something then. “Yahaba, go practice setting with Iwa-chan. Maybe it will help with your form.”

Yahaba looks surprised. “Oikawa-senpai, you’re not… ditching him in practice, are you?”

Tooru pulls the fakest smile he can, “of course not! Just thought you could use some practice.”

Yahaba gives him a look, an eyebrow raised. “Sure, whatever you say…”

With Yahaba distracting Iwaizumi, Tooru knew he’d be able to avoid him on the other side of the gym and not raise suspicion.

That didn’t mean he’d gotten away from everyone though, and Matsukawa and Hanamaki suddenly looming over him put him on edge.

“Did you figure it out?”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

Tooru glares at them. “I don’t have to answer that.”

He marches away, grabbing a ball and getting ready for an intense spiking practice. Far away from Iwaizumi and his nice legs.

———

Hajime’s actually kind of nervous. Oikawa had been acting weird all day, even if that had become the norm since his birthday a week ago, and it was giving him some crazy anxiety issues.

When Hanamaki asked him what was Oikawa’s problem, he had no idea how to answer. When Matsukawa followed it up with a question on any development between them, Hajime told them about the dinner he was going to. They both patted him sadly and wished him luck.

He’s eaten dinner with the Oikawa’s many times before. He’d even been there for the first dinner Chiyo had with the family when she first became Souta’s girlfriend. But it was different now.

Hajime was Tooru’s soulmate, and the Oikawa’s believed in romance blossoming after the TiMER went off.

He raked his fingers through his hair, wondering if he looked okay. He wasn’t sure why he cared, he hadn’t before, but somehow he knew this dinner was more than just a dinner.

He just wasn’t sure how he was going to tell the Oikawa’s he had no interest in loving Tooru beyond friendship.

Oikawa poked his head into his room then. “Iwa-chan, we gotta go!” He pauses, looking Hajime up and down. Hajime had put on a red button down and the only good pair of jeans he owned. “You look…”

“Like I’m going to meet my girlfriend’s parents?” Hajime rolls his eyes, doesn’t register Oikawa’s frown until it was too late. “Sorry…”

“No, it’s kind of appropriate. I’m not your girlfriend, just,” Oikawa pauses, glances down at his feet. “Just your best friend and soulmate.”

Hajime nods, moving to leave his room. He doesn’t want to talk about it here, not when Oikawa’s mother was expecting them for dinner. “We should go.”

“Yeah…”

The walk to the Oikawa household was quick, as they only lived a block and a half down the road. It was however a very silent walk, and Hajime couldn’t say for sure, but he had a feeling Oikawa needed it to be.

He notices it then when Oikawa steps up the stairs to the front door. “You’re limping.”

“No I’m not, it barely hurts,” Oikawa retorts, and Hajime grabs him, pulls him from the stairs. He’s not looking at Hajime. “It really doesn’t hurt, I just need to sit down for the night…”

Hajime glares. “Why didn’t you say you hurt yourself?” He shakes his head. “ _ When _ did you hurt yourself?”

Oikawa shrugs. “During morning practice, I guess.”

“You’ve been hurt all day?” Hajime snaps, and he wants so badly to punch Oikawa but he can’t do it. Not when his family was waiting for them on the other side of the door.

Again Oikawa shrugs and finally looks at Hajime. “It didn’t hurt until I climbed the stairs at your place. It’s okay, Iwa-chan, really. I’ll be fine.”

He’s so sincere it hurts, so Hajime sighs and gestures towards Oikawa’s house. “Let’s get inside…”

They walk inside, and immediately are greeted by Takeru tackling them both. “Hajime-san, you need to come back to Lil’ Tykes with Tooru!”

Hajime grins down at Takeru, rubbing his hand on his shaved head. “Hey Takeru! I’ve been busy, but I’ll try next week!”

“Oh, Takeru, let them through the foyer!” Chiyo calls from down the hall, having spotted the new arrivals.

Takeru pouts and moves away, letting the two older boys remove their shoes. “What makes you so busy?”

“Well, school for one thing. But also my sister - my mom wants me to watch her still even though she’s nearly twelve.” Hajime shrugs, putting his shoes against the wall politely. Tooru moves to do the same before looking at him. “Going to go change?”

Tooru shrugs, “don’t wanna sit in my uniform forever.”

He watches Tooru run up the stairs, his limp barely noticeable but still worrisome. Hajime frowns after him, but Takeru grabs hold of his hand and pulls him to the living room where Tooru’s father and brother were sitting. Souta smiles up at Hajime from his seat on the couch, gestures for him to sit beside him. Hajime smiles back, happy to see them both dressed well but not too well - he feels he fits in well enough now.

“Takeru, stop pulling on Hajime,” Souta lectures, patting his son on the head. “How have you been? It’s been a while.”

Hajime nods a bit, not sure what to say. “I’ve been okay, keeping busy with school and volleyball.”

Souta laughs and agrees, saying Tooru was much the same way, but that he’d heard he was having trouble in English. Hajime smiles politely, knows how high the expectations were in the Oikawa family.

Where Souta excelled in academics and went to an amazing university, Hiroko excelled in art and took her talent to an art program in Tokyo. She visited frequently, and Hajime wondered where she got the funds to travel between Miyagi and Tokyo so often. Tooru, on the other hand, excelled athletically.

Brains, artistic talent, and athletics. The Oikawa siblings were a trifecta of the perfect set of children, and Hajime wondered if other families looked at them with envy. It probably didn’t help that they were all good looking, either. And, to top it off, they were all perfect examples of the product of true love thanks to the TiMER… 

How did he get mixed up with these people?

Tooru came into the room then, and he remembered.

Tooru wasn’t like his siblings in some respects. They both had traveled abroad, Souta to Europe with Chiyo and Hiroko to the United States. Both of them were cultured and extremely intelligent, and their English speaking skills were amazing.

If Hajime sucked at math, Tooru sucked at English.

It was strange how far from the tree Tooru fell. His parents never really cared for athletics as far as Hajime could tell, and when Tooru expressed interest in volleyball, they were willing to get him anything he needed, simply because their youngest had found something that interested him. Sometimes, Hajime grew upset at Tooru’s parents simply because of how they treated his interests compared to Souta’s or Hiroko’s.

To make matters worse, they were slaves to the TiMER. Tooru’s TiMER didn’t have a real countdown, not like his siblings, and while Hiroko’s wasn’t ideal, she was going to meet someone. Tooru’s TiMER however went off only after a non-believer went and got it.

A non-believer who was going to break Tooru’s heart.

Hajime felt his heart in his throat then, watching Tooru bounce into place beside Takeru on the couch, smile over at Hajime and look to his father when he said something.

He couldn’t hear then, the pounding of his heart deafening. Tooru was giving him a look then, and Hajime wondered if someone had said something and he missed it.

Taking a deep breath, he looked over at Tooru’s father. Suddenly, his ears cleared and he could hear again. “Are you alright, Hajime?”

“Yeah, I just… got lost in thought,” Hajime finished lamely, taking another deep breath.

“Dad can be pretty intimidating sometimes,” Hiroko calls out from the dining room, poking her head around the corner to grin at her father. The Oikawa brothers laughed, and their father simply shrugged in resignation. Takeru is staring up at him, and his expression looks very confused. Hajime wonders what his own face looks like.

God, the whole Oikawa clan is here and he was going to break Tooru’s heart…

Before he can fall into a panic, Tooru’s mother appeared, smiling out at them all. “Well, dinner is ready if you’d all like to join us.” She looks directly at Hajime then, and her smile softens to one of kindness.

Hajime feels his stomach drop at her gaze.

———

Tooru isn’t sure if Iwaizumi is breathing right, but no one else seems worried. Actually, everyone is being awkward and their awkwardness is calming him down a lot.

At least they already  _ know _ his soulmate. It was super awkward when Chiyo first came to dinner.

He’s not sure what to do about Iwaizumi though, and he’s pretty sure if he did try to calm his best friend down, it would just make it worse. But Tooru wants so badly to reach over, pat his knee under the table, hold his hand,  _ do something _ because soon enough Iwaizumi might pass out from lack of oxygen.

So he knocks his fork and Iwaizumi’s in one swift, totally smooth motion under the table.

“Oh, Tooru, so clumsy!” His mother laughs, and he wonders if she knows what Tooru is doing. Iwaizumi gives him a look, but follows him under the table to find their forks. Distantly, he hears his mother say she’ll grab some more forks for them.

Iwaizumi grabs his fork and is about to go back to his seat, but Tooru grabs his arm. He looks at Tooru then, confusion evident.

“Breathe, Iwa-chan,” Tooru whispers, his family continuing the conversation above the table. Iwaizumi’s arm relaxes, and he nods at Tooru. Tooru smiles at him, and he knows when Iwaizumi relaxes more that it looked far more real than it had all day.

They’re back in their seats, and Takeru is side-eyeing them so hard. Tooru sticks his tongue out at him, effectively making his nephew grin. Takeru wouldn’t question anything, and his father was drawn into the conversation Souta was leading so they didn’t notice.

Chiyo and Hiroko grin to themselves, but he knows that Chiyo will keep his sister from saying anything that might cause Iwaizumi to freak out again.

His mother returns with the new forks and she takes the two they recovered from under the table.

“So, Hajime,” his father starts then, Souta’s story apparently over. “What made you get the TiMER so suddenly?”

Tooru worries that he’ll start to panic again and watches Iwaizumi closely. But he looks calm and seems to consider the question.

“Well, Tooru kind of helped with the decision,” Iwaizumi admits, and Tooru feels his face heat at the use of his given name. “He told me that it was possible I was leaving someone out there waiting for their TiMER to start like he was, and that if I was worried about not really falling in love with whoever it was, that I could make the choice myself.” Iwaizumi looks at him then, a twitch at the corner of his mouth suggesting an attempt at a smile. “He was right; I was leaving someone waiting, we just didn’t realize it was him.”

Tooru feels his breath leave his chest then, staring at his best friend in awe. Was it possible that Iwaizumi was saying he… no, he was just admitting that Tooru was right about someone being left waiting. ‘Don’t read into it, Tooru…’ he thinks, feeling a little disappointment seep in.

Hiroko hums then, gaining Iwaizumi’s attention. “So then, what are you going to do about Tooru being your soulmate?”

Iwaizumi hesitates. Tooru holds his breath, wondering the same thing but knowing his answer won’t come until later that night. “Uh…” Iwaizumi’s face flushes from the attention, “we were… going to talk about things… later.”

Tooru looks to his plate, suddenly not hungry. He wanted to take Iwaizumi to his room right then to continue this conversation in private, without his family watching.

His mother is the one to break the silence, “well!” She claps, and looks at Tooru’s siblings. He can tell she’s trying to silently tell them to leave Iwaizumi be. “I guess that’s something for later! Who wants dessert?”

Tooru isn’t sure he could eat anything else, no matter how big of a sweet tooth he had.

The dinner finally ends a bit later when Takeru is yawning but claiming he isn’t tired. Hiroko admits she has work she needs to complete and Souta offers to drive her to the train station to catch the last train of the night. Tooru’s mother gives him a look after he’s said goodbye to his siblings and Iwaizumi has been hugged goodbye by them, and he takes that as a que to take Iwaizumi up to his room to talk.

He can tell Iwaizumi is watching him climb the stairs but Tooru isn’t going to complain. It’s sweet when he cares sometimes, and right now he needs to know Iwaizumi does.

Iwaizumi shuts the door behind himself and Tooru is grateful when he slumps down into his chair. Iwaizumi follows and sits on the bed, folding his hands together.

“So…”

Tooru looks at him, wonders what will happen next. “So…”

Iwaizumi shrugs, glances over before turning his gaze to the floor. “Tooru, what are we doing about this?”

He shifts in the chair, trying to keep the pressure off his ankle. “I don’t know, Iwa-chan…”

“What do you want to do?”

Tooru can think of a million things he’d like to do, but there was no way in hell Iwaizumi would agree to them. So he settles on the most hopeful; “I want to…” It sounds stupid, so he pauses, thinks about how to word it. “I want to figure it out… on your terms.”

Iwaizumi looks back at him then. “What do you mean?”

“I guess I mean we should… try…?”

They’re looking at each other and Tooru doesn’t like the way Iwaizumi’s face is so blank then.

“Try to what?” Tooru hesitates. “Do you mean… you want to try to fall in love?”

He nearly explodes with anxiety. “I know, it sounds stupid! Ha, what was I thinking?”   


The pressure behind his eyes is building up by the second and he can’t look at Iwaizumi. Tooru figures it was an impossible thing to ask, and he finally turns his gaze down to his hands, clenched tightly together in his lap.

Iwaizumi’s moving over to him and his hands are grabbing his then. “Hey, Tooru, calm down!” He looks up into Iwaizumi’s eyes, and  _ gosh _ they are such a beautiful shade of green sometimes. “I didn’t say it was stupid, just…”

Tooru isn’t sure what Iwaizumi is hesitating to say. “Just what? Impossible? Crazy? Not on the table?”

“Not… what I had in mind…” Iwaizumi squats in front of him, removing one of his warm hands from Tooru’s to scratch at his hair. Tooru feels his heart fall a bit at that. “I guess… I didn’t think you’d want to just try.”

What Tooru doesn’t say is that he’s been falling, hard, all week. What he doesn’t say is that he might have always had feelings or that he wasn’t sure if the feelings were real. What he wants to say is that he can imagine it, can imagine pressing into Iwaizumi’s warmth and holding him close. He can see it now, himself kissing Iwaizumi, but…

Iwaizumi probably hasn’t thought about it. Hasn’t entertained the thought of being with Tooru. So he hesitates, thinks of what to say.

“You want to find love on your own terms,” he starts. “Well… what if we just… tried?”

Iwaizumi is hesitating now. “You think if I just—just what? Treat you like a… a boyfriend, I’ll fall in love with you?”

Tooru shrugs. “You can’t love without starting somewhere, right? Before the TiMER, people must of just dated and fallen in love in the process, right?”

He can tell Iwaizumi is really thinking about it, especially when he takes his other hand away and starts scraping at his skull. Tooru’s seen him do it before when he was frustrated about his serves. He hopes this time, Iwaizumi is just thinking about things really hard and isn’t frustrated at the suggestion.

Iwaizumi stands from his squatting then, moves to pace Tooru’s bedroom. “Tooru, I… I don’t…” Tooru’s heart is going through so many aerobics today, jumping between his throat and his stomach so quickly and frequently. “I’m scared that it won’t work,” Iwaizumi whispers then, his back to Tooru.

He stands then, knocking his chair back into the computer. “Iwa-chan, it’s okay!” He grabs him by the shoulders, makes him turn around. “I—I just want us to figure it out! And if the answer is love, why not try?”

Iwaizumi’s eyes are darting between his then, searching for an answer in Tooru’s eyes. He gulps and looks to the floor then. “I…” He sighs, shakes his head. “Yeah, okay, why not?”

Tooru can’t believe what he just heard. “Come again?”

“We’ll do a trial run of dating. Treat each other like… like boyfriends and maybe,” Iwaizumi shrugs, “maybe we’ll fall in love with each other.”

Tooru’s heart is leaping, bouncing around in his rib cage and his stomach is doing flips and he’s pretty sure he’ll throw up with how it’s churning. “Okay… okay yeah…”

He can’t stop himself; Tooru surges forward, hugging Iwaizumi close. Iwaizumi freezes, but he only takes a second to react, moving his arms around Tooru to return the embrace. Tooru figures if they’re going to try their hand at dating, then embraces would be normal, right?

They finally pull away, Iwaizumi’s hands on his shoulders. Tooru enjoys the weight there, feels his stomach flip again and swallows down any bile from his nerves. “I gotta go home… I’ll… see you tomorrow?”

Tooru nods, biting his lip. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Iwaizumi slowly backs away, staring at Tooru with an unreadable expression. Finally he turns and leaves through his door, closing it behind himself.

Tooru breathes out then, not realizing how much pressure was on his lungs from holding his breath. He isn’t even sure when he started holding his breath. A soft piano is playing behind him and he turns around, notices that his chair knocked something into pushing play on his music.

Moving to the computer, he sits and checks what playlist was on. He thinks about the last time he played music and realizes it’s from when Iwaizumi was there last week to study, and Tooru had clicked a random playlist without looking.

It’s still open, and his breath catches for the hundredth time that day. It was a South Korean pianist, according to the info, but it was the titles that caught Tooru’s attention.

_ Artist: Yiruma, Album: First Love, Song: Love Me. _

He wanted to cry then, and he wasn’t sure why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Call back to the music in chapter two when they were talking about love and the TiMER.)


	7. Chapter Six

Tooru spent the next few days contemplating how he felt while edging himself closer to Iwaizumi. By the end of the first week, he’d reached a point where it felt natural to reach for Iwaizumi’s hand, but it seemed it wasn’t doing the same for his friend - Iwaizumi would pull away after a few minutes and wipe his hand on his pants, saying something about sweat. Tooru tried not to feel hurt, would accept it in the moment because, yeah, Iwaizumi’s hands were really sweaty, but later whenever he’d think back to it, it stung.

It was like they were trying but Tooru was the only one  _ really trying. _

He didn’t want to say anything in case Iwaizumi was just super nervous. They’d both dated before - Tooru’s longest girlfriend was two weeks while Iwaizumi’s had been nearly two months. If anyone had experience, it was Iwaizumi, but what Tooru knew was that wasn’t quite true either. Tooru dated more girls than Iwaizumi ever had - seven to three, in fact - and was probably more adept at getting into the swing of things at the start.

So he waited, and patiently hoped Iwaizumi would stop holding back with him. He just wished that also meant Iwaizumi would go to Lil’ Tykes to help out Takeru’s team with him again…

The whistle blew and the children were dismissed, alerting Tooru into looking up from the photos in his phone. Takeru is jogging towards him with a small frown. “You said Hajime would come today…”

Tooru gave a small smile, shaking his head. “I said I would try to get him to come help out today, but we did have practice. Sorry, Takeru.”

Takeru huffs, bending to pull out his water bottle from his bag when a text comes in from Iwaizumi. Grinning, Tooru opens the message quickly to see what he’s saying.

**from Iwa-chan❤  
** [17:06] Want to watch a movie later?

Tooru bites his lip, looking down at his nephew. Takeru is adjusting the contents of his bag, and Tooru wonders how long he’ll need to watch him tonight.

**to Iwa-chan❤  
** [17:07] I have Takeru right now, when’s later?

“Who’re you talking to?” Takeru asks then, peering over Tooru’s hands to see. “Oh, tell Hajime I said hi!”

Tooru blushes and sends the quick text at his nephew’s request. Just as he sends it, a new text has come in.

**from Iwa-chan❤  
** [17:08] Whenever you can, I guess…  
[17:08] Hi Takeru :) sorry about today!

“He says hi back, and apologises for not coming,” Tooru tells Takeru, and the kid seems content with that answer. He texts Iwaizumi back about letting him know, and sends a few ridiculous emojis.

“Are you seeing him later?” Takeru asks, watching as Tooru stares in excitement waiting for the next text. When Tooru doesn’t respond, Takeru sighs and starts to walk away.

Noticing, Tooru takes off after him, pocketing his phone to give Takeru some attention. “You played well today!” Other kids are scattering out of the building, some almost running into him. Tooru doesn’t mind, seeing as he’s a pretty great uncle to Takeru and all.

“Tooru! You should teach me to serve!” Takeru decides then, jumping up and down. Tooru side steps a kid, sees someone taller in the crowd but focuses on his nephew.

Tooru scoffs, “How about you stick a suffix back in there?” He shakes his head, patting Takeru’s head affectionately.

That person is in front of him now, staring and Tooru feels the creepy atmosphere. He glances up then, and finds Kageyama staring in shock at him. He stops dead, and they both make a noise in surprise.

“Oikawa-san...”

“Tobio-chan?!”

They stare at each other a moment, and Takeru is looking between them in confusion. 

Kageyama gathers himself faster, “O-Oikawa-san, what are you doing here…?”

Tooru feels the vibration of his phone in his pocket and knows it’s from Iwaizumi, so he relaxes a bit. “Looking after my nephew,” he gestures to Takeru, who greets Kageyama casually.

Kageyama looks between them, nodding back to Takeru in an attempt to be polite, but it’s clear he’s still shocked to run into Tooru here. “What about club activities?”

He doesn’t feel like he needs to respond to this, has more important things to do but he answers anyway about Seijou taking Mondays off every now and then. The vibrations in his pocket are making him anxious and he just wants to take out his phone and see what Iwaizumi is saying to him, but he can’t be rude in front of Takeru - his nephew needs a good role model outside of his parents, and it’s hard enough to convince his own mother that he’s responsible.

Kageyama is still asking questions though, and Tooru tries to be quick and polite about it, moving around his former kouhai. He’s saying something else, and Tooru feels a biting and bitter feeling crawl up from his stomach, reminded all too much about junior high.

So he turns and snaps at Kageyama, just like he used to: “Don’t wanna!  _ Stuuupid! _ ”

He can already hear Iwaizumi yelling at him to knock it off.

Kageyama bows then, begging, “Please, please just listen to what I have to say!”

Tooru stares at him, feels the bitter feeling die off. The voice in his head that was yelling before in Iwaizumi’s voice is now telling him to let it be, to not make this worse in front of Takeru. That Iwaizumi is waiting for him.

So he turns away, “Why should I have to listen to my opponent?”   


Takeru is looking up at him as they move to leave, and it’s clear he wants to ask about Kageyama, but he doesn’t get a chance when the little weirdo is in front of them suddenly, still bowing and yelling, “ _ please listen! _ ”

The sight of Kageyama bowing to him is too much to pass up, so Tooru looks him over once more and decides to ignore the Iwaizumi-voice and be cruel for a moment. He hands his phone to Takeru, showing him how to use the camera. Kageyama twitches then, and he tells him to stay put. Taking a deep breath, he goes to stand before Kageyama and looks back to his nephew, throwing a peace sign up. Cheering, he grins at the camera, “A photo of Tobio-chan indebted to Oikawa-san~!”

Takeru takes the picture and gives Tooru a look. “You’re actually happy with this?  _ Lame _ !”

Tooru can already hear his mother scolding him for acting like a child in front of Takeru, but he turns to Kageyama instead. “Well, what is it? I’m an extremely busy guy, you know!”

“Yeah, his boyfriend Hajime wants to watch movies!”

He snaps around to stare at Takeru incredulously, feeling the heat overtake his face. His nephew isn’t looking though, instead he’s engrossed with looking through Tooru’s phone.

“Hajime… you mean Iwaizumi-san?” Kageyama asks, and Tooru whips back around to glare at him too. “Is he your soulmate?”

Tooru hesitates, folds his arms. “And if he is?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Kageyama deadpans and Tooru chokes on air. “Actually, about Iwaizumi-san… er… if a competition were to come up and he started talking about doing something unreasonable—”

“Stop,” Tooru snaps, holding up a hand. “First of all, Iwa-chan would never do that.”

‘How dare he suggest that of my Iwa-chan?!’

“Second, if you want to talk about something, don’t use stupid examples and say it straight.”

Kageyama stares at him then, and Tooru glares right back. Sighing, Kageyama tells him of his plight with the shrimpy number ten - Hinata, apparently - so Tooru listens. It’s the least he can do after taking that photo, after all, he was almost eighteen and  _ completely mature, shut up mom _ .

Tooru wants this conversation to be over though, so he tells Kageyama to just go for it. It would be interesting if Hinata could pull it off, but he also sees this as a chance to impart some knowledge to his former kouhai - a last ditch effort to help Kageyama as his senpai like he never did before.

He leaves when Kageyama doesn’t challenge his response, and Takeru follows after. He thinks of what he had said, about letting Hinata take the initiative and how Kageyama wasn’t the one in charge in the end. It reminds him of Iwaizumi, and how everyone seems to think Tooru is the one making the calls.

No, in this relationship, Iwaizumi makes most of the decisions. Tooru just suggests things along the way.

Takeru hands him his phone and he sees that Takeru was texting Iwaizumi for him.

**to Iwa-chan❤  
** [17:21] Tooru is bullying some guy called Tobio-chan  
[17:21] The guy doesn’t seem to mind though

**from Iwa-chan❤  
** [17:22] Kageyama? What the hell?  
[17:23] Please tell me he’s not being too awful

**to Iwa-chan❤  
** [17:23] He really doesn’t seem to mind  
[17:24] My mom will pick me up around 7, Tooru can hang out then

**from Iwa-chan❤  
** [17:24] Thanks, Takeru :)

Tooru wants to die from embarrassment.

———

**from ☆Tooru☆  
** [19:01] See you in a few (｡ゝڡ◕｡)

Hajime feels his throat dry, wonders what to respond with. It’s been five minutes and the little face is still staring at him. Oikawa has to already be within sight of his house, and Hajime isn’t even sure what he’s doing.

The past few weeks have been… something. Sometimes, Hajime is over the moon with happiness for how close he feels to Oikawa again - it’s almost as if they lost something a long time ago and they were just now finding it again. There were days when Hajime could lose track of time and forget where he is while talking to Oikawa, and sometimes he’ll feel light and wonderful and finding out more about Oikawa when before there didn’t seem to be anything else to find.

But then Oikawa will touch him - not even intentionally, sometimes. He could just bump into Hajime or brush against him for a second, and this pit starts to form in Hajime’s gut. He feels like he has to reach inside himself and pull out whatever it is that’s hurting him and make it go away but when he stops to think about it, it’s  _ Oikawa _ that’s causing it. It has to be, because Hajime can’t stop thinking of that one word.

Boyfriend.

In some ways, it’s an empty word and Oikawa is just as Oikawa always has been. In others, it’s the weight of the stones forming in that pit and Oikawa is someone he’s never met before. He doesn’t know how else to describe it.

He doesn’t want to get to know this other Oikawa, and these rocks in the pit of his stomach might be the disgust he’s feeling with himself whenever Oikawa grabs his hand.

Oikawa’s fingers are long, thin, but the whole hand is large. About the same size as Iwaizumi’s, and he’s not sure where to put his fingers in relation to the long, firm ones of Oikawa. He feels the heat radiating between them and his hand gets wet way too fast holding onto Oikawa’s calloused hand.

But outside of touching him, outside of reaching for Hajime’s hand, Oikawa’s hands are… beautiful, he guesses is the word to use. They appear soft and elegant, but strong when they move to set the volleyball and powerful when Oikawa serves, attached to arms set in pure muscle that he’s worked for. Hajime’s in awe of the strength his friend displays, and to have him touch Hajime so gently, to reach for his hand for anything other than arm wrestling. His strong hands are loose in Hajime’s hold and he isn’t sure he can handle that anymore.

His stomach is twisting around into that pit just thinking of it, and Hajime wonders if he should worry about an actual problem forming in his belly.

Sighing, Hajime stands and rakes his fingers through his hair, pacing the area of his room. A chime from his phone alerts him to a text, and he doesn’t have to check to know it’s Oikawa announcing his arrival.

Hajime jogs down the steps, his mother puttering about in the living room. She doesn’t acknowledge him, and Hajime feels another rock form in the pit at that thought - his mother hasn’t talked to him since the TiMER was revealed to her outside of telling him when food is ready.

He tries not to let it bother him, not in this moment, and goes to open the door. The only person who makes him feel like everything is okay these days is on the other side, and Oikawa’s beaming face relaxes him a little.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” he calls out as Hajime lets him in, and his mother calls a greeting. Hajime doesn’t think about how she doesn’t come to greet him properly, wonders if Oikawa would receive the cold shoulder as well. Most likely, since if Hajime screws up and Oikawa is involved, she treats him like she does Hajime. She always said Oikawa was like a second son to her, afterall.

Kaida, however, races into the foyer and knocks into Oikawa’s waist for a hug. “Tooru-nii, you’re here!”

Oikawa grins and bends to hug her back. “Hey there, Kaida! You’re getting taller!”

She pouts and lets him go. “I’m almost twelve, you know!”

“I know, I know,” Oikawa laughs, and Hajime smiles at their exchange. “Anyway, I’m afraid I have to go study with Hajime, so I’ll have to leave you be.”

Kaida starts to groan and pull on Oikawa, saying something about how they need to play before she gets too old for it. Hajime laughs, but freezes when his mother appears at his side.

“Leave the door open, Hajime,” she warns quietly, not looking up to him. Hajime’s stomach hurts again, watching his mother gather Kaida. “Come on, sweetheart, the boys need to study.”

Hajime watches his mother pull his sister away and feels dizzy from the panic she set in him. He knows he needs to talk to her about this, but she can’t actually believe he went through with the TiMER’s choice to pair him with Oikawa, can she? She even asked him if he was dating Oikawa and he’d been honest. Yes, they were currently acting as boyfriends, but that didn’t mean…

He wasn’t dating Oikawa - not yet, and even the thought of  _ yet _ made him feel sick.

Sometimes, he could feel himself falling for Oikawa. But other times, he could only identify it as brotherly love - he wasn’t sure if he could ever call it romantic like Oikawa was asking.

With his family out of sight, Oikawa moves into his gaze with a look. “So… movie?” He whispers, and Hajime knows he only said studying to keep Kaida away.

Hajime takes a deep breath and nods. Oikawa grins, taking his hand and leading the way to Hajime’s room. The cold shiver of doubt washes through him then, but the warmth of Oikawa’s hand kept him from pulling away immediately.

They make it to his room, and Hajime contemplates following his mother’s orders. Frowning, he thinks of how she hasn’t talked to him about this at all and decides that he doesn’t need to listen to her - acting boyfriends or not, Oikawa was his best friend, he should be able to have some privacy with him while watching a movie. So he shuts the door, moves to his desk to grab the new laptop his grandpa got him for his birthday.

“So what movie are we watching?” Oikawa asks, and Hajime turns to find him sitting in the corner of his bed. They’ve done this before, so Hajime ignores the sinking feeling and moves to sit beside Oikawa, opening the movie selections up.

“There’s a new alien movie I thought you might wanna see,” Hajime mumbles, feeling heat at his neck. Oikawa’s face is flushed, and Hajime follows his sight to the door. He ignores the heat spreading to his face and takes a deep breath, settles in against the wall next to Oikawa and starts the movie.

Oikawa moves away, and Hajime wants to ask what he’s doing, but he gets his answer when Oikawa has gotten up to turn off the lights. He jumps back onto Hajime’s bed with a huge smile. “Movies are better in the dark, Iwa-chan!”

Hajime tries not to think about Oikawa next to him, knows that they’ve sat here like this before, in both their rooms, and does his best to watch the movie instead of feel Oikawa move closer to him.

They’re barely half way when Oikawa’s head droops to his shoulder, and Hajime feels the pit return far too quickly. He wants to shove Oikawa off, but the tickle of his hair reminds him of his last girlfriend. Without thinking, he shifts slightly to bring his hand up awkwardly, gently pushing his fingers into Oikawa’s hair.

He really does have soft hair, much like a girl’s. It’s probably the one thing Oikawa has in common with girls - though Hajime’s own mess of hair probably wasn’t the best go to example of how boy’s hair should feel.

Oikawa hums at the feeling though, and Hajime feels the sound move through him. It’s pleasant sounding, so he moves his fingers to gently scrape at Oikawa’s scalp - he liked it when his mother would do this when he was a kid, so he tries to imitate the motions. Oikawa hums in appreciation again, and Hajime feels him press against his side to get more comfortable. Eventually, Oikawa just pushes the laptop away and lays his head down, setting the laptop on the bed. Hajime doesn’t mind, his arm was starting to hurt in that position, and he can still see the movie.

But he’s watching Oikawa instead.

The colors from the screen played across Oikawa’s face in an interesting way, setting a glow into his cheeks that gave his whole face a soft roundness. Hajime stares, watching the way Oikawa smiled dumbly at the cheesy jokes in the movie and and how his eyes would fall close in content when Hajime moved his fingers again through the soft, fluffy locks of his hair.

Eventually, Oikawa notices Hajime staring and his eyes move to look back. The dopey grin on his face is so sincere Hajime feels his heart race, and he snaps his attention back to the movie.

By this point though, he can’t follow the story anymore. He has no idea what’s happening, but Oikawa’s into it apparently, so he doesn’t say anything.

Oikawa’s eyes were lit by the screen, that’s the only reason they sparkled like that. And the red in his cheeks was from the movie, never mind the scene was in blue and purple hues of night. Hajime’s face felt all too warm and before he knew it, he was thinking of the unthinkable.

Oikawa’s lips had looked so soft.

Hajime pulls his hand away suddenly, a rush of cold falling through his every being - even where Oikawa’s warmth was beside him - and the pit grew three times in size. The amount of rocks of  _ disgust _ grew in the pit, and he felt far too heavy.

There’s some hesitation from Oikawa then, but Hajime eventually feels him move to sit up. “Sorry, I was probably heavy,” he mumbles under the action on the screen, and Hajime hums.

“It’s okay, I just felt way too warm.”

And he had, before the cold dread seeped in.

They finish out the movie, but Hajime felt lost the rest of the way, especially since he wasn’t even trying to pay attention. He’d gone and done it, hadn’t he? He couldn’t look at Oikawa, knew that his best friend was probably feeling some kind of terrible emotion because of him.

Hajime just hoped it wasn’t heartbreak already.

The credits rolled and Oikawa clears his throat. “Well, it’s getting late… morning practice and all…”

He turns to look at Oikawa, can’t see his face in the dark that well, even with the little light coming from the black backdrop of the credits. “I’m sorry.”

Oikawa looks up at him, a small, completely fake - ‘I hate it when you fake them, damnit,’ - smile on his lips. “It’s okay, I’m not mad.”

‘No, but you’re sad,’ Hajime thinks, and he wants to do something, but the twisting pile in his gut is telling him not to.

“I should go home,” Oikawa decides, scooting to the edge of the bed to stand. “Thanks for thinking of me, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime hesitates, watches Oikawa move towards the door. “W-wait…” Oikawa stops, turns back to watch Hajime stand. He’s not sure what he’s going to do, but he definitely doesn’t expect himself to reach out and pull Oikawa into a hug. “I’m trying, Tooru.”

Oikawa shakes then. “Don’t force yourself,” he whispers, pushing away. Without looking at Hajime, Oikawa leaves through the door.

Hajime doesn’t stop him.


	8. Chapter Seven

Hajime stops on the stairs, peeking around the wall to look into the kitchen without her noticing. His father and sister left to spend the evening together for some father-daughter bonding, and that left Hajime home alone with his mother. She stands in the kitchen now, rolling dough out for a pie. She doesn’t usually bake - Hajime’s seen her do it only for special occasions like holidays or their birthdays. The other times were only when his mother had a lot on her mind and she needed to do something with specific instructions in order to focus on something else.

He chews on his lip, wonders if now is the best time to talk with her. Just as he moves to turn back up the stairs and to his bedroom, he hears her sigh. “Hajime, now would be the best time to say something to me.”

Hajime winces, wonders how long she knew he’d been standing there. Slowly, he moves down the rest of the stairs and goes into the kitchen, unable to look anywhere but his feet as they shuffle forward.

“Well?” She asks, tone soft but her voice sad. Hajime doesn’t know where to begin, and the pressure in his nose is building. “Hajime, please look at me.”

He turns his gaze up to her, sees the sadness in her eyes and knows he caused it. “I’m sorry, momma…”

His mother clicks her tongue and reaches out for him. “Come here, baby,” and Hajime doesn’t hesitate, he practically latches onto his mother and hugs her, feeling like a child again as she holds him close. He’s taller than her now, but he feels so small as she rubs at his back and coos at him. “It’s okay, I just need to hear it from you,” she whispers, and Hajime ducks his head down into her shoulder so she can pet his hair.

It’d been three days since Oikawa had come by and while Hajime tried to bring them back to where they were before he screwed up, Oikawa hadn’t taken his hand since. Hajime felt lost, and in that time his mother had grown completely silent with him. His father was starting to notice, and Kaida had snuck into his room to ask why their mother was mad at him last night. Hajime had never felt so isolated from two of the most important people to him, and it’s all because of this messed up situation he’s put himself in with his best friend.

“I-I’m not dating Tooru, momma,” he whimpers, the pressure building much faster than he thought it would. “He wants me to, but I-I can’t do it…”

She hushes him, scratching at his head. “It’s okay Hajime, you can’t force love.”

“But he hates me now,” Hajime cries, and that’s all he needs to say as he breaks. His mother starts to rock when the tears spill from his eyes. “I can’t get him to look at me, and he keeps pretending everything is okay but it’s not and I don’t know what to do…!”

“It’ll be okay, baby, Tooru can’t hate you,” she kisses his head and he’s so happy she’s listening, that she’s willing to talk to him again. “No one could ever hate you.”

“You were mad at me,” he sobs, and tightens his hold so she doesn’t pull away. “I’m sorry momma, I didn’t mean to make you mad,” Hajime sniffles, shaking as she rubs his back.

His mother is shaking her head though. “Oh Hajime, I wasn’t mad at you,” but Hajime can’t believe that and he sobs again. “I was a little disappointed but I was never mad. I just wanted you to find love on your terms and you… you got the TiMER, I didn’t know what to do.”

Hajime sniffles and pulls back to look down at her. “Mom, I… I just,” he shrugs, and he goes to wipe his tears away, but she’s already reaching up with a tissue he didn’t see her grab as they hugged. “Tooru made me realize someone was probably out there waiting for me and feeling like he was… that someone probably felt unwanted with their TiMER flashing at them and it was all my fault.”

She shakes her head again, “I understand that, and you probably felt awful when you found out he was right.” His mother had a knack for pinpointing his exact feelings sometimes and Hajime felt like sobbing again. “But Hajime, you can’t force yourself to love Tooru.”

“I wasn’t trying to…!” He pauses, takes the new tissue she offers to blow his nose. “Mom, I just… Tooru is important to me, and I thought if I treated him like a—a boyfriend I could fall in love, but…”

“You can’t treat someone different just so you can fall in love, Hajime,” she whispers to him, and Hajime sniffles again. “You don’t get to decide who you fall in love with, it just happens.”

Hajime nods, wrinkles his nose. “But if the TiMER is so perfect, why can’t I fall in love with him?”

She smiles, “you are in love with him - just not… romantically.”

He considers this, decides that she must be right, and sighs. “I can’t figure out how to get him to forgive me.”

“He will,” she decides, cupping his cheek. “Tooru loves you too, he’s just confused about what kind of love.”

‘What if he’s not?’ Hajime thinks, but he nods his head. “I’m sorry for getting the TiMER, mom.”

“I know, baby,” she replies, and she pulls him forward into a hug again. “You’ll find your own love, I know you will.”

Hajime bobs his head beside hers, unable to agree verbally. He doesn’t tell her about how Oikawa ignoring him has made him feel ice cold, or about how he actually misses the warmth of Oikawa’s hand in his during their walk to school.

He doesn’t tell her about how he broke Oikawa’s heart already, and that in the process, deep down, he thinks he broke his own as well.

———

Tooru wasn’t above avoiding issues. At least, he didn’t like to jump into his problems unless he had a set plan. Unfortunately, right now he did not have a plan on how to deal with falling in love with his best friend - who clearly didn’t love him back.

So he wouldn’t say he was avoiding Iwaizumi himself, more like he was avoiding their little problem. And now that they’d reached Friday, Tooru wasn’t sure how to continue acting like everything was okay after what happened Monday night. So he’d decided to forgo that morning by walking straight past the Iwaizumi household.

It felt odd, to be walking this path alone and in complete silence. Sure, there were birds and some sounds of the neighborhood waking up to start their day, but Tooru had never felt so suffocated in silence until now.

He tells himself it would have been worse with Iwaizumi walking quietly beside him.

Tooru was always awake earlier than Iwaizumi, or at least that’s what it seemed. And while Tooru definitely fell asleep later, his insomnia kept him from sleeping too long and he would always be up way earlier than planned. That gave him time to stop by the Iwaizumi residence and pick up his best friend so they could walk together, and he always made it at least five minutes before Iwaizumi would walk out to greet him.

They never made plans before, it always just sort of happened. So Tooru tells himself that Iwaizumi wouldn’t miss him this morning and kept walking by himself.

He tried to whistle, keep himself from dying in the silence of being alone. Unfortunately, he found his whistling was barely a real tune, let alone nice sounding, and so he gave up. Briefly, he thought about humming to himself. He decided not to, figured it would just sound hollow.

Tooru sighs, coming to a stop. He didn’t want to avoid Iwaizumi; they were best friends and being soulmates didn’t change anything.

Except that it really did.

He was trying to tell himself it wasn’t, that Iwaizumi would always be his best friend. But after the last month of holding his hand and falling more and more in love with Iwaizumi, Tooru couldn’t think back to what it was like to just see Iwaizumi as a friend.

Tooru didn’t know what to think of this change, but it was possible the TiMER showed him something that had always been there. Showed him his true feelings and displayed it in bright, neon lights for all to see.

For Iwaizumi to see.

To think he’d put the pieces together only for the whole thing to shatter. Tooru finally noticed he might have always hoped that his TiMER was waiting for Iwaizumi, that he was holding out for his best friend to turn to him and say that he was ready to get the TiMER, to make Tooru stop waiting and—

But did he always think that? Before all this, did Tooru really think of Iwaizumi Hajime romantically and was just too blind to see it? Is it possible that the chimes of his TiMER going off just hypnotised him into thinking he had feelings for Iwaizumi, that he was caught up in the illusion of love because something decided to shine a light on one specific person instead of just a shadow of a thought?

This was Tooru’s issue he was avoiding. Did he really, truly, and completely love Iwaizumi Hajime?

“What the  _ fuck _ , Shittykawa?!” An all too familiar voice yells at him then, startling him out of his thoughts and the panic settles in then - he was trying to  _ avoid _ Iwaizumi, damnit!

Tooru turns around, feeling the color drain from his face as the object of his thoughts walks angrily towards him. “H-hey, Iwa-chan…”

Iwaizumi stops before him, lips turned into a cute pout and eyebrows drawn together—

Did he just think Iwaizumi was cute? Has he always thought that?

Distracted, Tooru nearly misses what Iwaizumi was yelling at him. “Why the fuck did you just walk past my house?! I wasn’t even dressed yet and I looked out the window wondering if you’d show up and you just—” Iwaizumi groans, pulling at his hair. Tooru tries not to picture Iwaizumi in his underwear looking out the window, despite having seen him change plenty of times. “I don’t get you—why would you—are you seriously avoiding me?”

Iwaizumi stops, looks up at Tooru and his expression is still angry, but Tooru can see the hurt in his eyes. He bites his lip, pulls his eyes away and down to his feet.

“I knew it, you are,” Iwaizumi’s voice cracks, and Tooru wonders why he’s so upset. “Oikawa, I-I’m sorry about Monday, okay?” He’s gone quiet, and Tooru wonders if he’s gone quiet because he’s afraid of scaring Tooru into running away. “If it’s about something else, please just tell me.”

Tooru wonders what would be easier, walking away or actually talking this out? Iwaizumi doesn’t love him, not romantically, and Tooru - Tooru is falling so hard that he can’t even remember what their friendship was before.

“Iwa-chan, I can’t do this,” Tooru whispers, feeling drained. He hasn’t slept properly the whole week.

Iwaizumi’s face looks so broken then. “I know, and I’m sorry that I can’t either.”

Tooru feels a pressure build behind his eyes and he wants to hit something then. “So that’s it? We’re done?”

“Oikawa, I’m not—”

“You can’t be with me, so what’s left?” Tooru knows his voice is cracking on his words but he can’t bring himself to calm down. “We can’t go back, Iwa-chan, we can’t just be friends again!”

Iwaizumi is shaking his head. “Then what do you want me to do? Because I can’t just walk away from you, Oikawa. You’re too important to me.”

Tooru feels his heart soar at that but he also feels so much pain. “Not important enough to love though, right?”

“That’s not what I said,” Iwaizumi snaps, and Tooru knows he’s going to get angry if they keep going like this.

“I can’t stand by you and know you don’t feel the same way, Iwa-chan. I… I need to be alone for a while.”

“How long is that exactly?” Iwaizumi sounds desperate, and Tooru wants to tell him he can’t be upset here because his heart isn’t being ripped out. “Oikawa, I… I can’t take you ignoring me.”

Tooru bites his lip, wonders why Iwaizumi is so desperate when he doesn’t love Tooru. “Then what do you want?”

Iwaizumi hesitates, gulps and looks around as he thinks. Tooru wants to drop it, wants to leave and go to school and take his frustrations out on a volleyball. But he wants so badly for this to work, and it will take Iwaizumi wanting it as well, so he waits.

“I want one more week,” Iwaizumi murmurs, and Tooru is so shocked he can’t speak. “I want to keep trying, and next week, I want to be able to say for sure whether or not this could work.”

Tooru’s staring at him, his body feels like it’s floating. One week to… to fall in love? “You can’t be serious. How can you figure it out in a week if a whole month told you nothing good?”

“Because in this week, I want to go back to what it was like before!” Iwaizumi shouts, glaring at Tooru. “I want you to treat me like you used to, and I want to try to fall in love without you acting differently - without having to treat you differently.”

Tooru takes a moment to think about it. He supposes that it makes sense, after all you fall in love with the person, not the actions. And while Tooru was ready to hold hands and cuddle and maybe even kiss - which he never tried, for fear of Iwaizumi pushing away - Iwaizumi was not. He didn’t think of Tooru romantically before he started holding his hand, so of course moving towards a relationship would be different for Iwaizumi.

He decides then, “fine. You have one week. Make it count.” Iwaizumi smiles, but he looks so tired, Tooru wonders if he also has been having trouble sleeping. They start to walk to get to the school when Iwaizumi reaches out and takes his hand. Tooru pulls away, “what are you doing?”

Iwaizumi stops and so Tooru does too. “I was just… is that not okay?”

“Iwa-chan, we didn’t hold hands when we were friends,” Tooru says; he remembers that much.

Iwaizumi stares at him, and Tooru watches the pink spill into his cheeks. “Oh… but, I…” Iwaizumi looks to his feet, and Tooru feels his own face warm. Did Iwaizumi miss holding his hand? But he didn’t like Tooru that way, so why?

Tooru hesitates, wonders if it’s so bad. He misses holding Iwaizumi’s hand too. So he reaches out, takes Iwaizumi’s hand into his own. “I guess… this is fine. But nothing else; we’re friends, nothing more.”

It hurts to say it, but Iwaizumi is smiling again and his grip is firm and warm in Tooru’s hand. So he smiles back and they continue on to school for morning practice.

Mizoguchi pulls them to the side when they walk into the gym, no longer holding hands, and shows them a schedule. “Summer break starts after next week, should we hold off on some practices to give everyone a fun break, or do you think they’d like to keep going full speed?”

Tooru’s staring at the calendar, and he’s staring at the current day. He looks to the following week and feels uncomfortable - how had he not noticed what day it was? He glances to Iwaizumi, and judging by his expression, he can tell Iwaizumi noticed as well.

“Guys? What do you think?”

Tooru looks back at their coach and gives his best smile. “I think a break would be nice, everyone has earned it.”

Mizoguchi nods, looks back at the calendar. “Thanks, I’ll run it by Irihata. Go get warmed up,” he gestures to the gym with a smile and jogs over to their head coach.

Tooru pats Iwaizumi’s shoulder and jogs away to get warmed up.

He was either going to have the best birthday of his life next week, or the worst.

———

Hajime was nervous at first. He’d immediately shown something to Oikawa he didn’t want to admit and it worried him that he was going to get Oikawa’s hopes up. He was scared he was going to get his own hopes up by falling into the comfort he didn’t know he’d found in holding Oikawa’s hand.

The long slender fingers curved around his hand in a way that Hajime couldn’t remember any girl’s ever doing. Oikawa was different from the girls he’d dated, and while at first the rocks in the pit of his stomach were telling him he was disgusted, Hajime wasn’t so so sure of that anymore. He couldn’t find another word though, knows this is the first time he’s really felt this way, that Oikawa and thinking of him - romantically, that is - were causing him to feel nauseous.

But Hajime wanted to hold his hand so badly. Hajime wanted to be next to Oikawa, couldn’t imagine being without Oikawa. He still couldn’t picture kissing him - though his lips looked lovely, especially when they were pulled back into a smile when Oikawa laughed - without feeling sick. Holding his hand no longer made him sweat, and Hajime was happy for that.

This week was a good idea, until Hajime saw the calendar Mizoguchi showed them.

July 20th was next week and Oikawa would be eighteen when Hajime promised he’d have an answer.

So he threw himself into being the greatest best friend he ever could that week. He spent every waking moment doting on Oikawa in ways he hoped would give him his answer - well, almost every waking moment. He unfortunately had to focus on exams then, on top of focusing in practice, and communicating with his mother again. He’d forgotten what it was like to have her talking to him again, and it couldn’t have come at a more crucial moment.

However, with exams and studying did come Oikawa being just as distracted, and they helped each other out. Oikawa was good at studying, he just hated English and Hajime had a feeling it was because his parents bragged about his siblings being so good at it whereas Oikawa… just wasn’t. He excelled in other subjects, especially math - Hajime would drown in math without Oikawa to help him - and yet his parents were more impressed with foreign language.

Sometimes, Hajime hated Oikawa’s parents - usually when it came to comparing him to his siblings or the whole TiMER situation.

Hajime watches Oikawa for the whole week, helping him with English and getting helped in return for math. They even studied with Matsukawa and Hanamaki the night before exams started.

“So Oikawa, are you celebrating your birthday with your family this year, or are we all invited too?” Hanamaki asked that night. Matsukawa smiled up at their captain, who stared at them both with an unreadable expression.

“I think my parents wanted it to just be the family this year, sorry guys,” Oikawa had responded, but Hajime knew that wasn’t true. At least not completely true, as he was invited by Oikawa’s mother the other day.

Their friend’s nodded and accepted it without complaint. Hajime wondered why Oikawa didn’t invite them along, but remembered that was the day Hajime had to answer Oikawa.

In that week alone, Hajime found he wasn’t sure either way which he felt more comfortable with. So he focused on exams when they happened, found that the math made sense for once and silently thanked Oikawa for his tutoring. He wondered during the English exam how Oikawa was doing, but stopped himself from falling down that rabbit hole.

By the end of exams, Hajime felt relief from it being over. But by finishing the exams, Oikawa’s birthday loomed over him.

Oikawa’s involvement in Hajime’s life had grown in that week. He truly could not imagine a life without him and he grew worried again. If he found it was not to be, would he lose Oikawa completely? What about everything they’d been through in the last eleven years? What about volleyball? What about the TiMER and being soulmates?

Could Hajime fall in love in the next few hours to give Oikawa everything he asked for?

Hajime gulps, staring at himself in the mirror of the bathroom. He’s wearing a polo shirt he forgot his mother bought him, and wonders if it was casual but nice enough for Oikawa’s birthday. His mother pokes her head in through the open door and smiles at him. “Don’t you look nice,” she says, stepping into the bathroom to adjust the collar of the shirt.

“Mom,” he murmurs, and she looks at him through the mirror. “What if… I did love Tooru?”

She stops and stares at him. “That’s for you to figure out, Hajime. If you are in love with him, and you weren’t forcing it, I’d be happy for you.”

“But the TiMER—”

“Is a machine to help you find someone you’re compatible with,” his mother says, patting his shoulders. “It doesn’t always work, but you and Tooru… it makes sense and it doesn’t.”

Hajime stares at her through the mirror. “If I do love him, it won’t matter, right?”

“It matters if you’re happy, Hajime,” she answers with a smile.

He nods, looks back to himself. “I have to go, the Oikawa’s are probably wondering where I am.”

She nods back, pats him again. “I hope you find your answer, Hajime.”

He leaves, and the entire walk over to the Oikawa’s he wonders what it is he feels.

Oikawa makes him happy - when they’re playing volleyball, when they’re studying, when they’re just sitting around watching TV or playing games. Oikawa makes him frustrated - when he second guesses himself, when he’s asking Hajime to do something Hajime can’t do, when he gets selfish and acts like a dick just because. Oikawa makes him sad - when he cries over the loss to Shiratorizawa, when he ignores Hajime, when he looks at Hajime with a heartbroken expression.

Oikawa makes Hajime feel more than any other person ever has. His family is there for him, but that’s his family. Oikawa is someone else, some other kind of important.

He feels warm when he’s with Oikawa. But he also feels dread when Oikawa touches him in ways friends don’t touch each other. He feels sick when he thinks about kissing Oikawa, and the pit in his stomach twists and drops the rocks forming there to crash about and it’s hard to think about Oikawa without feeling that way.

Hajime knocks on the door and hopes the Oikawa’s won’t expect too much from him tonight. It’s Tooru who answers, and the smile that lights across his face is enough to tell Hajime he’s wanted.

He follows him in and Tooru’s siblings are greeting him with smiles and easy conversation. Hajime joins them for a card game in the living room, giving a hug to Takeru and laughing at Souta’s jokes. Tooru sits beside him, and the warmth radiating from his friend is calming, relaxing.

They eat dinner and spend the time talking about easy things. Hajime feels at ease with the Oikawa’s, nodding along to what Hiroko tells him about her projects and answering Tooru’s father when he asks Hajime about how the exams went.

The night ends with their mother telling Tooru his birthday present was a trip over the break with the family to Tokyo. He thanks her and Hajime watches him with warmth in his stomach for once rather than the pit.

Tooru leads the way to his bedroom after his siblings have said goodbye for the night. Hajime follows, wonders how this will go. He still doesn’t have his answer, even after the relaxing night with Tooru’s family. They sit on Tooru’s bed and Hajime takes a deep breath.

It’s quiet in Tooru’s room.

“Thanks for coming tonight, Iwa-chan,” Tooru says softly, and Hajime wonders if he is saying it so quietly because of the atmosphere between them - if he’s afraid talking will break it.

“Happy birthday, Tooru,” Hajime replies, “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

Tooru shrugs, ducks his head down so his bangs cover his eyes. “There’s only one thing you could give me right now.”

Hajime silently agrees, but he’s nervous. He’s not sure what to say or do.

On the one hand, he could go with the feeling of this moment. Could go with the feeling of warmth and hold Tooru - but the pit might return. On the other hand, he could let it all go, avoid the pit and tell Tooru no.

But then, he’d lose everything he’s ever had with his best friend. He’d lose the most important person outside of his family by letting this go.

Hajime can’t take that thought. He wonders what he should do, wishes he had given himself until the start of second term instead of a week.

Time wouldn’t change this though, and he needs to give Tooru the answer he’s been waiting for.

He decides to not hold back, to let his body do what it wants. Maybe his instincts will give him the answer he’s looking for. He reaches out, placing a hand on the back of Tooru’s head and runs his fingers through the soft locks. Tooru hums, slowly turns to look up at Hajime, his warm chocolate brown eyes shining with hope.

“Tooru, I…” Hajime whispers, chokes on his words. He’s not even sure what he’s going to say.

Tooru waits, but Hajime can’t continue. He doesn’t know his answer still, and all he’s done is run his fingers through Tooru’s hair. It’s so soft though, and Hajime gulps when he notices Tooru’s opened his mouth. He glances down at his lips, sees how pink they are, and wonders if Tooru was biting them before he started to play with his hair.

He takes a breath, feels words start to form when Tooru is suddenly closer, a pressure on his lips that he didn’t expect. Hajime gasps at the feeling of Tooru kissing him, marvels at how warm his lips are - how  _ soft _ they are - and slowly begins to push forward, closing his eyes.

Tooru takes that as an invitation, pushing back a little harder and tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Hajime feels the warmth there, but the brush of Tooru’s cheek on his nose alerts him to the little bit of stubble that Tooru usually shaves off. Neither of them can grow a very good beard, so they both usually shave, and it seems Tooru missed a spot.

‘It’s not so bad,’ he thinks.

Hajime wants to kiss back, but the pit is suddenly there, full force and dropping rocks in his stomach in ways it never had before. Feeling like something will come up, Hajime moves his hand down to Tooru’s shoulder and pushes him away.

“Wait, stop—”

“What?” Tooru whispers, and Hajime takes in a deep breath, moving to wipe at the spit on his lip, hoping he won’t throw up - and why would he, it wasn’t awful? Or maybe it was, maybe the kiss was bad to Hajime and his brain hasn’t caught up with his body. The warmth flooding him before has subsided to a freezing cold rush and Hajime worries this possible disgust is too much.

Hajime gulps, turns to look back at Tooru. His face is twisted into one of dread, much like Hajime is suddenly feeling, and he’s scared that he’s done it again. “Tooru, wait—”

Pain fills the side of his face when he feels Tooru stand. He’s on the ground, wondering what happened. He barely saw Tooru’s fist before it had connected with his cheek. “Are you kidding me?!”

Groaning, Hajime clutches his face. “Wait—”

“ _ No _ , I’ve done my waiting!” Tooru screams, and Hajime staggers to his feet to look at him properly. “I’m done, Hajime, get out!”

Hajime’s stomach is flipping all over the place, and his heart is following it’s example. This isn’t what he wants. “No, Tooru, I—”

“If you didn’t want me to kiss you, you should have stopped me!” Tooru yells, and great, now he’s crying. Hajime wants to cry too. “Why would you let me do it if you were just going to reject me?”

Hajime’s emotions are all over the place then - sadness, fear, regret, worry, anger. He finally settles on anger, decides it’s the easiest way to deal with this. To deal with Tooru.

“No, you idiot! I didn’t know what I was doing!” Hajime yells back, and pushes at Tooru. “Don’t fucking hit me when you don’t understand!”

“I understood enough,” Tooru snaps back, and man, he really is an ugly crier. Hajime is overwhelmed then, and he wants to hit something.

He settles on hitting Tooru.

He lashes out, and soon they’ve fallen to the ground, and he’s not sure who tackled who, but Tooru is on top of him, trying to punch him over and over. Hajime won’t let him though and overpowers him, turns the tables and straddles him back, ready to punch him back when the door slams open.

“ _ What are you doing?! _ ” Tooru’s mother screams, and someone is pulling Hajime off of him. He barely registers Souta grabbing hold of Tooru to stop him when he lunges to attack Hajime again, and he can only assume it’s Tooru’s father who’s holding him. “ _ Get him out of here, Isamu! _ ”

Hajime is being pulled away, but he’s watching Tooru thrash in Souta’s arms, sees the tears roll down his cheeks and mix with the blood coming from his nose. Chiyo and Hiroko and are trying to calm him down and that’s the last thing Hajime sees in Tooru’s room as their father pulls him away. He sees Takeru in the hall, but he can’t register what Takeru’s face looks like because he’s feeling so much regret.

Tooru’s father throws him out the front door and Hajime stumbles in the grass. He tries to stand, but the worry he’s feeling for Tooru is making his shake too much. Tooru’s father grabs his arm, pulls him to stand and his mother is standing before him.

“Leave, and never return to this place,” she spits in his face, and there’s a fire in her eyes that Hajime has only ever seen from Tooru. So that’s where he gets it from.

“But, Oikawa-san, I—”

“You’ve hurt my son enough, Hajime,” she snaps, and puts her finger to his chest. “Until you can figure out your own problems, you’re not allowed anywhere near my home or my son, do you understand me?”

He stares at her, tries to stop shaking. “I… I understand…”

She straightens and the fire dies a little. “I shouldn’t have expected anything else from an Iwaizumi.”

Hajime feels the bile in his throat again as she turns to go back inside, can hear Tooru yelling still.

Tooru’s father lets go of his arm. “I’m sorry, Hajime… I wish this worked out differently.”

Hajime doesn’t answer him, just watches him return to the house as well and watches the door shut behind him.


	9. Chapter Eight

Hajime stumbles through the front door and leans against the wall to kick his shoes off. His face hurts from Oikawa’s punch - he knew Oikawa was strong, but damn - and he goes to rub his sore cheek. He’s actually surprised it didn’t knock his tooth out, and dully he hears his mother call out to him. He doesn’t answer though, and Hajime stumbles forward to go up the stairs.

“Hajime, I asked you how it went,” his mother says then, coming through the doorway to the kitchen and catching sight of him. She gasps, running forward. “What happened?” She’s grabbing his chin, turning him to look at the bruise that surely forming on his face.

He hisses at the touch and wonders if Oikawa had hit his jaw too when they rolled on the ground. His ribs hurt too, and he can only guess it was Oikawa who tackled him.

“Mom, it’s not a big deal…”

“Not a big deal?!” She yells, and his head splits, causing him to wince. “Hajime, you’re bruised in the face! What happened?”

His father is coming around the corner then, his face screwed up in concern. “What’s going on?”

His mother turns to him, “his face is all bruised!”

“Mom, stop yelling,” his father says, touching her shoulder. “I think he’s got a headache and you’re not helping.”

Hajime nods a little, wishes he could run up the stairs, but his mother looks frantic. “It’s okay mom, really.”

She rounds on him, face set in a frown. “Hajime, tell me what happened right now.”

He wants to go lay down, to wallow in self pity, so he sighs and shrugs. “Tooru punched me,” he hears her gasp, but he’s focused on the ground.

“Why would he do that?” His father asks, concern evident in his voice.

“Because I rejected him,” Hajime admits, wondering to himself if that really is what he did. Did he mean to push Oikawa away? Well, he did, but did he mean to because he was rejecting him? Hajime wants to think he did it because he was about to throw up and didn’t want it going into Oikawa’s mouth, but does that really mean he was rejecting him?

Why was he going to throw up anyway? Hajime didn’t hate the kiss, still can’t think of it in any other way. It was nice and he wishes he hadn’t felt like something was rising in his throat, wishes he was still there with Oikawa now.

His father huffs out a confused noise. “Why would you need to reject him? Reject him for what?”

And Hajime suddenly remembers he hadn’t said a word to his father about the TiMER. He groans, scratching at his head.

“Hajime?” His father asks again, and he looks to his mother for help. She looks resigned, and it’s clear she’s a little disappointed in him again. He wonders if it’s because he hasn’t talked to his father, or if it’s because they’re back on the TiMER again. “What’s going on?”

He doesn’t care anymore, just lifts his right hand up to show his father the TiMER, looking him in the eye. “I got the TiMER and it started beeping when I looked Tooru in the eye. I’m meant to be with him, and now he thinks I’ve rejected him.”

There’s a silence then, the whole house seems to have lost any essance of sound. His father is staring at him, and Hajime holds his breath, wondering what will happen. He’s feeling the pit in his stomach, and Hajime wonders why he feels disgusted - wonders again if it’s really disgust piling up or if maybe it’s something else.

“When did this happen?” His father asks quietly, his tone betraying no emotion.

Hajime gulps, wants to look away, but his father’s gaze holds him. “My birthday.”

“And you’ve rejected him? Just like that?” His father continues, and still Hajime feels the rocks grow in size. “You said he only thinks you rejected him. Why is that?”

Hajime drops his hand back to his side, licks his lips. “Because I was pushing him away after he kissed me. I thought I was going to throw up.”

His father sighs, shifts on his feet and crosses his arms. “Why would you throw up? Was it disgusting?”

“No,” Hajime whispers, and he still can’t pinpoint why he felt like he would. “I… I think I—”

“You think you love him, don’t you?” His father finishes for him, and Hajime suddenly can’t look him in the eye. “Hajime, the TiMER is wrong.”

“Honey, wait—”

“No, the TiMER is wrong,” he looks down to Hajime’s mother, and Hajime wonders why his father thinks it. He feels like everything is right in the world. He feels like Oikawa really is his one and he’s just ruined it - so why is father saying it’s not true?

Hajime starts to shake. “Why do you think that?”

“Hajime—”

“No, dad. Why do you think my TiMER is wrong?”

Hajime glares up at his father. He feels so sure about this now, in this moment, that he has to fight his father on this one.

“Because I was in love once,” his father answers, and Hajime feels confused then. “I was in love and happy, and she convinced me to get the TiMER with her.”

He can’t believe this. “You… you had a TiMER?”

“I did,” his father nods. “And it was flashing dashes at me, while her’s counted down to only fifteen days. And it was suddenly like as if I was never worth anything. Five years together and it was suddenly gone.”

Hajime stared at his father, shocked beyond belief. “You… you think the TiMER is wrong because some stupid woman decided she didn’t love you?”

His father flinches at his statement. “It broke my heart, Hajime, to see someone who had everything in order and had told me a thousand times she loved me decide in only one second that she never actually did.”

He stares at his father, and can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Dad, that’s you! Your one didn’t have a TiMER, that’s not her fault! And I bet you anything it was mom who would have made your TiMER go off, but she never got one because of her parents getting a divorce over theirs!”

His mother shrinks back, decides to not be apart of this argument. “Hajime, I know the TiMER is wrong because it only makes you  _ think _ you’re in love!” His father is shaking his head, squaring his shoulders and standing his full height to match Hajime. “You’re not in love, and Tooru doesn’t love you.”

Hajime feels so much hatred then, and he wants to punch something again, but he could never bring himself to punch his own father. “Fuck you,” he spits instead, and turns to run up the stairs.

“Hajime, wait!” His mother calls, but he doesn’t stop, just runs into his bedroom and slams the door shut.

He can’t believe it, he doesn’t want to believe it! Hajime had spent so much time trying not to fall in love with Oikawa and once he’d finally let himself do it, he was so scared of—

Scared of…

Hajime plops down onto his bed, recognises the pit in his stomach.

Fear…? This feeling he was harboring every time Oikawa touched him… 

Was it fear? Why would he be afraid to love Oikawa?

He thinks to what his father had said, wonders if it’s true. Does the TiMER make you think you’re in love? But if that was so, how come so many people were so in love because of it?

He thinks about it then. Realizes only 98% of the world’s population who had a TiMER were satisfied. Maybe the other 2% wasn’t because they realized the truth.

The TiMER had to be messing with him, because Hajime wasn’t in love with Oikawa. His body knew it was being played with, that’s why he was scared. Right…?

Hajime felt it again, the lurching gross feeling in his throat, and worried he’d really throw up this time, he ran to the bathroom. Hunching over the toilet, he feels it come up and he’s unable to stop it. What is wrong with him?

———

Tooru’s vacation with his family went horribly. They were all cautious around him, and any mention of Iwaizumi caused his mother to grow angry, and Tooru winced when she’d curse his name. Despite his heart aching - among other things, Iwaizumi can really pack a punch - Tooru knew he still loved his best friend.

Could he even still call Iwaizumi a best friend? Tooru wasn’t sure.

Either way, the trip for his birthday was a bust, but Takeru seemed to have fun, so Tooru didn’t mind. He mostly sat around and stared off into the distance, and despite Hiroko and Chiyo trying to cheer him up, Tooru would not budge.

When the vacation ended and the summer training camp was to start, Tooru dreaded having to see Iwaizumi. He worried he’d cry the instant he saw the other man, and he knew things wouldn’t be the same. Seijou might as well get themselves a new captain and/or vice captain, because Tooru would not be able to lead them to victory if he had to depend on someone who broke his heart.

It was hard to sleep at night, too. Tooru was only able to see the look on Iwaizumi’s face when he pushed Tooru away, how he wiped away the kiss and looked as though he’d be sick. Tooru wanted to cry, because the moment before then was so beautiful. Tooru wishes he could go back and replay the moment he felt Iwaizumi start to kiss him back. He wishes it had gone differently, that Iwaizumi could love him back.

Instead, he got rejection and the sight of Iwaizumi trying to wipe away Tooru’s affection.

Tooru sighs and walks into the club room to greet the team before they board the bus to training camp. Matsukawa and Hanamaki greet him casually and he smiles at them, glances around and finds Yahaba among some of the second years. He wonders what to say to him, if he should mention that Yahaba should be prepared for Tooru dropping out as main setter because the ace broke his heart and he would probably be unable to set to him.

Behind Yahaba though, he spots Kyoutani. Maybe he could use him instead of Iwaizumi, turn him into ace material before the Spring High prelims started.

Kyoutani glares at him though, and Tooru sighs again. No, Kyoutani hated him and would never trust him. Still, he had to talk to him - he was the captain, and last he checked, Kyoutani wasn’t going to the training camp.

“What are you doing here, Mad Dog-chan?” He asks as sweetly as he can, but Kyoutani still gives him a dirty look as Tooru walks up.

“Iwaizumi-san already gave me permission to be here,” Kyoutani snaps back, adjusts his hold on his arms. Tooru stares at him, wonders why he didn’t know this. “The coaches approved it too, left it up to Iwaizumi-san to tell you.”

And of course that’s why no one said anything.

Yahaba appears next to him then, glancing between Tooru and Kyoutani. “Everything okay, Oikawa-senpai?”

“Yeah, everything is just fine,” Tooru answers, and he wonders if his voice could sound any less fake with the sweetness he’s pouring on.

Yahaba gives him a look. “You sure about that?”

“He’s just pissed because his boyfriend didn’t tell him I was here,” Kyoutani grumbles, and Tooru snaps a glare at him. The sudden glare has Kyoutani jumping, but he can’t move further back since he was leaning against the wall. “Or… not his boyfriend?”

Tooru feels the fiery pits of hell engulf him. “ _ Never _ my boyfriend.”

And it hurt to admit, but some of the team is staring at him so Tooru turns on his heels and storms out of the club room. They’d all made jokes before, plenty of times - even Hiroko did before the TiMER because she’d heard the team say it before - about how close he was to Iwaizumi. Tooru isn’t sure they ever made the joke to Iwaizumi, but they’ve all called him Tooru’s boyfriend before out of jest.

Tooru never minded, and after the TiMER told him he was waiting for Iwaizumi, he grew hopeful that they’d stop being jokes - that it would come true.

His hope didn’t hold out.

He nearly runs into some first years but he sidesteps them and continues on his way out to get fresh air. The third and second years seem to all be here, and the first years are making their way in. But where is Iwaizumi?

He catches sight of Irihata and Mizoguchi by the road waiting for the bus and decides that if anyone knew it would be them. Tooru hurries over, trying to push down the need to see Iwaizumi again when he knew it would just break his heart - he just wanted to know where his vice captain and ace was, that is all.

Stopping before them, Tooru waits for their conversation to end and wonders to himself if he really could be a perfect set with Iwaizumi still. He couldn’t say for sure, but volleyball is important to both of them - at least it is to Tooru. They’d probably force themselves to work together, but Tooru can already feel the dread seeping in that he and Iwaizumi would never have the same rhythm as before.

“Good morning, Oikawa,” Irihata says then, noticing Tooru finally. He smiles back at the head coach, wonders if it’s convincing enough. “Shame Iwaizumi can’t be here for the training camp.”

Tooru let’s his smile fall - was he avoiding Tooru? “What do you mean?”

Irihata looks surprised. “I thought you knew, you two are so close; Iwaizumi’s mother called us last night. It seems Iwaizumi has gotten the stomach flu suddenly and has been throwing up here and there all week.”

‘How convenient,’ Tooru thinks bitterly.

“She said she’d bring him to camp if he were to recover this week, but she’s not so sure. According to their doctor, he’s probably been sick for a while and was fighting through it.” Irihata chuckles then, “sounds just like him, don’t you think?”

Tooru stares at him. It did sound like something stupid Iwaizumi would do, but he can’t remember seeing Iwaizumi looking sick - except at his birthday. But that was in reaction to Tooru, wasn’t it?

“Thank you, I had no idea… I just got back from a trip to Tokyo for my birthday,” Tooru admits, and the coaches nod. The bus comes into sight then, and Tooru weakly returns to the club room to tell the team.

Iwaizumi wasn’t sick, he was faking it to avoid Tooru. But to cut into volleyball like this - did he not care anymore?

Tooru felt a fire burn in his belly and he wanted to hit someone again.

———

Hajime sneezes, much to his mother’s amusement. He glares up at her, wishes this sickness would go away. He wants to be at the training camp, but it was closing today and Hajime still wasn’t better. He hated being sick, it felt like he was dying.

Still, that explained his sick feeling around Oikawa. But that didn’t mean he loved him, because falling in love suddenly was the influence of the TiMER.

He’d been looking it up, found some conspiracies that the TiMER messed with your hormones or something and that’s why it had some clauses about your hormone levels and other DNA stuff. Hajime barely remembers the agreement he’d signed when he got his TiMER, but it made sense, and he was growing more and more annoyed at the device.

His mother eventually left him be to go into their backyard with his father, something about some landscaping project they wanted to work on. Hajime relaxed without her around, and thought about sleeping.

But a knock came to the door, and he wondered who it could be. Feeling too sick to respond, he grunts instead and Oikawa came through the door.

Hajime stares at him, feels his stomach do flips - shit he might throw up again, damnit Oikawa - and wonders how he got in. His parents sure as hell wouldn’t let Oikawa in here, not after Hajime’s face bruised from his punch and his mother cried.

“Kaida-chan,” is all Oikawa mumbles as he walks in, letting the door fall closed behind him. Hajime understands then, knew Kaida probably didn’t know better about letting Oikawa in.

“What do you want?” Hajime grumbles, feeling the headache begin to form.

Oikawa doesn’t sit on his bed or come closer, just looks at him from a distance. “I wanted to see if you were actually sick or if you just didn’t care about volleyball anymore.”

Hajime glares, gestures to the bucket by his bed. “What do you think?”

“Right…” Oikawa shuffles a little then, his face sheepish before he grows firm and stone-faced again. “We need to talk about the team.”

Hajime stares. “What about it?” He felt the worry then that something was wrong with the team, but Oikawa didn’t look worried so he figured it isn’t terrible.

“Are we going to be able to lead them to victory, Iwaizumi?” Oikawa asks then, and Hajime felt the nerve being pinched. He wasn’t used to hearing his full name, not from Oikawa. It sounded wrong. “Or are we going to fall apart on the court the second we try anything?”

Hajime had been wondering it himself - would they be able to work together, or would they just fumble every set? “I guess that depends on you, because I’m not letting this go.”

“Yes, you are,” Oikawa snaps, his voice low. Hajime thinks Kaida had told him to keep quiet, not for his sake but more for their parents not finding out. “What we had before - it’s dead. We’re not what we used to be, so what does that mean for volleyball?”

He didn’t want to agree, and it hurt to have Oikawa say they were, in fact, over. Not just in terms of a potential relationship, but in general. Hajime did his best to not let his face crumble. “We’ll make it work. We can’t just lose everything we’ve worked towards in volleyball die because we can’t get along anymore.”

Oikawa’s face pinches then, and Hajime thinks he hit a nerve too. But Oikawa doesn’t address that and just nods. “Sounds good to me. Get better, we have to keep working before the tournament in two months.”

Hajime watches him leave, doesn’t stop him.

So this is what they were reduced to? Having to agree to play along with one another?

Hajime tossed to his side, manhandling his pillow into a shape that was more comfortable to him, and not because he was frustrated.

He got well again within the week, and came back to practice. He noted immediately the absence of Kyoutani even after he let the younger boy come to the camp - he wonders about Oikawa’s reaction to that. Hajime doesn’t let it bother him, goes into practicing his serves as far from Oikawa as possible; it wasn’t like Oikawa would stop his serving practice anyway.

They practiced like that for a while, and when the local college came to help, Oikawa was put onto the team with the college students, so Hajime didn’t have to worry about working with him.

It went that way for a while, the two just avoiding each other. Everyone noticed, and Hajime didn’t acknowledge the questions being thrown at him - he only responded with telling them to get back to work. Kindaichi started to avoid him and Oikawa though, and Hajime wondered if they were both too harsh in telling people to back off; Kindaichi didn’t deserve that. He doesn’t worry though, knows Kindaichi can handle whatever this was.

The coaches made to put a stop to this eventually when they finally noticed Hajime was only practicing his jump serve and not once had he come around to practice his spiking with Oikawa. They both glared at one another, but grudgingly they went to the court together, and everyone stopped to watch.

Hajime recalls thinking this wouldn’t work as he threw the ball up for Oikawa to toss it. He remembers thinking it had been a month and they hadn’t gone that long without practicing as he did his run up. He can still feel his hand connect as he jumped perfectly, syncing with Oikawa naturally and hitting the ball to exactly where he wanted to.

When he landed, he could hear the cheers of relief from their teammates, but he had focused on Oikawa’s reaction. They stared at each other in that moment, and Hajime knew Oikawa was just as shocked at how well they had synced up as though playing together was like breathing. But they eventually looked away, and that’s when everyone noticed Kyoutani strolling in, hours late and eating something. Oikawa immediately left his side to break up the argument that was going to start between Yahaba and Kyoutani, and Hajime tried not to feel hurt that they wouldn’t continue spiking practice today.

Hajime walks through the front door, glancing to his hand and seeing the TiMER with the zeroes again. His hand still stung from all the hitting he did that day, but the TiMER staring up at him reminded him that Oikawa was supposed to be his soulmate. He scoffs, kicking off his shoes and hurrying up the stairs. Oikawa was probably only his soulmate in terms of volleyball at this rate.

Something registers in the back of his mind as soon as he walks into his room though, and Hajime goes to his closet without a second thought. He finds it easily enough, and goes to sit on his bed with the box.

His father had suggested he keep a box of memories when he was six, and Hajime didn’t start to use it until he was seven - when the memories seemed to matter the most. Opening the lid, he peers inside and finds a lot of rocks, some sea shells, and a few sticky note drawings. He dug around, knowing the rocks were from Oikawa - he’d claimed they were moon rocks, and Hajime hadn’t had the heart to tell him they were just regular rocks from the river near their homes. He kept every single one of them, and the shells were from their time at the beach five years ago when Hajime was invited to a vacation with the Oikawa’s. He dug around some more, trying to find what he’s looking for specifically, and starts to worry that he got rid of it a long time ago.

But the cool chain hits his fingers then and Hajime sighs in relief. He takes a moment to pinch the chain in between his fingers, pulling it out and hoping one of the rocks didn’t break the charm at the end.

Hajime stares once he has it out, and he looks the charm over for damage at the end of the necklace. It’s only a little dull from being old, but otherwise it’s a perfectly intact necklace and Hajime feels the memories wash over him.

He was in Tokyo with Oikawa’s family when they were ten, and while waiting for the train at the end of the trip, Tooru had pulled him to the side and found those crank machines you put coins into. They only had enough between them for one thing, and Tooru wanted the prize more, so Hajime let him use the crank. However, it was as though the machine knew there were two of them, because it spit out two identical prizes in one go.

Tooru had bounced with joy and handed one to Hajime, and they cracked the little eggs open to find necklaces with a little four leaf clover charm at the end. Hajime helped Tooru put his on and Tooru helped him do the same when Tooru’s mother called them over.

Hajime stares down at the clover necklace, not quite as shiny as it once was, and tries to fight down the smile. They both had only worn the matching necklaces for a few months before they decided they got in the way of volleyball.

He’d kept it after all these years, because of what Tooru had said when he handed it to Hajime:

“This shows we’ll always be best friends, no matter what Hajime!”

Hajime felt a tear roll down his cheek at that distant memory, and wondered where Oikawa’s necklace was now.


	10. Chapter Nine

Hajime watches Oikawa step off the bus ahead of him, and ignoring the significant looks Hanamaki and Matsukawa throw his way, he follows after.

In the month leading up to the Spring High, Hajime and Oikawa were completely civil towards one another on the court, and pretended the other didn’t exist off the court. Oikawa never gave Hajime a chance to try speaking to him, and out of frustration at Oikawa, Hajime stopped trying a week after finding the necklace. It pained him to do so, but if Oikawa had forgotten his promise to always remain best friends, then Hajime would forget it as well.

At least, he was trying to forget about it. It didn’t stop him from laying in bed most days with the charm in hand, recalling some of the best memories he and his friend had made together. Hajime’s memory wasn’t perfect, but he knew he spent more days laughing than crying as a child, and every memory brought another wave of emotions to wash over him. Hajime didn’t like where he and Oikawa were, but he also knew Oikawa was heartbroken - knew the TiMER was making Oikawa feel things that weren’t real and Hajime knew he himself was fighting against these false emotions. Even though he dreamt of touching Oikawa, of sleeping by his side, maybe even of kissing him, Hajime knew it was the TiMER messing with him.

It was better like this, until the TiMER’s effect wore off.

But it has been a month and the Spring High was starting. Hajime looks up to Sendai City Gymnasium looming above him on October 25th, and felt the regular shock of excitement at getting to play volleyball. It overtook any fears he had of not playing well, or of losing again to Shiratorizawa. Instead, he glances to Oikawa and wonders if he felt even a little nervous before deciding that it didn’t matter; Oikawa wouldn’t listen to him anyway.

They head in, and Hajime hears over the chatter of everyone within the building someone screaming about winning. He looks around and wonders where that might be coming from when he catches sight of Oikawa’s eyes on him.

Staring back, the two remain still as their teammates move about, settling in and a few beginning to stretch. Oikawa’s face betrays no emotion, and the distance between them makes it hard to make out what he might be feeling under the surface. Hajime wonders if after all this time he’ll be able to even read Oikawa’s underlying feelings and be right ever again.

“Please, for the love of all things volleyball, go talk to him,” Matsukawa groans beside him, and Hajime jumps in surprise. “I’m not about to go into the first game of our last tournament with the two of you being angry at each other for whatever bullshit reason, so please just… go apologise or listen to his apology or whatever it is you two need to do. It’ll really help the team.”

Hajime stares up at his friend, sees Hanamaki standing by but clearly listening as he nods as well. “Do us all a favor and go make our captain feel better; it’s clear he’s sad,” is all Hanamaki adds before he goes to answer a first year member’s question.

He turns to look back at Oikawa, but his back is to him now. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he hesitates a moment before Matsukawa bumps his back. “Go, before he just disappears before our match.” Hajime takes a deep breath and nods without looking back, hurrying to follow after him.

Hajime catches up to Oikawa before he rounds the corner, and they walk side by side in silence. It’s a painful one, completely unlike the silences they used to share before. He’s not sure where to start, or even what could come of talking to Oikawa now.

“Iwaizumi,” Oikawa starts instead, and they stop in a relatively deserted hall. “I don’t like this.”

Briefly, Hajime thinks he means that he doesn’t like Hajime following him. But when Oikawa turns to look at him, he sees the tears in his eyes and realizes Oikawa is saying he doesn’t like their distance.

“I don’t like it either…”

“I don’t care if you love me or not,” Oikawa gasps, lifting his sleeved arm up to wipe away his tears in an attempt to keep from crying. “I just want to be friends again, but you - you hate me, don’t you?”

Hajime wants to smack him, but he thinks better of it in this moment. Oikawa is in no condition to take getting hit right now, and he knows it’d be better to just grab Oikawa into a hug. Instead, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the charm to show it to him. Oikawa’s eyes widen, and it becomes more apparent that his eyes are red when he does. Hajime almost wishes he had hugged his friend instead.

“I never forgot our promise, Oikawa,” he whispers. “I’ll always be your best friend, but I also will give you space and the time you need when we fight.”

Oikawa reaches out, pokes the little clover charm and turns his blotchy face up to look at him. “Iwa-chan…”

“I’m sorry about pushing you away,” Hajime starts, doesn’t want to say he rejected him - as far as Hajime is concerned, he didn’t reject Oikawa - and sees no reason to apologise for not loving Oikawa. He does, but right now they don’t need to talk particulars; instead, they need to focus on the tournament. “Can we put everything behind us for now, be best friends again to really win this tournament? We can talk again after we’ve crushed Shiratorizawa, but until then, please forgive me.”

Oikawa wails, latching onto Hajime without a second thought. “Of course I forgive you!” Hajime almost stumbles back, but he catches himself, wraps his arms around Oikawa in return and just holds on as tight as he can. “Iwa-chan, I’m sorry I got so mad. I’m sorry I punched you and-and-and—”

“Shut up, you don’t need to apologise,” Hajime grumbles in the crook of Oikawa’s neck, breathing in his scent. He tries not to think about how nice Oikawa smells, tells himself the TiMER is still messing with him, and just holds onto Oikawa. “We need to get you cleaned up; you’re the grossest person ever when you cry.”

Oikawa doesn’t even balk at this, just gives a watery laugh in response as he pulls away. Hajime winces at the blotchy colors of Oikawa’s face, wonders how much snot was on his jacket before pulling him to find the nearest bathroom. Oikawa starts wiping at his face with his own jacket though, and it mostly helps.

“I can’t believe you kept your necklace, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa laughs again, and Hajime smiles over to him. “I made mine into a keychain for my house keys.”

“Huh… maybe I should do that,” Hajime mumbles, making Oikawa laugh again. He feels his face split into a larger smile, has to stop himself from taking Oikawa’s hand when he sees the bathroom. What makes them both pause is who they see outside the bathroom. “What the hell is he doing?”

“Only one way to find out,” Oikawa whispers to him, and Hajime follows him over to the short middle blocker of Karasuno. “What’cha doing?”

Number Ten pauses in his frantic looking around and seems to have gone stiff. Hajime recalls some stories he heard about the little guy and some two meter tall opponent he beat and wonders how true it is - if it is, then he’s definitely impressed. He’s finally turning around and staring up at Hajime and Oikawa with a shocked expression, making Hajime wonder if they were that scary; maybe it was Oikawa, his eyes and cheeks are still a little red.

He makes a weird noise, and Hajime decides to move past that to ask about the two meter guy. He can’t remember the shrimp’s name though, so he passes formalities and just goes for it. “I heard you beat a guy that was two meters tall - not bad.”

“Uh - yes! Not at all!” The kid responds, staring at Hajime with this weird expression. He blinks back, wonders if the kid is confused or if he’s impressed by Hajime’s presence. He doubts the latter and just wonders if the rumors are true.

In true Oikawa fashion though, he watches his friend lean forward into the kid’s space - seriously, why was Hajime bad at names? “Seeing as this shrimp becomes a threat during games, should we go bury him somewhere while we have the chance?”

Hajime groans, rolling his eyes at the bad joke. Number Ten doesn’t seem to realize Oikawa is joking - most people don’t - because he suddenly yells and runs away. Hajime goes to kick Oikawa, who’s laughing to himself when they hear the shrimp has run into someone.

They both look over and suddenly Hajime feels a great annoyance rush through him at someone other than Oikawa’s horrible attitude. Ushijima is looking down at the shrimp who just ran into him, saying “Hinata Shouyou” (Hajime supposes that’s Number Ten’s name, and suddenly he’s even more annoyed because how the fuck does Ushijima know his name but Hajime doesn’t?) before glancing over at them with an indifferent expression. “Plus Oikawa and Iwaizumi, huh…”

He hears Oikawa mutter under his breath, “what’s with this timing?” and he can tell he’s just as annoyed as Hajime, so he answers back, “like I’d know,” to let Oikawa know he’s annoyed too. Ushijima makes a quip about this being their last tournament, wishing them luck in a serious tone that Hajime just cannot take as genuine. Clearly, Oikawa doesn’t either, responding to Ushijima’s - in all honesty - kind words with “you  _ really _ piss me off!”

Feeling rejuvenated at having reconciled with Oikawa, and knowing they were still on the same page in most aspects, he joins in his anger with an admission that they’d be the one’s going to nationals.

Ushijima only appears confused at his words, responding in true Ushijima fashion that only one team from Miyagi would be able to represent, clearly meaning it will be Shiratorizawa. Hajime can feel the anger and annoyance radiating off of Oikawa and he feeds off of it as well, their emotions building off of one another as they glare back at Ushijima.

People are starting to notice this stand off but Hajime really doesn’t care, he’s standing his ground with Oikawa and glaring at Ushijima over Hinata’s head. He doesn’t even register whether or not Hinata is panicking or if he’s trying to glare up at them too - he’s a brave shorty, that’s for sure.

He’s apparently stupid though, because Hinata starts to say something about Karasuno being the one’s going to nationals and all heads turn to glare down at him. Hajime almost feels bad, but Hinata should really learn to shut his mouth. It reminds him of Kageyama almost, only less brave when Hinata starts to back up in obvious fear, right into the intimidating middle blocker from Datekou.

Ushijima walks off, and Hajime thinks this may be the first time he’s ever seen the guy actually look really annoyed. He glances to Hinata, who’s apologising to the Datekou guy and wonders if he’s riled Ushijima up somehow.

Oikawa starts to storm off though, and Hajime sighs before chasing after him. He’s going to need someone to help calm him down, and after all those apologies between them, Hajime knows he’ll be the best option.

———

Tooru feels some edge taken off from his encounter with Ushijima after their first match, and being able to talk to Iwaizumi again probably was helping too. It had been an odd month without communicating with Iwaizumi beyond formalities, and Tooru spent a few nights wide awake and wanting to cry when it got to be too much. Having seen the charm in Iwaizumi’s hand had been the last straw and he just needed to let all the tears he’d been holding in out right then and there.

He needed Iwaizumi in his life, even if it wasn’t as lovers. Tooru knew this, knew that Iwaizumi helped him when Tooru couldn’t do it himself, and even though it hurt to love someone who didn’t feel the same, he wanted to have Iwaizumi by his side. As long as he was in Tooru’s life, Tooru knew he’d be fine.

Their team left sometime after they won, only stayed by to see some of the match ups, but their coaches recommended they go home to rest up for the second day, since they’d be playing two matches. Tooru followed Iwaizumi home, and they remained in silence for the walk. They nodded their goodbyes as they separated at Iwaizumi’s home, and Tooru wondered if Iwaizumi could feel his apprehension building again.

By the next day, though, Tooru had woken up feeling refreshed and his smiling face caused his parents to breath a sigh of relief. He didn’t ask if they knew he’d made up with Iwaizumi, and he didn’t offer the information up for fear of his mother getting angry at this.

He picked Iwaizumi up and they smile awkwardly at each other before heading to school for the ride over to Sendai Gymnasium again. Tooru feels an itch at the back of his neck, and has to squeeze his hands inside his jacket pockets to keep from taking Iwaizumi’s hand.

Upon arriving, they catch a bit of Karasuno’s match against Wakutani before starting their own against Datekou. It was a good match, but without their third years, Seijou was able to win both sets easily, especially with Tooru communicating with Iwaizumi again. It felt nice to flow with him once more, to have their old habits and perfect trust come back without issue. They were in sync again, more so than when they were just cooperating quietly with one another.

After a break, they set out to play against Karasuno, and Tooru was glad to see their captain up and moving again after his collision. But there was an air of something different around Sawamura that Tooru couldn’t place - in fact, the whole team seemed different, even Kageyama.

It was unnerving, but Tooru knew that his team would prevail, especially with Kyoutani in the wings as a secret weapon.

The coaches ran it by Tooru and Iwaizumi during the break, wondering if Kyoutani would be needed during the match because of how much Karasuno seems to have grown. Tooru thought it would be interesting and Iwaizumi had agreed, though they both were quietly worried that something might go wrong if Kyoutani lost his cool. Though to his credit, Kyoutani’s progressing relationship with Yahaba seemed to be what kept him in line, along with his respect for Iwaizumi. Tooru felt pride in his team going into the match, and even when they left.

They played their hardest, did their best. In the end, they went three sets and even after a spectacular toss to Iwaizumi, they lost. He still hears Iwaizumi’s old words in his head as the ball never dropped in that final moment of back and forth, thinking of the stronger six. Tooru could still feel the ground crumbling beneath him at that last moment, how the ball dropped on his account and Karasuno won.

Most of all, he remembers feeling resignation and giving his final words to Kageyama before turning to thank their spectators. After listening to their coaches, he comes across Iwaizumi who hadn’t moved, and looked to be trying to hold back tears. Not wanting to bring attention to his best friend, he simply did as Iwaizumi always did for him in public and smacked his back - a sign that he was there for him, that they could cry later.

He doesn’t think back to having to explain to Ushijima that he didn’t make a mistake in going to Seijou - the conversation was typical and Tooru, for the first time, didn’t let it break him like it had in the past. For this loss, he needed to remain strong for Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi couldn’t be the one to comfort him.

They’d gone out to eat with the team, and Tooru followed the other third years back to the school. He played with them a friendly match, thanked them all for their time together when it came time to head home.

Now he walks side by side with Iwaizumi, neither saying a word, and neither of them ready to break down just yet. Tooru thinks back to the match, wonders what they could have done differently - but there wasn’t anything he would have changed. Every toss he made, every direction he moved, Tooru knew that in this one particular game, Karasuno had the stronger six.

Iwaizumi stops suddenly, so Tooru does as well. He looks to him, wonders what’s going on in his head.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it count,” Iwaizumi mutters, staring down at his shoes. Tooru wishes he could say he doesn’t know what he means, but he understands perfectly well what his friend is on about.

“It wasn’t you’re fault - they had the better six this time, that’s all,” Tooru admits, moving to stand in front of Iwaizumi completely. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“We might never get to play volleyball together again, and I wasted that final toss to me,” Iwaizumi whispers, and Tooru waits. He knows neither of them have finalized their plans for college yet, but he also knows that they probably aren’t looking at the same schools. “This last year together - I’ve ruined it completely.”

Tooru blanches at this, squawking a little in an awkward bout of shock. Iwaizumi finally looks up at him, his face completely confused from the noise Tooru made and Tooru feels heat rise to his cheeks. “What do you mean you’ve ruined it?”

“We lost, again, and we’re not going to nationals, again - all because of me,” Iwaizumi admits, and his face crumbles at that. “On top of that, I’ve also been revealed as your soulmate and I ruined that too. I broke your heart, and even if you say you’ll forgive me, I know it’s not true!”

Iwaizumi grabs at his head, pulling and scratching at his messy hair and Tooru just watches. True, Iwaizumi did take his heart and rip it into tiny pieces, but watching him anguish over it - seeing him so distraught over hurting Tooru, this also breaks what’s left of his heart. This is his best friend, standing before him, feeling as if everything he’s done this year had caused nothing but trouble, that he believes he is the cause of every issue Tooru currently faces.

He can’t see Iwaizumi like this, and he certainly can’t bring himself to blame Iwaizumi for anything that has happened between them.

“Iwa-chan…” He pauses, takes a deep breath. “Hajime, it’s okay,” he whispers instead. Iwaizumi stops pulling on his hair, his arms going limp, but his finger remain tangled in his hair, his body hunched. “I don’t blame you for anything. The game - it wasn’t your fault, or mine even. We just simply weren’t the stronger six this time, right?” Iwaizumi’s hands fall, but he doesn’t straighten to meet Tooru’s gaze. Feeling bold, he reaches forward to take his hands into his own. “And my heart… it may be broken, but I know it’s not the end of the world. We’re meant to be together - someway, somehow. I… I can live with that.”

Iwaizumi’s fingers tighten around Tooru’s hands, and he finally looks up. His eyes are red rimmed and tears are threatening to pour out the sides. In the light of the moon, his eyes shine hazel and Tooru wants to never look away. “I’m sorry…”

“Stop apologising,” Tooru chuckles, lets go of one of Iwaizumi’s hands to reach up and wipe away a tear that starts to fall. “We’ll figure this out, we always do.”

Tooru keeps his hand on Iwaizumi’s face, just cupping his cheek as he gazes into his eyes. Iwaizumi doesn’t flinch at his touch, doesn’t move away or duck his head. Instead, he moves closer, moving his free hand around to Tooru’s back in an awkward hug, never releasing his hold on Tooru’s other hand.

He feels Iwaizumi shake before he hears him sob, and Tooru wishes he could crumble with him. Instead, he closes his eyes, and holds on for as long as Iwaizumi needs.

———

It had been bugging him since his father said it. The forums online pointed out all the facts that supported the conspiracy. All Hajime had left was to see someone who could give him his answers, and the email that had shined in his face that morning gave him all he needed.

Oikawa had said he didn’t want to go anywhere after last night, especially when it came to seeing Karasuno play against Shiratorizawa. Hajime let it be, hoped Oikawa would keep his own word and not attend the game before leaving for the mall.

The TiMER store stood before him, and Hajime glanced at the time on his phone. It currently read out to him that it was twenty minutes too early for the scheduled meeting he signed up for. Hesitant, he shuffled around outside the store before deciding to ignore any voices telling him it was rude to loiter inside and entered the store.

The woman who had implanted his TiMER wasn’t working, but the new woman at the counter perked at seeing him. “Hello! How can I help you?”

Hajime moves closer, notes how empty the store is. “I’m supposed to be meeting a TiMER specialist in twenty minutes - I guess I’m just a little early.”

She hums, looks to the clipboard on the counter. “Are you Iwaizumi-san?” He nods. “Well, my boss doesn’t have any other appointments, so I don’t think he’d mind meeting with you sooner.”

He follows her to the back, further than the room he’d gotten his TiMER in. She puts her finger up before entering an office, so Hajime takes that to mean he needs to wait.

“Right this way, Iwaizumi-san,” she reappears and Hajime is surprised at the quick service. Moving to follow her again, he moves through the door to find an older man seated at a desk. The woman leaves.

“Good morning, Iwaizumi-san,” the man says, gesturing to the chair across from his desk. Hajime takes a seat, feeling his stomach do it’s weird nervous movement of the pit and rocks. “I’m Sato Haru, the head of this particular branch of the TiMER corporation. I understand you have some questions about your TiMER?”

Hajime nods, takes a deep breath. “I just wanted to know about the weird… feelings I’ve been having.”

Sato gives him an odd look. “What do you mean? Is your TiMER giving you physical pain?”

“No, no,” Hajime takes another deep breath, almost feeling stupid. “I just want to know  _ why _ I think I’m in love with my best friend.”

Sato makes a noise, nodding a little. “The theory that the TiMER makes someone only think they’re in love…”

Hajime shrugs, feeling a little embarrassed. “You see, my best friend had a flashing TiMER for two years before I ever got mine. And when I did, they went off together and suddenly, now I’ve been having weird feelings for him I never did before.”

“Iwaizumi-san,” Sato starts, pauses to consider his next sentence. “Are you certain it’s all because of the TiMER and not something you just never noticed before?”

“Yes!” Hajime snaps, stops to calm himself. “I mean, I’ve known him for eleven years. Why would I suddenly fall for him just because our TiMER’s say so?”

Sato shakes his head, folds his hands on the desk. “I’m afraid that’s not because of the TiMER, though.”

“What?”

“You said his TiMER was flashing before, yes?” Sato asks, and Hajime nods. “Well, the meaning behind a flashing TiMER is that your soulmate simply hasn’t gotten theirs yet.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Do you?” Sato gives him a look. “Do you really understand what I meant? Hasn’t gotten theirs -  _ yet _ . A flashing TiMER means you have a soulmate out there who will, one day, get a TiMER as well. A blank TiMER means you have a soulmate who will never consider the TiMER, even for a second.”

Hajime stares at him. “You mean… I was always meant to get the TiMER?”

“Did you want one?”

“No,” Hajime mumbles, looks to his wrist. “My best friend convinced me to get it.”

“But, you still did it,” Sato gestures to him. “You were going to get one eventually, and maybe you just got it too soon.”

“Huh?”

“See, when destiny decides things for you, sometimes you can play along,” Sato leans back in his chair, nodding a little. “But when you can decipher your destiny, you can push things to move faster, or go slower. In the case of the TiMER, people only get it when they want to.”

Hajime stares at him. “I didn’t want mine.”

“You were, eventually, going to get one. You just…” Sato waves his hand a bit, “got it sooner than planned.”

Hajime continues to stare at him. “So… I’m just a few years too early to be with Tooru?”

Sato shrugs. “If you’re starting to think you love him now, but aren’t sure you want to be, then yes. You’re a bit early on realizing the love you would have, one day, found.”

He hesitates, thinks about what Sato is trying to say. If he just got the TiMER too soon, then that means he just wasn’t ready for this commitment - wasn’t ready to be with Oikawa, or fall in love in general. Falling in love, it was scary - his body was frightened of the feelings he’d been having since June.

“Iwaizumi-san?” Hajime jumps a bit, snaps his gaze from the wall behind Sato to Sato’s face. “Are you alright?”

Hajime gulps, looks down at his TiMER with the zeroes. “I… how do I know if I’m ready to be with him if I got this too soon?”

Sato shrugs. “Love is a strange thing, I’m afraid. Even if the TiMER tells you who it is, that doesn’t mean you’ll love them unconditionally. There’s work to relationships, and sometimes you’ll fight, and sometimes you’ll think it’s completely wrong. Our reports have fluctuated on all relationships, and those who were satisfied, unsatisfied, undecided - it changes often, because they either don’t put in the effort or they forgot to put in effort or they gave up.” Sato shakes his head. “The TiMER points you in the right direction of who will be the best person for you to love, but that doesn’t mean you’ll fall head over heels and live happily ever after. You will, eventually, come to love whoever the TiMER gives you, but whether you stay in love or not depends on you and your partner.”

Hajime thinks this over, staring down at his wrist. Is it possible that, once they lost to Karasuno (because that certainly had nothing to do with the TiMER, that was an outside factor of his life) would Hajime would have come here today in a different timeline? If he wasn’t pressured into getting the TiMER (which is ugly sounding, Oikawa didn’t mean to pressure him) would today have been the day he got it?

“Sato-san, is it possible for you to do me a favor?” Hajime looks up at the old man, who smiles kindly at him. “I-I can pay, but… I need to figure something out."

Hajime has a strange hunch now, and he certainly doesn’t think the TiMER is affecting him like his father claimed.


	11. Chapter Ten

The fake glasses perched on his nose are starting to slip, but Tooru doesn’t notice, or care really. He’s watching the match with an intense focus, and he doesn’t want to miss a moment. Karasuno has surprised him thus far, and though he’d never admit it out loud, he’s completely amazed at Kageyama’s skill improvement since he last saw him in middle school. His former kouhai has grown so much, and this team of weirdos is what helped him - Tooru can’t help but feel the smallest twinge of jealousy at knowing some other senpai were able to bring out the best in someone who once looked up to him.

This match has been dragging on for so long and Tooru wishes one of them would just give up already. He can’t take the suspense of not knowing if Karasuno will win, making his own loss valid in some way if it means taking down Shiratorizawa, or if Shiratorizawa will continue to reign supreme. He can’t take not knowing which will make him less angry.

He tightens his hold on his knees, leaning forward to adjust himself from having sat in the bleachers for so long. Tooru grows tense with the reappearance of the glasses kid from Karasuno returning and he scowls when he sees the one touch he manages off of Ushijima. How many times did his team succeed in doing that? He can’t figure it out right now, but he’s sure it’s happened before.

“So you’re here too, huh,” a familiar voice calls behind him, and Tooru tenses. He’d told Iwaizumi last night he wouldn’t torture himself by coming, that it would be frustrating no matter who won. Hopping over the seats to stand in his row, Iwaizumi states as much, and Tooru chooses to not look away from the match below.

“Well, that’s ‘cause no matter who wins,” Tooru starts, attempting to relax under what he assumes is Iwaizumi glaring at him - he can’t bare to check - and he leans back in the chair, “I’ll get to see first-hand the losers’ faces!”

Iwaizumi mutters something about Tooru being an asshole, Tooru decides to switch the conversation to the game itself. He’s not sure he wants to talk to Iwaizumi about anything other than volleyball right now, regardless of whether or not they made up yesterday. He does his best to not look at him, despite the hurt he feels when Iwaizumi sits a seat away and is passive in the conversation.

He focuses on the game, on the way Karasuno has grown and changed, says as much to Iwaizumi, who only agrees here and there. Tooru doesn’t like how little he speaks, and finds the need to fill the empty space between them. When Iwaizumi chooses to only respond that he’s an asshole after a quip about hoping they both lose, Tooru falls quiet.

And yet, Iwaizumi chooses to bring back the conversation by awkwardly commenting on Kageyama’s little partner, Hinata, being strangely quiet. Hoping the conversation might pick up, he does his best to answer why he thinks that is. They fall silent again, and Tooru wonders if their silences will ever be okay again.

They get excited over the game having a shift and are impressed when things get crazy, but Tooru can feel the tension from Iwaizumi. He can’t place why, and he can’t figure out what makes the empty seat feel like a cavern between them.

Without warning, and while Tooru nearly becomes distracted by his worries that something changed between him and Iwaizumi, the ball dropped and Karasuno came out victorious. He felt the silence of complete awe and confusion before the realization of what happened over the sound of the whistle twisted the gym into shouts of shock, amazement, excitement, and of frustration all around him.

Tooru felt grounded, watching Karasuno celebrate before turning to look at Shiratorizawa. Ushijima is prominent in his view, and he’s not sure if he actively searched for his rival or not. The look on his face seems like it always is, maybe a little upset, but it’s just not enough for him to feel satisfied.

Iwaizumi hums then, bringing his attention back to him. “Kageyama… did some solid work…”

Tooru hesitates, wonders why he’d try to make him talk about his kouhai after having watched him succeed where he never could - beating Ushijima. “So you noticed too, Iwa-chan?” If he wanted to talk about their former kouhai, Tooru would oblige and ramble about the successes Kageyama and his team made today.

He knows Iwaizumi is trying to compliment him by saying Kageyama is his disciple, but Tooru really couldn’t bare to hear it. Kageyama will always be a challenge he has to overcome, and at this rate, Tooru never would. So he continues to praise Kageyama bitterly and tells his best friend how much it pisses him off.

Iwaizumi turns the praise onto the glasses middle blocker though, as if he’s telling Tooru it’s not all about Kageyama and that he’s powerless alone. He brushes it off, turns the attention to Hinata instead and how much he’d improved before gesturing to the side. Tooru notices immediately that Iwaizumi avoids his gaze, and figuring he’d find out why later, Tooru starts to push him to the exit.

They make their way home, but Tooru can’t shake the feeling that something is off with Iwaizumi. “Iwa-chan,” he starts, and when he turns to look at him, he notices that Iwaizumi is purposefully not looking at him. Frowning, he jumps to try to look him in the eye, but Iwaizumi pauses and turns around. Tooru grows worried, “why won’t you look at me?”

“It’s not…” Iwaizumi groans, and Tooru watches him scratch at his head. His neck is growing redder by the second. “It’s not the right time.”

Tooru stares, wonders what that means. “Iwa-chan, what are you going on about?”

“Just - give me a second, okay?”

He waits, but when Iwaizumi doesn’t turn back, Tooru scowls. What, did he have a huge zit and he didn’t want Tooru to look at it? Tooru wouldn’t give a shit if Iwaizumi had crazy gross burn marks all over his face, he’d still like to be able to look Iwaizumi in the eye.

“Would you just look at me?!” Tooru snaps, reaching out to turn him around, and Iwaizumi fumbles when Tooru pulls too hard and he didn’t expect to be turned so quickly. Iwaizumi keeps his gaze to the ground and Tooru grows more frustrated. “Iwa-chan, my eyes are up here.”

Iwaizumi sighs, closes his eyes and rolls his shoulders before standing at his full height. Tooru waits a beat before poking him in the ribs, making him jump a bit. Iwaizumi finally opens his eyes and he looks at Tooru’s chest before pulling his eyes up to meet his gaze.

The beeping coming from their wrists is the last thing Tooru expected to happen. He blinks, thinks he’s imagining this moment, but Iwaizumi’s face is suddenly red and Tooru doesn’t know what to think.

Taking a deep breath, Tooru looks down to pull his sleeve up so his TiMER was in view. It’s flashing zeroes at him, and Tooru grows confused. “Iwa-chan, why are our TiMERs going off again?”

He doesn’t answer, so Tooru looks back up at his blushing face. Iwaizumi keeps his eyes on Tooru’s TiMER, “I… got mine reset.”

Tooru’s face breaks at this, wonders what this means. “Why…? What’s the purpose of resetting the TiMER?” Iwaizumi is shuffling on his feet, and he won’t look Tooru in the eye. “Did you think if you reset it, we’d get new soulmates?”

“What?” Iwaizumi snaps and he’s finally looking him in the eye again. Tooru can tell Iwaizumi is hurt by this suggestion, but he’s not really sure what else to think. “No! I - I saw someone about the TiMER today…”

He’s not sure how that answers what’s happening here. “Why?”

“I needed to know whether or not I actually felt something or if I was being tricked,” Iwaizumi mumbles, and Tooru grows even more confused. “You see, I thought that everything I was going through… the feelings I was having… I thought the TiMER was making me think that instead of it being real…”

His lungs must not be working because Tooru isn’t sure he can breathe. “I don’t understand… you didn’t feel anything for me, that’s what you said…”

“I actually never said I didn’t,” Iwaizumi says, flinches. “At least, I don’t remember ever saying that exactly…” Tooru stares at him, and it feels like he’s having an out of body experience. “I… I was scared. Scared to fall in love or to be with you or - I don’t know. I guess, on top of being sick and not knowing it, and being nervous because I was falling for you, I didn’t know what to do, I just felt like I would throw up at the worst times. Hell, I almost threw up in your mouth!”

Tooru blinks once. “Uh… thanks for… _not_ doing that?”

“Yeah, and you punched me for it!” Iwaizumi groans, smacks his head. “I’m sorry, ignore that,” he grumbles, huffing in annoyance and for once, Tooru thinks it’s more at himself than at Tooru. “Look, I… I was falling in love with you—”

“What?”

“—and, no, let me finish,” Iwaizumi waved a hand in his face, took a deep breath and sighed. “I was - _am_ , I am falling in love with you and I just needed to know if it was real or if I was being manipulated. I was so desperate to know that I went to see a TiMER specialist and I learned something today.”

Tooru stares, isn’t sure what to say.

“I learned what the blank TiMER meant - completely blank, not even dashes flashing at you,” Iwaizumi pauses, really looks at Tooru then. “It meant that your soulmate would _never_ get a TiMER, that they were either dead or were unable to bring themselves to get one. That a flashing TiMER,” he gestures to Tooru’s then, indicating he meant what Tooru’s used to do, “means your soulmate will eventually get one, even if they once thought that the TiMER wasn’t worth it.”

He takes this in, feels his brain churn to understand what this means. “My TiMER flashed, and you are my soulmate… but you didn’t want one before…”

Iwaizumi nods, “And yet your TiMER flashed.” Tooru hesitates, doesn’t know what to say. “I was always going to get one, even if I didn’t realize it before.”

“But how would they know?” Tooru asks, shaking his head. “You - you’re basically saying that these TiMER’s are predicting something based upon our choices we haven’t even made yet, and that doesn’t—”

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi interrupts him, and Tooru falls silent. “The TiMER already determines when people will meet. How does it do that when we’re always making choices? No one’s TiMER ever changes once it starts counting down, right?” He stares back at Iwaizumi, who appears to not be shaken up by this. “I don’t get it either, but… at this point, I’m willing to believe that you and I are meant to be, and maybe, just maybe, June was too soon for this to start.”

Hesitating, Tooru shuffles on his feet. “Iwa-chan, why did you reset the TiMER?”

Iwaizumi licks his lips and sighs. “Because I have a feeling that if I didn’t push destiny to move faster, today would have been the day I got it and fell in love with you…”

Tooru’s heart speeds, and he’s not sure what’s happening. “Why? What made today so special that you think things would have been different if you didn’t get it back in June? Why accept that some device is telling you this is your fate?”

He takes Tooru’s hand then, and he feels himself shake at the touch. “Because after yesterday, we wouldn’t have just lost a volleyball game, but we would have lost each other if I didn’t do something to save our relationship.”

“What…?” Tooru shakes his head, feels a pressure behind his eyes. “That’s so dumb, just because we don’t have volleyball doesn’t mean we’d stop seeing each other!”

“We’re about to fall into the toughest exams since we started high school, and I know we’re not looking at the same schools,” Iwaizumi shrugs, his smile falling flat. “Tooru, we’d have lost touch because we’d be too focused on our futures to really look at each other again. If I didn’t already have the TiMER, I would have gotten it today.”

Tooru rips his hand away, shakes his head again. “Why would that change anything? How would you have known - how can you be so sure?”

“Haven’t you been listening?” Iwaizumi mutters, holding his gaze. “Most everyone we’ve talked to about it never once seemed shocked that we were each other’s one - don’t you think that’s odd?”

He pauses, thinks about this. His family hadn’t seemed shocked, just relatively impressed that Iwaizumi had gotten the TiMER at all. Matsukawa and Hanamaki had accepted it without a second thought, not a single bat of the eye when they heard the news. The rest of the team, classmates - hell, even Kageyama had asked if his one was Iwaizumi without prompting!

Tooru stares at him. “They all knew before we did… but how?”

Iwaizumi shrugs. “I have no idea, but… it makes sense,” he bites his lip, looks away a second. “I… can’t see my life without you in it, Tooru. I’m pretty sure that, if I didn’t already get the TiMER before today, I would have gone to get it because I’d be afraid of losing you.”

The pressure behind his eyes grows to be too much and suddenly, he feels the tears start to roll down his cheeks. “H-Hajime…”

Not a second wasted, Iwaizumi steps forward and pulls Tooru into a hug. He latches on, holds onto Iwaizumi for dear life and sobs into his shoulder. It didn’t hurt though, nothing did, but the relief he felt was enough to release the wave of emotions he’d been holding back.

“I love you, Tooru,” Iwaizumi whispers, and he sobs again.

———

Hajime wonders if the pit will make it’s appearance as he walks up to his house, Oikawa’s hand in his. He wonders if he’ll feel like throwing up again despite not being sick anymore. As he goes to unlock the front door, he starts to worry that he’ll do something stupid and embarrass himself and despite all that they’ve been through, it will be so bad that Oikawa will laugh cruelly and decide he isn’t worth loving and—

He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, gesturing for Oikawa to enter first. He grins at Hajime then, eyes lighting up when Hajime looks at him. His mouth splits into a dopey grin in response, watching Oikawa step inside and wondering how dumb he looked then.

Groaning inwardly, Hajime steps inside as well and closes the door behind him, moving to remove his shoes as well. He notes immediately that his family’s daily shoes were missing and wonders where they went - wonders if this means he’s alone with Oikawa.

Who he just confessed to.

And definitely returns his feelings.

Hajime’s face heats and he hurries to the kitchen to see if his mother left a note about when they’d all be back. Oikawa follows, whistling a little joyous tune, clearly more content than he’d been since June.

He feels slightly guilty for all the heartache, tries to crush it down. It doesn’t seem Oikawa is mad at him for making him wait a little longer.

His mother did leave a note, and Hajime reads it over to find that his parents were going to meet with some old friends of theirs, and that Kaida had gone with to play with the friends’ son. There isn’t a specified time they’d be back, so Hajime gulps and feels his face warm again when he looks back to Oikawa.

“Where’re your folks?” Oikawa asks, humming happily from his place at the counter’s stool, leaning happily into his hands and watching Hajime with careful attention.

He shrugs, gestures to the note. “I guess a friend’s house, but I don’t know who.”

Oikawa’s eyes spark then, and Hajime gulps at the look he’s given. “Oh? So we’re alone?”

Instead of answering, Hajime puts the note down and clears his throat. “Since when do you need glasses?”

He has to admit, when he saw Oikawa in the stands at the game, he could have sworn he was attempting to disguise himself. Upon further inspection though, Oikawa was simply wearing some new glasses he’d never needed before.

Oikawa tenses at this and his smile falters. “Oh, I’m just… trying something new…”

Hajime stares at him, crosses the few steps to stand across the count from him. “What’s with the glasses, Tooru?”

He groans and slumps across the counter top. “Why can’t you just tell me I look cute and kiss me?”

Blushing, Hajime licks his lips at the thought, but stands his ground. “Wow, so cute - now why do you have glasses?”

Oikawa sighs and lays his head on the counter. “I’m dumb and was eavesdropping on these two girls…”

Hajime doesn’t see the connection. “And then?”

“And then I thanked them because I’m an idiot and they looked at me like I was a creep so I bought the glasses and left to go to the game.”

Hajime still doesn’t get what happened, doesn’t think he’ll ever understand what Oikawa does when he’s not around. Instead, he sighs and shakes his head, reaching out to pet Oikawa’s hair. There’s no real need for it, he just wants to touch Oikawa, and this seems safe enough for now.

“Thanks for not laughing,” Oikawa mumbles, moving his head a bit to give Hajime more access to a different part of his hair. “I felt so dumb that I didn’t know what else to do… but most of the people I’ve ran into since have told me I look amazing in glasses.”

He considers this, hums a bit. “I don’t think it really matters what you do, you’re too attractive for your own good.”

Oikawa sits up then, staring wide eyed at Hajime. His face is red, and Hajime feels some kind of content wash through him when he realizes Oikawa might just be as embarrassed and nervous as he feels. “Hajime is too honest,” he whines, burying his face in his hands and skewing the glasses a bit.

Hajime rolls his eyes, leans forward onto the counter to be closer to Oikawa. “Just stating facts here…”

Oikawa makes some weird, throaty noise at that, and Hajime smiles when he peeks through his fingers at him. Eventually, Oikawa drops his hands and leans forward as well, his face red and a shy smile playing on his lips.

“Hajime, we should go somewhere more private,” he whispers then, and Hajime thinks it might be impossible to blush anymore, but his face is burning hot at this point.

Not wanting to lose face in front of his new boyfriend though, Hajime grins and grabs Oikawa’s hand. “Then let’s go to my room…”

Oikawa stumbles off the stool, but he goes with him fairly willingly. Hajime turns, his face contorting to match how freaked out he felt inside as he leads Oikawa to his bedroom. Once inside, he feels far too hot and strips his coat off, tossing it to the chair of his desk.

He hears the door click, and he takes a deep breath, seeing Oikawa’s own coat go to join his. “So now what?” Oikawa asks, coming to stand beside him.

Hajime hesitates, isn’t sure what to say. The silence between them isn’t like it used to be - it’s not peaceful, and it’s certainly not deafening like when they argued the last five months. Hajime feels the tension of desire between them, wonders how much they’ll do that day.

He’s pretty sure he’s not ready to do too much, though.

As much as he wants to - and he _really_ wants to - they only just became official. Sure, they wasted the last five months (okay, Hajime wasted the last five months) and they’d kissed before, but now…

Now they had the rest of their lives to figure it out, and until then, Hajime wanted to go slowly with Oikawa.

Oikawa stands before him then, small, shy smile playing on his lips as he scuffs his foot. “Want to hear something funny?”

Hajime could use a good laugh, but for some reason he knows this won’t be funny - maybe not in a bad way, but he’s not sure yet. “Sure,” he answers, watching Oikawa shift between which foot he wanted to stand on.

“Back when we agreed to try in June, I accidentally started a song,” Oikawa murmurs, and he can’t seem to look Hajime in the eye. “I think that was the moment I knew I really fell in love with you…”

He blinks, can’t piece together how this is funny. But he remembers the sound of a piano, and wonders what it was. “What song was it?”

Oikawa’s face burns red, and he’s pulling his sleeves up a little. “Um… it was a piano piece called _Love Me_...”

Hajime stares at him, can barely recall the sound of the piano in his head. But it seems fitting, almost like the song told him everything Oikawa couldn’t in that moment.

He doesn’t think about it then, just steps forward and pushes Oikawa backwards, catching him a little when he doesn’t quite land completely on his bed. Oikawa latches onto him then, eyes wide while he stares up at Hajime, who’s pushing his body a little further onto the bed before dropping down to capture his lips for the second time in his life.

Oikawa gasps against his lips, and Hajime fumbles a bit as he pushes the glasses out of the way without breaking the kiss. He feels Oikawa respond, wrapping his legs around one of Hajime’s to pull him closer, and Hajime responds by cupping at his face. The other hand he buries in the sheets, not willing to let it pull on Oikawa’s fluffy hair, isn’t sure if the moment calls for any roughness.

Apparently it does though, because Oikawa is shifting, pulling at his hoodie and scrambling to touch his face, too. His lips shift, turning to bite into Hajime’s mouth and he feels the scrape of a bit of stubble on Oikawa’s cheek. He takes a deep breath, breathes in the scent of Oikawa and finds he doesn’t mind the squareness of his jaw, the rough patches of missed hair on his cheek.

He shifts too, tries to bite back to gain the upper hand, but Oikawa is pulling him further up his body then, and Hajime goes with the movement, isn’t sure what’s happening until Oikawa is on top of him, pushing and pulling at his clothes. Hajime gasps when he feels Oikawa’s thighs tighten around his hips, wonders if now is the time to be rough.

He remembers then that Oikawa is most certainly a man, and he can’t imagine things being soft when two men are fighting for dominance. Part of him wants to lay back and let Oikawa ravish him - by the way he’s moving, he probably would, too - but the other part wants to take back control. Use this moment to compete with Oikawa once more in being better than him, and in this case, it’s who’s the stronger one when it comes to kissing wholly and completely.

Hajime grabs hold of Oikawa’s hips, uses his abdominal muscles sit up and bring Oikawa with him to the sitting position. Oikawa’s groaning then, and Hajime wonders if he is too before he throws Oikawa back onto the full length of his bed, crowding him again.

Judging by how Oikawa starts to laugh between the kisses, he wasn’t expecting Hajime to try to regain the upper hand. And Hajime lets him laugh, gives a few chuckles himself, but he’s on a mission to kiss Oikawa senseless and he can’t do that if he’s laughing.

His hands are pulling down the length of Oikawa’s arms, feeling the well worked muscles under his sweater and thinking about when Oikawa had punched him. He’s just as strong as Hajime, give or take, and it gives him a rush to be able to reduce Oikawa to squirming in pleasure and gasping out giggles and moans when he pulls back for a second to catch his breath.

Oikawa’s feeling his body too, and it seems that for this moment, Hajime has won the challenge of who will be above who because Oikawa just continues to pull at his clothes. He’s not sure he’s ready to start removing clothes in this situation, but the room was hot for an October evening and his hoodie was pretty thick.

So he finally lets Oikawa get his way and the hoodie is over his head and removed from his body, Oikawa’s long fingers spreading down his abs just before the door slams open.

“Tooru-nii is here!” Kaida yells, bouncing into the room and jumping onto the bed, effectively jostling Hajime out of the way. Hajime’s body burns at the same time he feels a rush of cold come over him, watching his pre-teen sister bouncing on the bed next to his boyfriend.

His boyfriend, who looks so out of it from the kissing that he’s blearily staring up at Hajime with an expression of complete confusion.

“Oh!” Hajime’s mother gasps from the door, having rounded the corner. Hajime feels mortified when he looks at his mother and sees her face turn pink. “K-Kaida, sweetheart, the boys are… busy! Come on!”

Kaida whines, falls to sit on the edge of the bed and pouts at their mother. “But mom, Tooru-nii hasn’t been here in so long!”

Hajime can’t look away from his mother, feeling like a black hole has come to suck the life out of his room while she tries to corral Kaida away from him and Oikawa.

Oikawa’s sitting up, pulling his shirt down a little - shit, when did he start to touch him there? He doesn’t remember. Hajime avoids his eyes, avoids everyone’s eyes and just stares at his bedsheets.

Kaida finally storms from the room, telling their mother she’s being unfair and Hajime glances up to look at her. His mother looks as though she just wanted to go to sleep as she sighs, looking back to her son and his best friend.

“I’m sorry, boys, I noticed Tooru’s shoes and mentioned he was here,” she says then, giving a small, awkward smile. “She just gets so excited… though, I think the door should,” she coughs, looks away then. “The door should stay open for now.”

Before Hajime can say something - like a protest to the door being open, or an apology for his mother and sister just having walked in on him making out with his new boyfriend - she’s turning around and walking away.

Oikawa picks at his sleeve a little, moves to hand Hajime his hoodie back. “That was so much more awkward than a stupid dinner…”

No kidding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with that drawing :) See the version without the lighting effect over on my tumblr ---> [mellowdoodles.tumblr.com](http://mellowdoodles.tumblr.com/post/160796526268/with-and-without-the-lighting-effect-my-friend)
> 
> Also, I'm debating about whether I want to go on with my plans, or if I want to add a chapter or two... we'll see.


	12. Epilogue

Things changed after that day. Tooru wants to say that things were basically just like they were before - only better - but that wasn’t the case.

Hajime was so gentle with him, but if Tooru pushed, Hajime would push back twice as hard. It was great, and their physical relationship grew in ways Tooru could never imagine - in a good way, a  _ very good way _ \- and their emotional relationship was pure bliss.

Outside of their interpersonal relationship, things were rocky.

Their friends didn’t mind - they were pretty relaxed and happy about it, which Tooru appreciated about Hanamaki and Matsukawa. But they were rude if Tooru and Hajime stood beside one another, specifically if they glanced at each other or spoke or bumped into the other. They’d make noise about how love sick the two of them were, and Tooru worried their jokes would make Hajime back off again.

The other day though, Hajime had smirked at their words and just agreed to their teasing before kissing Tooru heatedly in the middle of lunch, making Matsukawa choke on his onigiri and Hanamaki gawk openly. Since then, Matsukawa and Hanamaki couldn’t look the two of them in the eye, and while it was appreciated, Tooru didn’t like how carefully they treaded around him and Hajime after that.

In terms of their families, Tooru’s was nervous at first when he came home to tell them about what had happened. Hiroko had just muttered something along the lines of “about time” while Souta and Chiyo congratulated him with small smiles. Clearly the two were still remembering the blood Hajime spilt, but Tooru’s grin made them calm again. Takeru was simply excited that Hajime was coming to Lil’ Tykes after that, and asked when he’d officially become his new uncle (Tooru wonders if Takeru wishes Hajime had been his uncle instead sometimes).

His parents, on the other hand, were on the fence about it. His father had grown pale and looked at his mother in worry, and his mother looked like she’d blow a fuse. She demanded to know when Tooru had started seeing Hajime again, and she seemed to think she was entitled to knowing all the details of the mess that was his and Hajime’s relationship prior to them getting together.

She calmed though when Hajime came by their house a few days later and personally apologised, telling Tooru’s mother that he loved Tooru more than anything. The sincere way he spoke was recognised immediately and she forgave Hajime, enveloping him in a hug and accepting the apology. Tooru felt relieved watching the exchange, and his father seemed to be as well.

The real issue came from Hajime’s father, much to Tooru’s surprise. Hajime admitted to Tooru a few weeks into their honeymoon phase that he wasn’t on speaking terms with his father, and Tooru grew worried it was because of him. His worries were confirmed when Hajime sadly admitted to having originally blamed the TiMER for his feelings because of an argument he had with his father, and Tooru knew he needed to fix it.

So that’s how he found himself standing outside the office of Hajime’s father’s work, feeling nervous beyond all measures. The secretary of the building had recognised him in association with Hajime and had let Tooru go up to Iwaizumi-san’s office, but Tooru felt so nervous now that he stood outside the door.

Wiping his hands on his pants, Tooru glances around to see if any other businessmen were around. Seeing none, he takes a deep breath and knocks.

“Come in,” Tooru flinches at the sound of Iwaizumi-san’s voice, hesitating a moment before grabbing the door handle and pushing it open. “How can I help—” the older man stop, looks at Tooru with a frown. “Tooru. What can I do for you?”

Tooru pauses before he steps inside, closing the door. “I-I’m sorry, Iwaizumi-san, I shouldn’t be here but I just… wasn’t sure when I’d see you at your home.”

Iwaizumi-san steeples his fingers and leans forward, nodding to the chair across from himself. “I think I understand, please, sit.”

Tooru obeys and plonks down in the seat, nervously biting his lip. “Iwaizumi-san, I’m sorry about the TiMER situation—”

“Tooru,” he starts, and his voice is so heavy that Tooru flinches. “You don’t need to apologise for my son. If Hajime wants to talk to me, he should do it himself, not send his boyfriend.”

“No,” Tooru shakes his head, “he didn’t send me! Hajime doesn’t even know I’m here… but he did tell me about what happened when you found out about the TiMER…” Iwaizumi-san stares, his expression unchanging. “I know you and your wife don’t agree with the TiMER, and I understand why, but Hajime…” He stops, thinks about what he’s going to say. “Hajime didn’t mean to go against you, and he really did try to find love on his own.”

Iwaizumi-san continues to stare, and Tooru feels his face warm under the man’s gaze, wondering if anything he could say would help Hajime. He isn’t even sure Hajime’s father would forgive Tooru, but he knew that all he wanted in this moment was for Iwaizumi-san to forgive Hajime.

He sighs, leaning forward into one of his hands. Tooru blinks, wonders why Hajime’s father looks as though he feels guilty. “Tooru, I know you think you understand, but right now, you do not,” Tooru almost protests, but Iwaizumi-san is looking him in the eye. “It’s true, I don’t agree with the TiMER, but it’s also true Hajime never meant any harm.” He shrugs, “in fact, I believe Hajime just made the mistake of depending on technology to tell him something he already knew.”

Tooru blinks, stares at him. “Wait… what do you mean?”

“You were both so young when you first met, so it doesn’t surprise me you don’t remember,” Iwaizumi-san starts, smiling fondly down at a photo on his desk. Tooru can’t see it, wonders if it’s a younger Hajime. “But the first day Hajime brought you home to spend the night, my wife was out at a get together for a potential day care with Kaida and I was to watch you both. We didn’t know then about your family and your beliefs in the TiMER, but it hadn’t mattered - I told my wife all about how perfect you were for each other.”

Tooru’s face heats even more at that, chooses to stay silent.

“I never told her why, just that I knew that Hajime would never be without you at his side. But I’ll tell you now, Tooru, since I’ve known this day would come for years,” Iwaizumi-san looks up from the photo, smiling at him. “Hajime had pulled you into my home, declaring I needed to meet the boy he’d marry one day.”

Tooru’s face is on fire, eyes widening. “W-what?”

Iwaizumi-san laughs, shaking his head. “It was so innocent, and neither of you seemed to notice, and it was clear you never remembered it. But you were both so set in the belief that you were meant to be that I could only agree. And whenever you would fight over the years, I always knew you’d find your way back to each other.” Iwaizumi-san frowns a little, sighing. “But then you got the TiMER, and Hajime changed in his actions around you. Even if he didn’t remember his declaration of marriage, it was clear he felt you were more important than anything, and that he wanted to remain the same for you.

“My son isn’t perfect, but Hajime is a good man,” Iwaizumi-san shrugs. “I just wish he had realized he had already loved you without the help from the TiMER, but in some way, I think he knew unconsciously that you wouldn’t be convinced without it.”

Tooru wanted to deny it, but he knew Iwaizumi-san was right. “I’m sorry for that…”

“It’s alright,” Iwaizumi-san says, and he sounds so genuine that Tooru feels his throat contract. “I wouldn’t want you to change who you are, especially for my son. And Hajime… Hajime was always going to follow after you, Tooru.”

He shook his head, “Hajime leads me just as often, Iwaizumi-san…”

He smiles regardless. “Like I said, you’re perfect for each other…” Tooru shakes, wants to jump up and hug his best friend’s father. Out of everyone who knew they were meant to be, Hajime’s father had known right from the start. “Now, based upon what my wife had texted me earlier, you’ll be joining us for dinner,” he says, and Tooru perks up, nods a little. “I’ll see you at dinner, son.”

Tooru grins, responds in kind before he leaves.

Eventually he finds himself in front of the Iwaizumi’s home and Hajime is just stepping out the door. He looks surprised to see Tooru there, but he smiles nonetheless. “Hey, I was just going to pick you up - mom said she’d distract Kaida for a bit if you want to hang out for—”

Tooru kisses him, and Hajime hums into the kiss. Pulling away, he grins at the dopey smile Hajime gives him. “I love you, Iwa-chan…”

“I love you too, Tooru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) Additional short stories may come, not sure yet ;)


End file.
